Yeah, I'm sure we could all convince Apple to have a moratorium on adding new features to their OS for five years, so that peasants who can't keep up can stay 'current'. Again, for those with poor comprehension - Apple makes computers to make a profit, they build macOS to sell new Macs. They are not held back by offering a decade of compatibility with old machines. If you can't afford a new Mac every 5 years, please just do yourself a favour and jump into the slow lane of Windows, where you get a 'new' OS every 5 years that needs to be compatible with every poor POS out there that peasants use, so they can maximise sales of their OS. Just don't mind that every 3rd-world coder can write viruses and malware for such a wide-spread platform that needs to be constantly assessed for infection.
This is actually exquisite pastiche, bravo.