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secret fears of women
- Thread starter Salasm
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Male animals want to reproduce as much as possible.
Male humans, at least consciously, tend to want to avoid reproduction.
Anyway, I don't consider rape to be a violent attempt at reproduction, nor do I think it's in any way tied into a sexual urge (in any healthy sense of the term). It's an act of dominance and anger.
At the risk of steering this thread back to its original intentions, I don't think women fearing rape is the least bit secret. It's well-known that most women fear it happening to them.
What make the thread more interesting is if we heard of some secret fears besides the lame ones the original poster came up with. Seriously, has anyone figured out what he meant by "minstrel"?
i mispoke, i meant the act of reproduction, meaning sex. ive seen maury povich too many times to witness men praying the child isn't theirs.
rape being a sexual urge (biological) and dominance-anger are not mutually exclusive concepts. rape is the dominance-anger manifested in a sexual way. i was speaking from a biological standpoint.
Weren't they those musicians who went around during the Renaissance times, playing little guitars and singing funky songs?
I think the original poster is claiming with the proto-feminist role model of the superwoman, who by definition straddles equally both sides of masculine/feminine or butch/femme dialectics...the act of becoming a model/actor of what would be considered "classical femininity" is, in fact, a self-degredation...in so much that her performance as "classical woman" would roughly correspond to racist portrayals by white-male performers in the blackface minstrel shows from 1800's though "Amos and Andy".
I'm definitely not trivialising any concerns that women might have, but to say that men don't have to think about these issues either would not be correct. While male on female sex crimes are probably higher than male on male sex crimes, I would think that male on male regular violence is probably higher still. And a lot of the time, the violence is quite arbitrary. I heard from a lot of guys in alternative scenes, who dress a little different, who have been physically attacked because of it. And let's not forget the men who have been gay bashed because they look gay.
I think that the person you replied to was saying that reported rates were decreasing. Now, I think we all know that reported rates are always lower than actual rates, but I doubt that the ratio of reported rates to actual rates has gotten worse in the last few years.
Interesting thread.
1. I'm cool with becoming like my mother in some ways, not in others.
2. Like God cares?
3. This does ring true, especially understanding that luck and sanity is a thin line separating "them" from "us". So even though I'm nowhere near poverty, I do acknowledge the precarious nature of "normalcy".
4. I'm more afraid of being alone and infirm than old per se.
I can see where you are going with this though. In cultures where a woman's worth is solely projected into her being a breeding machine, a sexual commodity, it takes a strong person to disengage from that game. I'm working on it.
Re: the whole rape thing. Not so secret fear. I'd go further into locating this as a fear of male anger, period.
1. I'm cool with becoming like my mother in some ways, not in others.
2. Like God cares?
3. This does ring true, especially understanding that luck and sanity is a thin line separating "them" from "us". So even though I'm nowhere near poverty, I do acknowledge the precarious nature of "normalcy".
4. I'm more afraid of being alone and infirm than old per se.
I can see where you are going with this though. In cultures where a woman's worth is solely projected into her being a breeding machine, a sexual commodity, it takes a strong person to disengage from that game. I'm working on it.
Re: the whole rape thing. Not so secret fear. I'd go further into locating this as a fear of male anger, period.
I find it downright terrifying how many women I know have been raped, I'm only 18 but so far 6 women have told me they have been and I know of 4 others via friends. Only one went to the police about it and nothing was ever done about it, she had to move country and change name to escape this man.
It really makes me sick.
The number of times anyone's touched me without my permission? in my lifetime I couldn't put a number on it. in the last 6 months say? twice it's been serious, and countless times someone's "coped a feel".
Statistics probably are falling but we're still right to be fearful.
It really makes me sick.
The number of times anyone's touched me without my permission? in my lifetime I couldn't put a number on it. in the last 6 months say? twice it's been serious, and countless times someone's "coped a feel".
Statistics probably are falling but we're still right to be fearful.
I don't assume that EVERYONE is a potential murderer or the like. I just err on the side of caution.
and it's not like I go around macing everyone in sight! (I've maced myself twice accidentally, I know that stuff is smarts.) I just clutch it in my hand at parties where I don't know anyone, at gas stations (day or night), walking to my car at night from the library on campus, on campus if I'm on it and it's dark... situations I don't feel comfortable in.
