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secret fears of women
- Thread starter Salasm
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Despite the fact that the raw number of forcible rapes has decreased in number every year since 1992 while the population has increased?
I'm not saying rape isn't a crime or isn't real, far from it. I've had friends who've been raped (by people they knew, not strangers) but that's... two, in my entire lifetime, out of the hundreds of people I've known. It's a traumatic and unfair and ****ed up event. All of these things are true.
I just think the "unsafe world" phenomenon is more a product of a fear-mongering media than actual reality. However, you are right, I'm not a woman. I haven't been taught to fear all men and their uniformly evil intentions and utter lack of conscience.
as part of my practicum training, i work in a sexual offenders clinic, and believe u me there are a lot of violent sexual predators out there... and they come from every walk of life. we have lawyers, plumbers, mortgage agents, teachers, etc. who are all sex offenders.
i dont want to alarm people into thinking they will be raped any second, but 'prevention' (i.e. mace, walking in numbers, taking the middle subway car) is highly advised for women.
And what, ultimately are violence against women statistics based upon? Upon reported incidences (usually). And I wouldn't be surprised if fewer women were willing to report these things as everyone is so quick to lay blame on the victim and/or disbelieve them.
And I'm not surprised that you know women in your life who have experienced such unfortunate trauma. But do not, not even for a second, believe that those two incidences are the only two that have occurred to people you know. No way. There is so much stigma surrounding these issues, that few people will bother telling anyone else about it. Shame. Guilt. Fear.
Excuse me? Did I say that all men are whatever it is you said? No.I just think the "unsafe world" phenomenon is more a product of a fear-mongering media than actual reality. However, you are right, I'm not a woman. I haven't been taught to fear all men and their uniformly evil intentions and utter lack of conscience.
And you're right. You are not a woman.
And I wasn't taught to fear men-- at least not by other people. No.
I am by no means, some super hot woman with a hot body. No. And yet, in my limited time out and about, I've got a few stories of men (both strangers and those I knew) going way beyond their boundaries. And I don't doubt that other women have similar stories. So if you mean that women are taught by media or family to fear men? I don't agree with that at all. If on the other hand, you meant that real-life experiences in our own lives teaches us? Yes. I would agree to that.
Show some sensitivity! The fear of becoming a minstrel (a.k.a. pre-minstrel syndrome) is no laughing matter.
I see.I just think the "unsafe world" phenomenon is more a product of a fear-mongering media than actual reality. However, you are right, I'm not a woman. I haven't been taught to fear all men and their uniformly evil intentions and utter lack of conscience.
So you'd be a fan of removing all locks, since, well, most people aren't thieves. Likewise, why make everyone walk through metal detectors? I mean, surely, you can tell by looking if someone intends harm.
The point which you seem to miss is this: women don't think all men are rapists. But they aren't telepathic, don't know which men are potential rapists, are aware that most rapists are known to the victim, and that they are likely unable to effectively defend themselves against a larger and prepared assailant. So they keep themselves safe. Why? Because some men would rape them, and rape is a horrible crime.
Most lions won't attack and eat people unless provoked. If I were to drop you near a pride of lions in the Serengeti, would the knowledge that you're probably not going to be attacked help you to sleep better? No.
I fear not being able to find a good and loving husband who would make a great father.
I fear my next period.
I fear my next period.
There's a difference between being aware of fear and choosing to live your life under it. I just find it better to assume I'm NOT going to suffer a horrible fate, much like I prefer to assume I'm handsome, intelligent, and charming. I find it difficult to operate under the opposite assumptions.
i would love to live in the same universe you do where me having a penis means i no longer need to worry about the above.
My woman fears that I might actually spend my own money on something I want, and will then strike fear in me that she will mentally beat me up for buying said product...
In general, I think women fear men who spend money
In general, I think women fear men who spend money
Also is this "fear of getting raped" thing really that widespread? Do many women just assume men they don't know are rapists?
It is widespread. I usually don't fear men I don't know, unless they look really unclean and dirty.
You just have to be real careful.
Maybe I'm not the average man, but I have those same fears about my wife, mom, and sisters and will about my daughter. Whenever my wife goes outside at night, even if it is just to grab something from the car, I get worried if she isn't back within a few minutes.
I probably shouldn't worry so often, but there are too many people for whom there is too little deterrant to prevent them from doing things they shouldn't.
What a strange understatement of precaution.
Such that:
killmoms said:Do many women just assume men they don't know are rapists?
It's a question of your potential, not your identity. The presumption is not that you're a rapist, the presumption is that there are rapists. To presume otherwise would be as foolhardy as making an implicit comparison between one's own faux-offense and a crime of personal devastation.
