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Women don't fart

Hmmmm... I can tell you that girls sure do fart and do number 2s. My girlfriend is a nurse and let me tell you, there's nothing nurses (especially student nurses) like to talk about more than poo. We've had discussions on how different people poo, wipe, consistency, everything.

Basically, girls do much smaller poos but more often, hence only a few minutes. Guys do honking great big poos and generally take reading material / laptops to the toilet with them. My girlfriend is shocked at the size of my poos (which I've often had to describe to her). Ahhh the joys of going out with a nurse!!
 
My wife has a special talent.. she can burp and fart at the same time.

I don't know what's worse..her farts or that polonium found on the planes.. I think I'll take the polonium anyday :eek:

And yes, she was very 'lady like' before we got married. Lol.. you women are such scamsters
 
D0ct0rteeth said:
Yes, they do.

Especially pregnant woman - they make some guys look like rookies.

- D0c
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I can attest to that. Poor hubby.... :D

You just can't help it. The digestive system is working more slowly so the gasses just build up and you don't very well want to keep it all in. It's already uncomfortable enough having all your organs compressed by the growing alien in your belly. So out they come as some fearsome burps and/or farts. After eating some soup yesterday I let out a burp where I could have recited the alphabet...twice!
 
Abstract said:
I'd probably try to hold it in until I was alone before I did so, and if I couldn't, then I'd do it if I knew it was going to be a quiet, "unscented" one.
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What happens if and when you guys start living together and sleeping in the same bed? You're not going to be able to train yourself not to fart in your sleep! You may as well get used to it... once you get past the "ewwe factor" it becomes second nature.

My boyfriend and I don't look at it as something to be ashamed of... it's more comical than anything... my man not only farts around me - he's been known to pin my down and fart on me! (ewwwwwwe!)... he seems to find it funny... it's gross but we always have a good laugh at it.

anyways... my point is - you should be able to share everything with that special someone and you shouldn't have to hide things from them... especially things that are beyond your control!
 
wimic said:
What happens if and when you guys start living together and sleeping in the same bed? You're not going to be able to train yourself not to fart in your sleep!
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We do sleep in the same bed. I haven't noticed any farting, but I'm going to pay more attention now thanks to you. ;)


And I know it's a natural process, but I still think it's a bit rude/inconsiderate if I don't at least try to resist "letting the bomb drop". I don't mind rude things and tend to keep my attitude and relationships a bit light, but there are SOME things I try to keep to myself because of my opinion that farting and burping whenever you want is rude, even in front of your loved ones. I don't really want to be seen as Homer Simpson. His behaviour on the show is to be mocked, really.
 
wimic said:
What happens if and when you guys start living together and sleeping in the same bed? You're not going to be able to train yourself not to fart in your sleep!
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*groan* My ex's guy friend would fart all the time... so you'd think he'd be able to relieve all his gas while awake, but no, he'd let some crazy farts rip while he was sleeping! :eek: Never safe from him.

wimic said:
My boyfriend and I don't look at it as something to be ashamed of... it's more comical than anything...

anyways... my point is - you should be able to share everything with that special someone and you shouldn't have to hide things from them... especially things that are beyond your control!
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I agree. But it's still rather embarrassing... :eek: I blame that on internalized social norms (it's often okay for men but not for women, etc.).
 
Strangely, this now comes to mind. Maybe Abstract should pass it along to his gf...
 

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Abstract said:
And I know it's a natural process, but I still think it's a bit rude/inconsiderate if I don't at least try to resist "letting the bomb drop". I don't mind rude things and tend to keep my attitude and relationships a bit light, but there are SOME things I try to keep to myself because of my opinion that farting and burping whenever you want is rude, even in front of your loved ones. I don't really want to be seen as Homer Simpson. His behaviour on the show is to be mocked, really.
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I'm on the same page with you here. I don't let it rip around everyone and treat it like an accomplishment, like some people do, but rather prefer to be discreet, and appreciate the same from others. But yeah, still usually laugh when whatever happens.
 
freeny said:
They are their own Dutch oven;)
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Would it be too riské, to propose that we brainstorm for a specific term for this phenomenon?

- Muslim oven
- Burqa bum burp oven
- الهولنديه فرن ("dutch oven" in the google english to arabic translator)
- Caliphate caliente cooker (don't ask me why I added Spanish)
 
Being Dutch, I had to look it up....

Farts can bring more excitement into wedlock if administered in a Dutch Oven2: this is where one partner lets go a huge fart, pulls the duvet cover or bed sheets over the head of their loved one, trapping them in a confusion of methane, while shouting triumphantly, 'Dutch oven! Dutch oven!' The person trapped will wriggle like an eel, the trapper will then nearly die laughing and it will all end up in a really boisterous play fight. Of course, this is all in questionable taste.
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A673508 (really credit to the BBC..? :D )

Man, how our nation has become famous! :p :D :eek:
 
My girl hides it until she takes a shower. That way I don't know or so she thinks. it's a weird kinda because I grew up with three sisters who were nun to shy to share themselves so to have a girl that is very secretive about it is interesting.
 
poppe said:
My girl hides it until she takes a shower. That way I don't know or so she thinks. it's a weird kinda because I grew up with three sisters who were nun to shy to share themselves so to have a girl that is very secretive about it is interesting.
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Great. Now we have farting nuns. Bad habit, I'd say.
 
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