Broke with my girlfriend

[Scepticalscribe]

I actually have to agree with that one..... My ex was a prime example of that one... she could never take responsibility always put the blame on me. 99% of the women i met are like that, unable to take responsibility

EDIT: seems that from what i have seen men have to work harder because the women have the mindset of "all men are the same" so we men have to work twice as hard to prove to them that not all men are the same.

I am fascinated by the mindset which - because a relationship failed with 'an ex' - that every single person of the same gender as the 'ex' is somehow an identikit clone in manner, behaviour and reactions and preferences. A real 'Stepford Wives' mindset.

In fact, I surmise that the reason you find that '99% of the women' you met are the same is - I strongly suspect - because you keep falling for the same type of woman (which means that the relationships run a risk of following a similar narrative arc), and, moreover, you probably have pretty strongly ideas as to what constitutes a proper relationship re gender roles.

Attempting to explain away relationship disasters on the grounds of 'all women are the same' (and I have rarely met women who will attempt to argue the converse - that 'all men are the same', when anyone with eyes and ears can tell that they are not), is not only idiotically wrong, it also allows for a situation where it frees up the person who articulates this opinion from any sort of self-analysis or self-examination.

Moreover, anyone who cannot see the differences, is either unable or unwilling to see them, and possibly does not seek out anyone who is in any way different from what he sought in earlier, tanked, relationships.




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And you are a virgin and a loner. It is so obvious.

What a bizarre post.

 

[AngerDanger]

And you are a virgin and a loner. It is so obvious.

No to the first and yes to the second. Speaking of obviousness, you employed an ad-hominim fallacy rather than addressing what I said. You've been with irresponsible women and assume all are; if you don't like what I say, just make up something else about me.

 

[MatthewLTL]

And you are a virgin and a loner. It is so obvious.

Damn..... that's the oddest post ive ever read on here..... so what if the poster of that statement is a virgin or a loner? how is that relivent and why would it even matter?

 

[AngerDanger]

I actually have to agree with that one..... My ex was a prime example of that one... she could never take responsibility always put the blame on me. 99% of the women i met are like that, unable to take responsibility

EDIT: seems that from what i have seen men have to work harder because the women have the mindset of "all men are the same" so we men have to work twice as hard to prove to them that not all men are the same.

It's a bit ironic that you think women find men identical, but you're okay with making the same presumption about them. Although I've noticed similarities between the partners in relationships I've had, they're balanced out by unique aspects.

As Scribe has suggested, you might find yourself attracted to similar people, but that would be reflection of your desires rather than all women.

 

[MatthewLTL]

I am fascinated by the mindset which - because a relationship failed with 'an ex' - that every single person of the same gender as the 'ex' is somehow an identikit clone in manner, behaviour and reactions and preferences. A real 'Stepford Wives' mindset.

In fact, I surmise that the reason you find that '99% of the women' you met are the same is - I strongly suspect - because you keep falling for the same type of woman (which means that the relationships run a risk of following a similar narrate arc), and, moreover, you probably have pretty strongly ideas as to what constitutes a proper relationship re gender roles.

Attempting to explain away relationship disasters on the grounds of 'all women are the same' (and I have rarely met women who will attempt to argue the converse - that 'all men are the same', when anyone with eyes and ears can tell that they are not), is not only idiotically wrong, it also allows for a situation where it frees up the person who articulates this opinion from any sort of self-analysis or self-examination.

Moreover, anyone who cannot see the differences, is either unable or unwilling to see them, and possibly does not seek out anyone who is in any way different from what he sought in earlier, tanked, relationships.




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What a bizarre post.

i never stated "all" are the same.... I have simpley stated that my ex couldnt take responsibilty nor could anyone before her or after her..... its a generalization BASED upon the small precentage of the women i have delt with its in no way stating or generalizing on the broader picture

 

[Scepticalscribe]

i never stated "all" are the same.... I have simpley stated that my ex couldnt take responsibilty nor could anyone before her or after her..... its a generalization BASED upon the small precentage of the women i have delt with its in no way stating or generalizing on the broader picture

Well, then, I'd suggest that you consider rephrasing it so that it reads something along the lines of: 'In my (extensive/not so extensive - delete whichever is inappropriate) experience the kind of women I have dated have all responded in much the same way to similar situations/stimuli such as break-ups, or taking responsibility for their actions'..

