You can't blame Flash for crappy site programming any more than you can blame OS X for crappy third party apps that keep crashing. Flash has issues of its own, sure, but the problems you're describing aren't issues on quality sites. I've played advanced Flash games that never crash, and I've tried others that crash before I've barely begun playing. The problem with unleashing something like Flash that's more or less an application platform, is that quality assurance will never be on par with 'real' software applications. Site designers usually aren't very aware of that aspect, they don't beta test properly, they just throw stuff out there "because it worked on my machine".
are you saying opera, chrome, and firefox are crappy third party apps? safari is not 3rd party, btw.
and have you even been to beatport.com? if not, how can you say it's not a quality site? it's run and maintained by Native Instruments - one of the world's largest audio software companies. i would hardly call beatport a low quality site.
i was just using one good example. it seems that you are assuming i don't visit any other flash site besides beatport. i have trouble on every flash site out there.