We all need to be patient...
I successfully ordered my phones via the AT&T website at 3:58am EST after repeatedly trying to place an order since 3am (when the launch began).
Shortly thereafter, I received a confirmation message stating that my phones would ARRIVE on September 21.
However, my orders still show as pending and back ordered via the AT&T order status website.
I called the online orders customer service number at AT&T and was extremely polite with the representative I spoke to. I started by apologizing for adding to the iPhone 5 drama with my call, and I sympathized with her that I'm sure things are crazy for them right now.
We have to remember that there are literally millions of phones being shipped out for these orders.
I calmly explained that I simply wanted to confirm with her that my phones would be delivered to me on the 21st as stated in my confirmation email.
The representative explained to me that there is a window of time on the 14th within which you needed to have your CREDIT CARD PREAUTHORIZATION in order for your phones to be delivered on the 21st or 22nd. That window goes from 3am EST until shortly after noon EST.
In my case, like I said, I placed my order at 3:58am EST, but my credit card preauth didn't go through until shortly after 10am. Who knows what caused the delay... Regardless, mine went through within the window, and she stated that I should expect my phone to arrive as stated in my confirmation email.
She also went on to explain that there are 2 separate warehouses from which the iPhones will be delivered from AT&T. She explained that it looks like my phones are located at the warehouse in Texas, which is still processing its allotment of iPhone 5s. She stated that was the reason that my order status had not updated to reflect as "shipped" because they have yet to ship. This does not necessarily mean they wont ship in time for a Friday delivery - Texas isn't far away from Florida, and these orders will be shipped "priority" anyway, which is an overnight service.
So, if you placed your order during the early morning hours of Friday the 14th, and if your credit card was preauthorized before noon EST that same day, then you are most likely to receive your phone as stated in your confirmation message.
If your preauth did not go through prior to noon est, then your confirmation message likely states that your phone will arrive in 14-21 days. Unfortunately, that is when your phone will arrive.
So, basically - the best information is found in your confirmation message, irregardless of what the AT&T website says about your order status. The order status will be updated with shipping information as soon as your phone is shipped, and for a Friday delivery, shipments can go out as late as Thursday.
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. But, if I don't get my phone on Friday, life will continue to go on and I'll just have to deal with it.
In the mean time, go get iOS6 and install it on your current iPhone (if you have one). It's available as an update from iTunes or via your iPhone's settings menu, and it's essentially the same on the iPhone 4S as it will be on the iPhone 5 (aside from a larger screen). That should hold you over until your new iPhone arrives.