A generalisation based on a small sample is lazy thinking, and it is also imprecise and, invariably inaccurate.

 

[Apple_Robert]

i never stated "all" are the same.... I have simpley stated that my ex couldnt take responsibilty nor could anyone before her or after her..... its a generalization BASED upon the small precentage of the women i have delt with its in no way stating or generalizing on the broader picture

Look back at this post.

I said "Not all ladies act the same way." Your reply: "I have yet to find that to be true........"

By your own words, you told me and everyone else who read the post in question, that you haven't found a case where all women haven't acted the same. With your statement, that only leaves one conclusion; that you view women as all acting the same. And if they act the same, that means that they are the same as far as you are concerned. Hence your reply to the post in question.

You did say what you Scribe called you on.

Man up and admit you are wrong in your mindset, instead of continuing with the denial.

 

[MatthewLTL]

Look back at this post.

I said "Not all ladies act the same way." Your reply: "I have yet to find that to be true........"

By your own words, you told me and everyone else who read the post in question, that you haven't found a case where all women haven't acted the same. With your statement, that only leaves one conclusion; that you view women as all acting the same. And if they act the same, that means that they are the same as far as you are concerned. Hence your reply to the post in question.

You did say what you Scribe called you on.

Man up and admit you are wrong in your mindset, instead of continuing with the denial.

i havent found a case..... but that doesnt mean its as a whole but i have pretty much given up trying.... having that mindset cant be helped when its all the same you experience

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Well, then, I'd suggest that you consider rephrasing it so that it reads something along the lines of: 'In my (extensive/not so extensive - delete whichever is inappropriate) experience the kind of women I have dated have all responded in much the same way to similar situations/stimuli such as break-ups, or taking responsibility for their actions'..

A generalisation based on a small sample is lazy thinking, and it is also imprecise and, invariably inaccurate.

never said it was accurate...... may be lazy thinking but i am a generally negitive person. too much bad and not enough good happening in my life dont help matters any

 

[ratsg]

Posts such as this give rise to a repressed desire to request the return of the down vote button….

We are not ready for such power.

Although I disagree with your assessment about us being ready for such power, you are not alone in your opinion.

Why do you suppose that half the forums across the Internet are ready, but we aren't?

 

[Apple_Robert]

i havent found a case..... but that doesnt mean its as a whole but i have pretty much given up trying.... having that mindset cant be helped when its all the same you experience

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never said it was accurate...... may be lazy thinking but i am a generally negitive person. too much bad and not enough good happening in my life dont help matters any

That kind of mindset can, and should be helped (read: confronted instead of excused).

As Scribe has previously mentioned, there is a disconnect in your relationships that needs to be addressed and repaired.

If your relationships are turning out the same and you have all but given up trying, that means that the disconnect begins and ends with you, in my opinion.

If the relationships with women have always gone south, it means...

You are attracted to, initiate, or further participate in dysfunctional relationships. I am not saying that there has never been any fault with any of the ladies. And I am not saying you are a bad guy.

If the same thing keeps happening to you in relationships, you need to locate the disconnect in yourself and repair it. When that is done, you will start to experience relationships in a whole different manner. Your experiences will be different, as they should be.

At times, we may not be able to see the disconnect in our self, in a given situation. Other times, we may see it, but become resistant to change, because of hurt feelings over how the problem was presented to us, or from past baggage we may still be carrying around and don't really want to admit.

How far we go in a relationship with another person is contingent on how far we are willing to go inside ourselves, in my opinion. When we deal with and address ourselves first, (keeping on top of internal garbage disposal process) we are better able to see our partner for who he or she is, instead of what we expect him or her to be, as well as the relationship as a whole.