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Missed my chance with a girl - may have another - what now?
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Need experience first
It sounds like you don't have the experience to get with this girl, and furthermore, you may be misinterpreting her actions.
First, women are able to determine experience. You say you have none, so she likely can tell this. Probably, you are in the "friend zone" with her.(e.g. You say she wants you to be near her, sit with her, etc., when she goes out with friends. She may be using you as a "placeholder" man so that other men do not bombard her.)
You need to do two things.
1. Get a book (like The Mystery Method) that discusses the phases of courtship.
2. Practice practice practice! If you truly are 'uninterested' in other women, this should be easy, because if you are uninterested, you won't be nervous.
As I said above, women have very good social instincts. If you haven't had a girlfriend, women can pick up on this, and they will find this unattractive.
Therefore, if you want to get with this girl, you need to learn about women (first by reading), become attractive to her, and then attract HER to YOU.
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Posting on Macrumors is amusing, but this is totally the wrong venue to solve a problem like this.
It sounds like you don't have the experience to get with this girl, and furthermore, you may be misinterpreting her actions.
First, women are able to determine experience. You say you have none, so she likely can tell this. Probably, you are in the "friend zone" with her.(e.g. You say she wants you to be near her, sit with her, etc., when she goes out with friends. She may be using you as a "placeholder" man so that other men do not bombard her.)
You need to do two things.
1. Get a book (like The Mystery Method) that discusses the phases of courtship.
2. Practice practice practice! If you truly are 'uninterested' in other women, this should be easy, because if you are uninterested, you won't be nervous.
As I said above, women have very good social instincts. If you haven't had a girlfriend, women can pick up on this, and they will find this unattractive.
Therefore, if you want to get with this girl, you need to learn about women (first by reading), become attractive to her, and then attract HER to YOU.
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Posting on Macrumors is amusing, but this is totally the wrong venue to solve a problem like this.
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Ask her and see what happens.
From my own experience, I was interested in a women, but she was living with another guy. She approached me and we had a wonderful five months together before she pulled the plug because she couldn't take the stress (she was still living with the other guy, though he was never around). I had another chance, after he left for good, but I froze and maybe it wasn't meant to be, but over thirty years later, I still think what if. Life is too short not to take the chance.
From my own experience, I was interested in a women, but she was living with another guy. She approached me and we had a wonderful five months together before she pulled the plug because she couldn't take the stress (she was still living with the other guy, though he was never around). I had another chance, after he left for good, but I froze and maybe it wasn't meant to be, but over thirty years later, I still think what if. Life is too short not to take the chance.
You dated a woman for 5 months who was in a relationship with another man? What the hell. I have to stop visiting this thread.
I've dated women that were in another relationship with another man and I didn't even know it..
Who's "wrong" ? Me or the woman ?
And can you please define "wrong" ?
Knowingly dating someone who is in a relationship is WRONG for whoever knows. Come on now. You know the difference between right and wrong, we are not 12.
Nope
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So many generalizations and flat out untruthful statements here I don't even know where to start.
Women are automatically keen to whether somebody has had a gf before, and have good social instincts?
What? Do you have any hard data to support such a subjective claim?
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Well, for the most part you don't want a woman that does that sort of thing anyway. I wouldn't say it's wrong so much as it's really a bad idea.
Can you provide a link to some official governing body that says dating a woman with another boyfriend is wrong ?
Can you provide a link to some official governing body that says dating a woman with another boyfriend is wrong ?
Yeah, it's called having moral standards for yourself and others.
What's "moral" for one person might be normal for another.
Within reason of course. As long as its not illegal .
I personally don't believe in a lot of sex before marriage but its perfectly fine for others and I don't condemn them for it.
If the partner of the person dating another person is not ok with it, the person is a cheating scumbag and it is wrong. There is no justification for that. If they have an open relationship, then fine whatever.
You do realize it takes TWO to tango.
If the BF has a problem with another guy going out with his girlfriend he should be just as upset with his GF.
Yes, I meant to say the partner is a cheating scumbag for doing it.
And it is equally wrong for a person to knowingly date a person in a relationship unless the partner says they are in an open relationship( I would be wary of taking the girls word for it without talking to the BF).
So. to follow that logic. If both of these people are "scumbags" what was the nice person doing in a relationship with a scumbag ?
It's all relative.
What if a person is in a relationship with a bad person and meets a nice person someplace. Is that person bound to stick with the bad person or can that person go out with the actual nice person ?
It's easy. Dump the bad person for the good one. Don't go out with another person while still in another relationship. End the relationship and then go out with the other person.
Come on, you know better. Stop with the crap questions. It's called keep your peter in your pants and your date money in your wallet until you've broken up with your current partner.
It sounds to me like you are trying to justify similar questionable activities you've taken part in yourself.
It's all relative but if you date someone who is already in a relationship, don't be surprised if you too get cheated on.
While you sit and ponder what could be, there is the "IS". Don't make the mistake of wondering, DO something. She married? No? Then she's available. Multiple suitors is as old as the hills. She will let you know if it's good or not in short order.
Take it from me, one who has experience in exactly the same thing... and terrible regrets... AND who found out it was and still is mutual... but alas rings adorn fingers.
I am not kidding, haul ass and MOVE boy.
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Pbbbbbt. Engaged, perhaps. Married, certainly. But you know, even THEN there are exceptions. Nobody is OWNED. "She's MINE" when just dating translates to "I'm a possessive prick and I don't care if she's searching for happiness. I need a regular squack and she's it".
Take it from me, one who has experience in exactly the same thing... and terrible regrets... AND who found out it was and still is mutual... but alas rings adorn fingers.
I am not kidding, haul ass and MOVE boy.
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Pbbbbbt. Engaged, perhaps. Married, certainly. But you know, even THEN there are exceptions. Nobody is OWNED. "She's MINE" when just dating translates to "I'm a possessive prick and I don't care if she's searching for happiness. I need a regular squack and she's it".
Just stop with the BS. You all know what I am saying. I am done giving you people the satisfaction of an argument.
No one is saying she can't leave a relationship if she finds someone better. But, to go out and date two people at once is wrong unless it is an open relationship. Same thing goes for guys as well. End their current relationship to go out with the better person. It's not about being possessive.