My roommate in college was like this and it ended up paying dividends for him. I don't know how he did it.
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Broke with my girlfriend
- Thread starter LordQ
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My roommate in college was like this and it ended up paying dividends for him. I don't know how he did it.
yea women love it. The moment they see you cry or crack they see you as weak. Weakness is such a turn off.
Yes, sir, that's completely right, that's why I am in pain, I failed to protect her, even if it was from me. We talked about this a lot and I put all my effort on changing that, and I thought we were doing a great job... And I'm not sure what follows since she told me that she wants to know she can trust in me but we won't be a together anytime soon.
I think you're doing a great job of admitting you are the problem. However, you're saying some things that continue to raise alarms.
For instance, the text above indicates that you see yourself as "the protector" instead of "the partner". You're not there to protect her. You're there to love and support her. She doesn't need a bodyguard. And when you become the reason to require one, then the whole relationship is ruined.
This isn't a "we" thing ... it's a "you" thing. Of course, in a really toxic relationship the woman can push buttons and goad you to anger, however, the responsibility for our actions and choices rests on us alone. And despite what you believe is your full effort, you continued to get into fights. It's pretty obvious that even more effort on your part was required.
What follows is you need to see that you behavior destroyed this relationship, and it will destroy future relationships unless you change. You cannot treat your partner like you do. You have to take a long, hard look at how you think and how you behave and change your bad partnering habits into good ones.
The good news is that people can achieve this. We are not prisoners of our thoughts and behavior. We do have the free will to change what we want to change, so long as we are honest with ourselves and tireless in our effort. Ultimately, you need to forget about the possibility of resurrecting this particular relationship and focus instead on changing yourself. I do wish you luck.
Thank you so much buddy. It's very hard, I really really miss her but I will try to do my best to change, to heal, to forgive myself and, if she wants, give it another slow try...
Am I missing something here? I've read through this thread and don't know where it was shown that the end of your relationship was your fault. If it's not too much trouble, would you mind quoting back a particularly illustrative post because I don't understand why you seem so guilty or why everybody is validating your guilt.
From what I've gathered, she simply is no longer interested, but I wouldn't mind being proven otherwise.
Yes, what you have assumed (that the OP has an anger problem and has picked numerous fights/arguments with his ex) is entirely possible. But, he has yet to actually confirm this fact. Carlos, what you stated previously, was that she said the reason for ending the relationship was because you "weren't there for her". Is that the case or, as Citizenzen has postulated, do you have an anger problem and has that been a continuous destructive factor in the relationship?
At the end you described a pretty heated "fight" by saying,
Outside of that you have only stated that you all had problems like every other couple that you were able to work out. I know you are blaming yourself for all of this, but for the sake of clarity, do you struggle with anger or being verbally aggressive?
For what its worth, I believe (in addition to some other things) she got tired of the long distance aspect of the relationship. That is what she was referring to, when she said you are never there for her.
The break up has been coming on for a while but, she didn't know, or was afraid to bring it up with you in such a direct manner. In my opinion, that is the core problem upon which the other peripheral side issues revolve around.
As hard and as hurtful it may be for you right now, I think you need to focus on yourself right now. Take inventory of your role and actions in the relationship, and work on not making the same mistakes in the future.
She has let you know, that the relationship is over as far as she is concerned.
Time to let it go.
Great advice^^^^
Get back in the gym and enjoy some smash bros, take the time to do some things for yourself by yourself.
Scribe is a lady.
Not all ladies act the same way. The same goes for men. The fact that you so readily devalue yourself and others in order to promote the id emphasis says a lot, in my opinion.
There is more to life than sex ( believe it or not). Having sex with strange women, as some kind of cathartic exercise over a broken relationship solves nothing other than feeding one's id, which is what you appear to be about.
A man that doesn't respect himself or a lady (which is the kind of action you are promoting, in my opinion) is a man that is blind and deaf, and also very lonely with himself.
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A man who cries at times is not a weak man. And any woman who sees weakness in one being open and vulnerable is the one that is weak, in my opinion.
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My Girlfriend did the same thing (say I was never there) even though we were together pretty much everyday and talked on Skype or Text when we werent....
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I have yet to find that to be true........
Physically present and emotionally present are two rather different things, and some men tend to confuse the two.
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Well, the sort of men who say that 'all women are the same' (which is as idiotic as a woman saying that all men are the same, when clearly they are not), may have had an unfortunate habit of being repeatedly attracted to the same sort of woman, which might mean a kind of endlessly repeating pattern in his relationships.
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There is no truth in logical fallacy. Keep that in mind the next time you start to make such statements (re: All women as the same).
