Corny Jokes and One Liners

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by renewed, Jul 14, 2011.

  1. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

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    #476
    "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln
     
  2. jeyf, Sep 21, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2017

    jeyf macrumors 6502a

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    #477
    why is 6 afraid of 7?

    because 7 8 9
    or
    Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
     
  3. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #478
    What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes get?



    The Nobel Prize

    :cool:
     
  4. chown33 macrumors 604

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    #479
    That's not nearly as funny in octal.
    Because 7 10 11

    The Canadian version uses hexadecimal.
    Because 7 8 9 A (7 ate 9, eh)
     
  5. Skyberlines macrumors newbie

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    #480
    A baby seal Walked into a club...
    --- Post Merged, Nov 21, 2017 ---
    Now that one made me laugh out loud. I even snorted.
     
  6. Huntn macrumors P6

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  7. Mac'nCheese Suspended

    Mac'nCheese

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    #482
    I give up.
     
  8. Starship67 macrumors 6502a

    Starship67

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    #483
    Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can sure see myself in your pants.
     
  9. Huntn, Nov 23, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2017

    Huntn macrumors P6

    Huntn

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    #484
    What is black, white, black, white, black, white?

    Really? This is an ancient riddle I learned as a kid. A big, red rock eater. :)
    --- Post Merged, Nov 23, 2017 ---
    Lol, now that is one swave sexual harassment pickup lineup I ever heard one. ;)
     
  10. Starship67 macrumors 6502a

    Starship67

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    #485
    Yea, I would never even consider using it, but it is funny
     
  11. Gregg2 macrumors 603

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    #486
    piano keyboard
     
  12. Huntn macrumors P6

    Huntn

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    #487
    I admit that somewhat works, but the funny answer is a nun falling down a flight of stairs although it does not seem to be as funny as when I was a kid. It’s one of those jokes based on potentially serious injury, which is somewhat related to slapstick. I grew up watching the 3 Stooges hitting each other on the head with hammers. Here is another, that I laughed at as a kid.

    What is yellow and black and screams? A school bus driving off a cliff. :p:oops:
     
  13. obeygiant macrumors 68040

    obeygiant

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    #488
    What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?







    One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
     
  14. 960design macrumors 68030

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    #489
    People from around the globe were welcomed to the First Annual Flat Earth International Conference.
     
  15. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

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    #490
    One of the first jokes I learned as a kid was:

    Q: Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?

    A: Mr. Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.​

    I suppose the proper answer should be "Mr. Bigger's baby, because he or she is a little Bigger." but as I kid I didn't think of that.
     
  16. 960design macrumors 68030

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    #491
    PET PEEVE ALERT!!!
    Instead of he/she, just use they.

    Mr. Bigger's baby, because they are a little Bigger.

    By the by, Mr. Bigger baby joke made me and my daughter laugh out loud.
     
  17. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

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    #492
    Ask your daughter why a bicycle can't stand up by itself.

    The answer: It's two tired!
     
  18. 960design macrumors 68030

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    #493
    Rolled the eyes.:rolleyes: Then giggled.
     
  19. Gregg2 macrumors 603

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    #494
    Oh no!:(:eek:o_O
     
  20. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

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    #495
    The kids asked Mom where humans came from. She said that God created Adam and Eve, who had children, and the children had children, and so on until we came to be.

    Then the kids asked Dad where humans came from. He said that monkeys evolved into apes, then apes evolved into early humans, then early humans evolved into modern humans, like us.

    The kids went back to Mom and said "You told us that God created us and Dad told us that we evolved from monkeys." So Mom explained, "I was telling you about my side of the family and Dad was telling you about his!"
     
  21. Doctor Q Administrator

    Doctor Q

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    #496
    Another Adam and Eve joke

    Q: Why did Adam and Eve have to leave the garden?

    A: They didn't read the apple terms and conditions!
     
  22. Future-Proof macrumors regular

    Future-Proof

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    #497
    Has anyone thought about listing all of siri's jokes?

    My god this thread is older than siri integration in ios!
     
  23. C DM macrumors Sandy Bridge

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    #498
  24. I7guy macrumors P6

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    #499
    That was actually very punny. :)
     
  25. Starship67 macrumors 6502a

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    #500
    I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
     

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