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Sexual Orientation
- Thread starter catfish743
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This reminds me a bit of what my mother used to say ... "If you've got nothing good to say about something, say nothing" ... which is what I used to do when it came to talking about my weekend, or who I spent time with etc ...
The issue is that straight people broadcast their sexuality all the time, through routine conversation, talking about what they did with their significant other over the weekend, parties that they went to, plans for dinner later on and so forth.
By keeping such a large part of your life a secret, you run the risk of seeming aloof when mixing with your straight friends and colleagues that aren't aware of your sexuality. Also they eventually come to the conclusion that you're gay anyway.
Once I started talking about what I was doing with my partner, by name, and treating it just like the rest of the people, I became more open to my colleagues and friends and better regarded in the process. Its a huge burden that comes off your shoulders when you make it "their problem" if they don't like the fact that you're gay.
One thing that has become apparent for me is that when I treat my sexuality like there's something "wrong" with it and keep it a secret then there is something wrong and others react accordingly. If I treat my sexuality as if it's perfectly normal that's also the reaction I get from others.
Just my 2 cents - I hope it helps.
BT
Very good point. I hope that in time society can reach a point where everyone's head doesn't turn when a male voice says the words "my boyfriend" during normal conversation. Enough of the stares. Enough of the hate. It's just not worth it. I don't judge straight people for what they do with their sex lives, nor should they judge us. They just can't seem to understand that. *shrug*
This hasn't been my experience at all. I live in "Hetroheights" about 5 miles from the gay village in Toronto, ALL of our neighbours are straight, and we've been openly gay the entire time, and socialize with them. I think some of them might mind, but for the most part we are just "out there" and for the most part there's no judgement.
We also now have a 6 month old son, and even more the recluse neighbours come out to see him - all is as normal as we could expect here in Hetroheights, and we're no more liked or disliked than any of the other neighbours - and like anything in life there's always a few a$$holes around but that's not a sexuality issue.
BT
In the best possible way, I envy you. I'm currently single, but in past relationships or even just random conversation, if I say anything that indicates my sexuality, I get stares and usually sounds of disgust, and that's only the people who aren't direct in coming out and saying I'm a nasty person for being gay. I don't want to blame it all on living in the south, but still... I've always wondered what it would be like to be somewhere I could feel safe in going out with a significant other without worrying about it being obvious we're a couple. You just can't do that here in Texas.
There are definitely queer friendly neighborhoods in Dallas! I have a few friends from Dallas, and they were very mad at me for not going to the bars they told me about when I was there on business!
Are you over 21? If so, next time I see my friends I will ask for specific names and areas, and let you know...unless you already know these areas and just aren't much for the bar/club scene. Which I understand.
Could you move somewhere else?
Dallas has what's known as the Oak Lawn/Cedar Springs area, previously affectionately known as The Village. And no, I'm not in the bar or club scene, though the area is somewhat comforting to spend a little time in. I've yet to actually visit the clubs, but walking in the bookstore or video store, or even clothing shops in the area, and seeing gay couples shopping together is like a breath of fresh air. It's nice to know that at least somewhere we can be "normal" and know that there's nothing wrong with us. It's just everywhere else in the world that becomes a problem.
Moving has always been a goal of mine, but work and school keep me anchored here for now. I don't want to live down here forever.
Move to NYC, LA, Chicago or San Fran. The first time I visited Chicago, I was convinced to move. Get out of there and find out what it's like to live somewhere where people aren't going to look at you funny or give you any crap. It's an awesome feeling.
One I look forward to in the future. But I refuse to move simply to have the ability to hold hands in public. Yes, I should be able to be with the man I love (when I find said man) out in front of people without having to worry about what might happen, but I won't base my life around it. I refuse to let all my decisions be based around one factor of my life.
You're just horny.
Go have a cold shower.
If that were a valid solution, I'd never leave the shower.
You would when your knees started to buckle.
I thought that was the point about having a cold shower
to stop all the knee buckling stuff.
It may have been a while, but my knees are very sturdy. Good for bending, kneeling, and other various knee related activities. I'd be fine.
Sometimes the stupidity of people just cracks me up...
People of Lesbos take gay group to court over term 'Lesbian'
People of Lesbos take gay group to court over term 'Lesbian'
Eh I suppose I'm bisexual, I generally lean more towards girls and have never done anything with guys besides makeout with one and that was without choice, but if the right guy came along then I'm not going to restrict myself from going for him. So I don't really exercise my bisexuality but it is there.
straight, married - and still fond of Apple computers
Relax.
Contrary to the tone of this thread, they are not mutually inclusive.
Relax.
Contrary to the tone of this thread, they are not mutually inclusive.
LOL! thanks! figgered someone would like that!
I used to say the same thing, but I got sick of constantly having to explain myself all the time. Sometimes you just gotta go where you'll be happiest.