1. A long distance relationship is a friendship with benefits.
2. You were no man enough for the relationship, you should have provide a safe shore, the foundations, the drama is for the women. It happen to all of us any way.
Leave her alone, she will be back in a year or so any way 100%. I am 40 and they all come back even out of curiosity. Out of every single girl I have met just one haven't come back. I had one that came back 10 years later and came to visit from another country, we met when we were exchange students 10 years before.
I have been 10 thousand times worse. I once lost a girl that two weeks later, because of the pain, I ended up with gastritis. I was only able to drink water for a year because it was so painful the physical pain of how I hurt I was. I cried for almost two years and bad, my pillows have wet spots of my tears still and I was 37. And I survived. And she was not the first pain I had but she was the worst.
In relationships we have to get to know ourselves first and quick. And learn our duty as men, we take the bullets, always. And keep our mouth shut.
2. You were no man enough for the relationship, you should have provide a safe shore, the foundations, the drama is for the women. It happen to all of us any way.
Leave her alone, she will be back in a year or so any way 100%. I am 40 and they all come back even out of curiosity. Out of every single girl I have met just one haven't come back. I had one that came back 10 years later and came to visit from another country, we met when we were exchange students 10 years before.
I have been 10 thousand times worse. I once lost a girl that two weeks later, because of the pain, I ended up with gastritis. I was only able to drink water for a year because it was so painful the physical pain of how I hurt I was. I cried for almost two years and bad, my pillows have wet spots of my tears still and I was 37. And I survived. And she was not the first pain I had but she was the worst.
In relationships we have to get to know ourselves first and quick. And learn our duty as men, we take the bullets, always. And keep our mouth shut.
Just to say to the OP, Mac geeks are probably the last people you want dating an relationship advice from
Did it ever occur to you that Mac geeks can actually have a normal social life?
Have you not seed the thread in the apple watch section called "Have you got laid since having your apple watch?"
I beg to differ.....
Ah, how nice of you to belittle the OP's entire relationship.
Why do you assume women are incapable of taking responsibility for their own emotions or actions? Perhaps some are more interested in relationships with humans instead of foundations, shores, or other clichés. Perhaps some—who do take responsibility—avoid people with mindsets like yours.
You realize that's a contradiction, right?
Huh, if what you're saying were true, it would have odd implications for homosexual/noncisgendered relationships. Who takes the bullets (whatever that actually means) if two men are involved? Do they have to go to ammunition stores and buy it separately? Do lesbian couples sell their excess bullets? Personally, as a dutiful man of honor and immense courage, I sometimes break Y chromosomes out of a nucleus or two and use them as shields. It works a treat.
You seem to paint relationships as something to be endured rather than enjoyed, which doesn't sound healthy.
Ah, how nice of you to belittle the OP's entire relationship.
Why do you assume women are incapable of taking responsibility for their own emotions or actions? Perhaps some are more interested in relationships with humans instead of foundations, shores, or other clichés. Perhaps some—who do take responsibility—avoid people with mindsets like yours.
You realize that's a contradiction, right?
Huh, if what you're saying were true, it would have odd implications for homosexual/noncisgendered relationships. Who takes the bullets (whatever that actually means) if two men are involved? Do they have to go to ammunition stores and buy it separately? Do lesbian couples sell their excess bullets? Personally, as a dutiful man of honor and immense courage, I sometimes break Y chromosomes out of a nucleus or two and use them as shields. It works a treat.
You seem to paint relationships as something to be endured rather than enjoyed, which doesn't sound healthy.
I actually have to agree with that one..... My ex was a prime example of that one... she could never take responsibility always put the blame on me. 99% of the women i met are like that, unable to take responsibility
EDIT: seems that from what i have seen men have to work harder because the women have the mindset of "all men are the same" so we men have to work twice as hard to prove to them that not all men are the same.
Ah, how nice of you to belittle the OP's entire relationship.
Why do you assume women are incapable of taking responsibility for their own emotions or actions? Perhaps some are more interested in relationships with humans instead of foundations, shores, or other clichés. Perhaps somewho do take responsibilityavoid people with mindsets like yours.
You realize that's a contradiction, right?
Huh, if what you're saying were true, it would have odd implications for homosexual/noncisgendered relationships. Who takes the bullets (whatever that actually means) if two men are involved? Do they have to go to ammunition stores and buy it separately? Do lesbian couples sell their excess bullets? Personally, as a dutiful man of honor and immense courage, I sometimes break Y chromosomes out of a nucleus or two and use them as shields. It works a treat.
You seem to paint relationships as something to be endured rather than enjoyed, which doesn't sound healthy.
And you are a virgin and a loner. It is so obvious.