I learned all my self-defense from pablo francisco.
exactly. as I can see Killmoms pt that its not cool to label every guy as a rapist but I agree with katie. better to be prepared and have protection and not use it than not have protection and need it.
however as far as the avg guy walking outside, i know i get alot more cautious at night for my own safety as well. i think that was a very very naive comment that guys dont have to worry.
any shady group of people you encounter at night, esp guys will harass a single guy i guarantee it. heck even on college campuses because people get bold when they are in a group.
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:car salesman voice: That's why I recommend guns.
And hey, if you're cute enough, the cops may not even care that you killed someone.
Awesome.
:car salesman voice: With the right gun, you'd feel safe almost anywhere.
What you're trying to say is that chicks need guns, but they fear them. 'Cause they know the gun was invented for violence- and being reasonable- they don't want to be in a prepared state of or for violence. It's their special catch 22.
Totally. In fact just last night I was in line to get into a pub/club, and was talking to some girls behind the guys behind me. It got lame talking over the guys, so I said why not come up here with me. Now I know that no one likes getting budged in front of in line, but we were all like 2 minutes away from getting in. So the one guy freaks out. I tell him to calm down, and he starts getting a crazy look in his eye. Within 30 seconds him and I are at the front of the line, right in the entrance way. The bouncer asks us to step back from the door, and the guys freaks out at him. So the bouncers pushes him all the way off the sidewalk onto his ass, and tells him to go away. The crazed guy comes back and starts randomly hitting people. He wasn't even looking at me and I got punched twice. Some guy near me got hit in the back of the head. So the bouncer pushes him away again and called the cops.
And just a few days earlier, I went to a stagette party, and my friend who got there earlier called me and told me that there was some massive bar fight going on.
This type of violence is now so prevalent, that a lot of clubs pay to have a couple of police standing at the door by the bouncer, ready to arrest anyone getting out of hand.
My mace is a little smaller and sleeker.
That one looks too heavy to pick up.
Even if it's a completely false sense, I feel a little more secure with it. I know that I can temporarily disable someone and have time to get away from whatever situation I'm in. Makes me feel a little better.
I find it safe to assume the same for myself, as long as I stay the hell away from mirrors or anything with a reflection.
When you die, all muscles in your body relax. This includes your sphincter muscles, which hold in feces and urine. If there is anything in the bladder or large intestine, it will come out once the sphincter muscles relax.
P.S. I'm a hit at parties.
But which one is more intimidating?
Although, carrying said mace may get you arrested. (Actually, it may be worth mentioning that carrying any mace in the US is against the law - what you've got is pepper spray).
I fear not being able to marry any person I wish to marry because some people decided that their personal beliefs overrule my rights.
This is what stacking Nuvarings/birth control is for. Or Seasonale. Or Lybrel, if FDA approved, will be the first hormonal contraceptive where you only get one period a year. Yes, one. Check out the menstrual cup as well, if you hate your period so muchI fear my next period.
http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups/ and http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina/ are two great places to start.
I'm cynical. Having taken enough psych classes, I know about the bystander effect/diffusion of responsibility and conformity all too well. Taking into account that groups of people working together being influenced by each other are more dangerous than one person alone, and even with bystanders there observing what's going on, they might not all help.
This just means it's not a bad idea to have a way to protect oneself from such possible threats when possible.
I know women who carry tazers in their purses for when they have to walk back home at night after work
I really do not mean to trivialise what you have said at all. But look at it from a male perspective. What are you supposed to do? Ask "Excuse me, do you mind if I touch you?" Does not work
. You have to go by body language. Unfortunately when you are drunk it is often easy to misread or imagine these signs and then do it anyway.I'm not saying it is right by any means just that often it is not meant in the way that many women imagine.
It's rude.But look at it from a male perspective. What are you supposed to do? Ask "Excuse me, do you mind if I touch you?" Does not work
I would not go fling myself on a guy or a girl or anyone else and start making out with them cause they just looked like they were interested.
Regardless of the perspective.