I don't assume that EVERYONE is a potential murderer or the like. I just err on the side of caution.
and it's not like I go around macing everyone in sight! (I've maced myself twice accidentally, I know that stuff is smarts.) I just clutch it in my hand at parties where I don't know anyone, at gas stations (day or night), walking to my car at night from the library on campus, on campus if I'm on it and it's dark... situations I don't feel comfortable in.
I learned all my self-defense from pablo francisco.
and it's not like I go around macing everyone in sight! (I've maced myself twice accidentally, I know that stuff is smarts.) I just clutch it in my hand at parties where I don't know anyone, at gas stations (day or night), walking to my car at night from the library on campus, on campus if I'm on it and it's dark... situations I don't feel comfortable in.
I learned all my self-defense from pablo francisco.
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OK I'd like to say something I can't back up with any stats or evidence and probably haven't even thought through, so might retract it later when someone with a bigger brain quotes me and makes me look stoopider;
NOt really sure what the point I'm trying to make is, but I'm sure there's one there that is worth making.
I'm thinking mainly about 'date rape' here, rather than 'bloke in bushes waiting in shadows with the intention to attack rape', but I often wonder if the over-powering thing makes men seem more predatory than women, I don't doubt they have the phyisical characteristics to be more effective predators, but I wonder if there's as big a difference in the intention as the successful execution.
Again I'm fully aware this isn't the clearest post, but there's something meaningful knocking around in my head trying to get out, I'll edit it later if I get further info from my brain to my fingers.
Also this is being posted from a PC, not my Mac, so no spell check, sorry
I'd agree, but obviously the victim doesn't know them as a rapist until they're raped. I'd take this one step further and say most rapists aren't know to the rapist themselves until they've raped, maybe not even then in some cases.
NOt really sure what the point I'm trying to make is, but I'm sure there's one there that is worth making.
OK here I'm going to agree again, but I've got a bit of a problem with the 'prepared' bit in connection to my above, albeit unsharpened point.
I'm thinking mainly about 'date rape' here, rather than 'bloke in bushes waiting in shadows with the intention to attack rape', but I often wonder if the over-powering thing makes men seem more predatory than women, I don't doubt they have the phyisical characteristics to be more effective predators, but I wonder if there's as big a difference in the intention as the successful execution.
Again I'm fully aware this isn't the clearest post, but there's something meaningful knocking around in my head trying to get out, I'll edit it later if I get further info from my brain to my fingers.
Also this is being posted from a PC, not my Mac, so no spell check, sorry
I know exactly what you are saying, if the wife doesn't answer her cell phone for a while- I worry, there is just too much crap that goes on for one not to worry.
I know a girl or two who could kiss my arse...and I'm not a weak guy(not super strong just kind of big)...hell she could rape me! (I think!)
OK I'd like to say something I can't back up with any stats or evidence and probably haven't even thought through, so might retract it later when someone with a bigger brain quotes me and makes me look stoopider;
I'd agree, but obviously the victim doesn't know them as a rapist until they're raped. I'd take this one step further and say most rapists aren't know to the rapist themselves until they've raped, maybe not even then in some cases.
NOt really sure what the point I'm trying to make is, but I'm sure there's one there that is worth making.
OK here I'm going to agree again, but I've got a bit of a problem with the 'prepared' bit in connection to my above, albeit unsharpened point.
I'm thinking mainly about 'date rape' here, rather than 'bloke in bushes waiting in shadows with the intention to attack rape', but I often wonder if the over-powering thing makes men seem more predatory than women, I don't doubt they have the phyisical characteristics to be more effective predators, but I wonder if there's as big a difference in the intention as the successful execution.
Again I'm fully aware this isn't the clearest post, but there's something meaningful knocking around in my head trying to get out, I'll edit it later if I get further info from my brain to my fingers.
Also this is being posted from a PC, not my Mac, so no spell check, sorry
i think what makes men more predatory than women has to do with hormones. since rape is essentially a young man's game, i would hypothesize that testosterone is the main driving force behind the act of rape. as men get older, and their levels of testosterone lower, the incidents of rape decreases substantially. there are exceptions of course, like environmental factors and what not.
additionally, from a biological standpoint, men have millions upon millions of sperm, whereas women have just a few eggs, and are bridled with 7-9 months gestation. thus, the male species is inclined to procreate as much as possible to spread their seed, whereas females are concerned about security and monogamy to protect them while theyre pregnant. thus, i believe it's human nature for men to desire every single piece of ace they can because it's hardwired. add that to a violent temperment and u get a rapist!
however, what do you make of all the female teachers seducing (and i guess raping) the young boys they teach?
hey hey hey, don't diss my interest in reproduction dude!
prince! i didnt diss your interest in reproduction... in fact i said men want to reproduce as much as possible!