I've been really down ever since I found out.
I know this likely sounds really stupid, but I'll say it anyway: I just can't get over the fact that he's no longer here, no longer
actively in the present sharing his ideas. One day he was here, sitting at a desk putting his thoughts together or advising senior employees, and in the next moment that life was snuffed out. No more voice. No more running a good or bad ideas across him.
Whenever I use my iPad, I start thinking about future versions...the iPad 5, 6, and it kind of freaks me out that he won't be able to see any of that (though I know he had years of plans ready, it's not the same as him delivering the keynote and watching fans use the final versions). It all seems very surreal. He's always been here as long as I've been alive, so there's this disconnect in my head now. Logically, I know life is short, people die (I lost a very close family member relatively recently), but it's still very difficult for me to digest that they're both gone.
I feel kind of dumb about this because it's not like I ever met him. I admired him greatly like an idol/mentor, but it's not like I even wanted a job like his; rather, I admired his work ethic, philosophy, and ingenuity, and he inspired me to apply some of his tenets to my own life and career choice. So I'm pretty upset about this, and I'm surprised at how upset I am. Maybe it's because that very close family member and I used to bond over Apple products and watch the keynotes?

Still can't believe it.