@Bacillus, your "office chats" are way too elaborate. I'd imagine them to look more like this.
Tim: It's been another great year for us and our shareholders. I even figured out how to avoid paying tax. We're going to buy Ireland. Problem = solved.
Eddy: Y'alls, I am so rich now! I'm going to buy even more chest-showing shirts!
Angela: Oh, stop with the bloody shirts, Eddy, we are working here. So. Back to important stuff. Have you seen the trees I picked for Apple?
Eddy: For Apple what?
Angela: I told you they aren't called stores anymore. For Apple... experiences. But don't call them that either.
Tim: Let's agree to Apple Apples.
Jony: I haven't heard anything you just said but look at my sketch of a new chair for the Campus!
Tim: We already got chairs for the Campus.
Jony: They're not thin enough.
Eddy: This doesn't look comfortable.
Jony: Like I give two *****.
Tim: Let's focus on our pipeline for 2017. First, the important products: iPhone 7s. Jony, get to work on iHump 7s. Then iPad Pro Mini Plus Large S. Is this ready?
Jony: Still too thick. Sorry.
Eddy: Yay! I just secured an exclusive for Apple Music!
Angela: Will that exclusive look good next to my Louis Vu... Apple Apples?
Eddy: It will have lots of rappers and swearing in it. And possibly cars. Expensive cars.
Angela: Ah, expensive, I like that. Make sure they are all rose gold. And give the rappers rose gold chains.
Tim: PIPELINE, guys, pipeline.
Jony: My car doesn't fit in the pipeline. It actually got stuck in it. We have to abandon the project for now. It's people's fault though. They're not thin enough so I had to make the car bigger. Couldn't sleep all night. But the plumber is on his way. And I've got a dedicated team working on making humans smaller.
Phil: Guys. I need something to market. I'm the marketing president. Give me something to market.
Tim: You have a Touch Bar, price increases and the best iPhone since the previous iPhone. Isn't that enough? And especially improved bump. I mean hump. I mean CAMERA. Jesus, what is it with me today?
Jony: Actually I've been thinning we could remove the camera and make iPhone 7s thinner...
Angela: Thinking.
Jony: What are you thinking?
Angela: No, you should have said thinking.
Tim: That reminds me. I've been thinking I said we will show a lot of love to the Macs this year.
*raucuous laughter*
Jony: The new wallpapers with hearts on them for macOS Yeehaw are almost ready.
Tim: Very good. I think this was a very fruitful meeting for all of us. Let's give ourselves a bonus, shall we?
Eddy: I can't believe nobody complimented my new shirt yet.
Tim: Actually, why haven't we invited Craig?
Eddy: Craig really gets on my nerves with this talk about new software and stability and stuff. When the intern finishes macOS Yeehaw Craig can go onstage and talk about it. Anyway, I think we're done. I have to go talk to Drake.
Angela: I agree. Gotta go too, I have Apple Watches to arrange in a new ironic shape.
Jony: Aluminium, everyone.
*everybody* Aluminium, Jony.