Not meaning to accuse anyone of crying wolf here, but all the videos and pictures demonstrating this effect look to have the iPhone 4 held in a very specific and deliberate way. Obviously I'll have to wait until I can get my hands on one before I know for myself if it's a problem in everyday usage, but I've tried to hold my iPhone 3G this way and it feels awkward and unnatural - not to mention my palm gets in the way if I try to hold it to my ear to make a call.
Also, bars are not an absolute or even a relative measurement of signal strength between different devices. Saying that your 3GS stays on 5 bars before and after, while the iPhone 4 goes from 5 bars to 1 bar is a useless comparison. You should work out how to compare SNR and attenuation, as well as a whole series of speed tests between this and the 3GS. I'm sure Apple has done all of this and the net result is better, otherwise they would've scrapped this design.
It seems what we are seeing is the usual 'look for a problem and you'll find it' syndrome that happens with every new and exciting tech release. I second what a poster above said which is to just forget about it, use it naturally, and if it's a noticeable problem then to get a refund or do what you have to do.
Right, just like BP scrapped their drilling rig when they learned that there were some safety issues. Are you really that naive? Apple is in this business for money and money only. If they thought that they could get away with this flaw nothing could stop them. After all they overcharge customers on each and every item they sell.
Or like Apple scrapped one button mouse design immediately once they learned that everybody hated it.