Apple's Siri Learns New Jokes

[DevNull0]

And in the meantime, google assistant is working on better speech recognition and more functionality.

Good job Timmy, way to focus on what maters.
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So, chatting to your phone is apparently a thing..

I guess people who don't have any humans in their life to chat with. Maybe Timmy really does know his market and this is why google needs to focus on getting stuff done while Apple focuses on making lonely people feel like they've got someone to talk to.

 

[macduke]

I’m convinced that each and every person on the Siri team hates us.

 

[laurim]

So, chatting to your phone is apparently a thing..



lol...ya i can tell

When I’m bored, yeah. I’ve done it sitting on the toilet or lying in bed not quite ready to sleep. For sh*ts and giggles trying to find an Easter egg I didn’t know about. I live alone so talking to Siri gives my cats a break and he speaks English (British English, btw)

 

[Michael Goff]

I’m sure everyone here realizes that this is just a quick change and doesn’t indicate that bigger changes that are going to take a while aren’t going to happen. Like, that both can be true.

 

[macduke]

I decided to try it out and this honestly just happened. My wife is sitting next to me and she says I didn’t say anything like what Siri said I said. I said “Dwayne who?” I’ve never heard of this song or band before in my life!

Side note: these jokes are terrible. Wow.

This screenshot sums up the state of Siri in 2018.

 

[brentonbrenton]

I’m sure everyone here realizes that this is just a quick change and doesn’t indicate that bigger changes that are going to take a while aren’t going to happen. Like, that both can be true.

Both CAN be true. But we can only judge the Siri team on what they're ACTUALLY delivering. We could speculate they are working on Siri washing my car. But until it happens, it means nothing.

 

[macsrcool1234]

siri itself is a joke

 

[DeepIn2U]

That’s very useful. Thanks Apple. /s

I've got 14oz boxing gloves ... just point me to whomever at Apple wasted their paycheque on stupid jokes when an AI used to make jokes cannot help sell a brand new HomePod product be useful as an AI connected speaker? They need to be KNOCKED the F OUT!

Seriously this is just stupid use of resources ... improve Siri's jokes and not what Siri can do to help a new product?
Well if teens are planning to buy a new iPhone when they upgrade in millions then I guess there is NO incentive for Apple to improve Siri ... because well teens are the majority purchaser of Apple products.
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Geez. Let the developers have a little fun here and there. Adding these few extra responses probably took them an hour, if that.
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Ditto. Guess we don’t mumble. I use Siri all the time to operate my home automation stuff (“hey Siri! Lights, Camera, Action!” makes my projector turn on, lights off and the screen comes down “Hey, Siri! Bedtime!” Turns off projector, rolls screen up and turns on the lamp next to my bed), set alarms and timers (great when I grill a steak, 3 minutes per side), do hands-free calculations (“Hey, Siri! What’s half of 6 and 3/4 inches?”), make calls, etc etc

No we shouldn't let their developers have a little fun.

Those features you're speaking of have been there for over 2yrs now ... I personally have yet to have anything in my home connected yet soon will. It's going to be nice ... but with no major improvements you need to ask yourself are you really satisfied now ... and going to be in 4yrs from now if Siri just doesn't improve except in telling more lame jokes?!

Siri is supposed to be more than an assistant for tasks. May not be so important to you or the high end Apple die-hard but to someone with physical difficulties and challenges ... I want Siri and FaceID improve by leaps and bounds!! We see the benefits of the real hard work that Apple developers put into HomeKit for this simple aspect: Accessibility. HomeKit wasn't just created so you can turn on and off your lights or control iTunes just cause someone is simply too lazy to pickup their remote (and no searing steak is important yet not going to stop you from 10 seconds using a remote).

That's what I think most of are getting at and furious at.

 

[haruhiko]

Siri itself is a joke.
(Oh.. I’m late)

 

[Michael Goff]

Both CAN be true. But we can only judge the Siri team on what they're ACTUALLY delivering. We could speculate they are working on Siri washing my car. But until it happens, it means nothing.

You don’t hire the head of Google’s AI if you think a Siri that tells jokes is the goal.

 

[danielsutton]

HomePod sales are likely crashing and mean while, Siri is learning new jokes...........my oh my. Its becoming outright sad now.

Siri says: "Did you hear the one about the crashing HomePod Sales??!" <ba-dum CHING!>

 

[jarman92]

So a bit off-topic, but does anyone find the iOS 11 Siri voice far worse and robotic-sounding than the previous version? The actual voice is better but the way she pauses and adds emphasis is horrible and annoying...

 

[aloshka]

Well I clearly have some setting disabled. Every time I ask to tell me a joke he says "two iphones walk into a bar, i forget the rest" or responds with "i don't know of any good jokes". And that's it. I tried a good 10 times, same two responses.

 

[jarman92]

I’m sure everyone here realizes that this is just a quick change and doesn’t indicate that bigger changes that are going to take a while aren’t going to happen. Like, that both can be true.

Maybe...but the fact that anyone finds this important enough to bother with is concerning by itself. This was “cute” in 2012; now it’s sad.

 

[Michael Goff]

Maybe...but the fact that anyone finds this important enough to bother with is concerning by itself. This was “cute” in 2012; now it’s sad.

MacRumors would report on what Tim Cook eats if it could get clicks.

 

[e-coli]

This is a terrible headline for Apple. It’s completely tone deaf. Siri is the most maddening thing about Apple products. Glad to see they’ve been busy putting high priority fixes in there.

 

[Swampthing]

Amazon’s Alexa tells much better jokes. These are absolutely terrible. Time to hire new writers.

 

[TheSkywalker77]

Mmmmm yes, focus on a feature only children will use Apple. Great idea!!! /s

 

[Packers1958]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs who?
You're fired.

 

[fmalloy]

New Siri jokes. Wow. I’m sure the millions they’re paying this new AI genius big shot is worth every penny.

 

[MartiNZ]

I feel like it is poignant having this piece right next to the lacklustre homepod sales.

 

[simonmet]

These “jokes” suck even more than Siri!

 

[Mashurrab]

Apple takes everything very seriously.

With all the new jokes, this comment should be written like this:

Apple takes everything very Siri-ously

 

[brentonbrenton]

You don’t hire the head of Google’s AI if you think a Siri that tells jokes is the goal.

I agree. But it does highlight two points. 1) Apple has only now pulled such a high profile hire to the Siri team, realizing now (years later since Siri was unveiled) the service isn't good enough 2) It had to hire from outside, no one inside Apple was good enough to fill the role required.

 

[springsup]

In other news, I just learned that if you say "**** you" to Siri, it responds by saying, "I'd never speak to you that way."

I'm sure that's among the top 10 Siri requests.