For you, they will spray-paint an old 2012 MBP and an Apple lackey will deliver it personally to your house!
while this sounds kinda funny at first, in reality the maxxed out 2012 book STILL is a competitor for the latest macbooks performance-wise and a real option for some users. It seems there is a bunch of people who thinks similar to me, as it reflects in the aftermarket prices for the mid-2012 hires models. the prices on ebay Germany for a *used* hires 2012 15" macbooks were incredibly high last year, they were sold on ebay for the same prices as new.
... my main production machine in fact is that "old" MBP mid-2012 15", has 1.5 TB flash storage (raid-0 for double speed gives you ~1GB/sec), quadcore i7 2.6, 16 GB RAM so it's just like 15-20% slower than the high end macbooks you can buy today. i was extremely lucky and got mine for just 950 euros last year, condition like new (23 battery cycles only!), invested ~400 eur for ram and additional ssd storage. the hires display is non-glossy which for me is better than the retina mirrors they are selling right now. i know this won't work for photographers etc, but for me and my coding stuff i prefer the matte display.
yes, that machine is bulky compared to the latest macbooks, but guess what: for 95% of the day i don't care, it works perfectly, has a real keyboard and many ports, too. the touchpad is marginally better than the newer ones with glass, and it even has magsafe. ^^ sure it's non-retina which is a show-stopper for many users (i'm perfectly aware of that), but the hires display is perfectly fine for some use cases like coding. having a retina display would imply having a glossy display, that's a high tax for people like me - even if the newer retina displays have become less reflective (which i highly appreciate).
So in my eyes a maxx'd out 2012 cMBP 15" hires machine STILL compares pretty well performance-wise to the latest macbook which is sold for EUR 4999. - This is a matter of fact, and there's no need to make fun of it. Actually, in fact it's rather sad than funny.
p.s. I also do own a 13" retina book (late 2013) and it's a lovely machine. i truly like the form factor, but the performance just can't compete with my good old mid-2012 book. - if it was up to me, i'd vote for a quad-core i7 13" retina macbook with 32 gigs of ram, 2tb ssd, magsafe, real ports, a real keyboard. knowingly at the cost of weight and possibly battery life. for sure, i'd not spend more than 3500 eur for that. and: i won't spend 4999 euros for that new "high end" macbook, i'd rather buy a 4TB ssd for my mid-2012 book. and, unfortunately we have to say this in here to all blind fanboys: i could afford the 4999 euros for the "high-end" model, but it's just plain stupid to spend so much money on such a medium spec machine, so please don't even dare to start telling me i'm a whiner because i couldn't afford it. that kind of "argumentation" has been showing up multiple times in the forum here, and IMHO that's just showing how narrow-minded some are ...