I don't care how slick Apple's marketing team is, the new iPhone unveil this fall is going to be a snooze-fest (as another put it here already). I'll save you the time and give you a sneek preview:
"wooo-woooo-woooooo obnoxious crowd screaming when lights dim and some cheesy U2 song is playing in background"
- Tim Cook appears. Slow starting speech. Announces how successful iOS is yet again for the millionth time. Praising App Store success, apps being downloaded more than McDonald's being served. Compares to competitors and how iOS still dominates everything (but in reality, it is just not true). Begins to compliment how successful Apple Music is and how it enables listening to music in new ways (ooooh aaaah). Talks about how great apple stores are and opening another one in vietnam. Blah blah blah, more slow un-titalating speeches about how great apple is. Trying to distort reality but his abilities are really not at the jedi master level yet.
- Then of course Phil comes on stage. Bam, talks about improving iPhone Xs. How great the iPhone XS Max is (and it is a nice phone). Then talks about how crappy passwords are and how millions don't lock their devices and the need to improve FaceID. Introduces iPhone 11 - new enhanced LCD screen design, talks on and on about how it's so great. How others failed and how Apple succeeded. Goes on to introduce iPhone 11 Pro itself and the new processors, updated camera, and the same old shhhhh as the iPhone Xs. How great the new screen is and how the new 11 Pro camera can shoot dazzling video.
- More features shown on iphone 11 Pro camera, comparisons to other cameras, knocking on Samsung faux 40+ MP camera. Then the biggest surprise, new matte finish on select iPhone 11. Crowd goes bezerk.
- Tons of the same old same old same old presentation with the same product but trickled improvements from previous because who will buy an iPhone when they do everything now, they will milk everything slowly so they can call it an iPhone 12 next year.
So there you have it, sums up everything - you have seen the real deal already and unless there is an AMOLED 3D screen, some kind of super processor, or a huge battery pack, it's already all seen and done before.
You people who are doubting how boring this release is, come this tuesday, you will just clap away like a clown and smile then wait a week to order the SAME iPHONE Xs with an 11 instead and an extra camera.
(In case you couldn't tell, this was parody and I think Apple (and all of you Apple fans) are great. Just poking some fun at the yearly spectacle we call the iPhone fall preview event).