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Dating "Rules"

You know, having dated both sexes, I concur with scem0.

Within an hour, you know whether you are getting any, there are no stupid little worries about getting doors or paying the check...and if one part isn't interested, it usually gets said really quickly.

Gay men usually want to get down, and then ask questions later. :D
 
The sex has to be good.

You may get a temporary reprieve from this fact by being young and inexperienced or adjusting to a new partner - but ultimately, it seems an iron-clad rule.

Good sex may not guarantee a successful relationship, but bad sex surely dooms one.

Not meaning to be crass, but no-one seems to have mentioned this so far.
 
blackfox said:
The sex has to be good.

You may get a temporary reprieve from this fact by being young and inexperienced or adjusting to a new partner - but ultimately, it seems an iron-clad rule.

Good sex may not guarantee a successful relationship, but bad sex surely dooms one.

Not meaning to be crass, but no-one seems to have mentioned this so far.
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I suppose, however according to those "rules" its the woman who initiates it while the man has to patiently wait for it, not the other way around. Do you agree?
 
Chundles said:
I always thought there was only one rule:

1. Don't be a prat.
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Def. straight from apple's dictionary...

:D
 

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CubaTBird said:
I suppose, however according to those "rules" its the woman who initiates it while the man has to patiently wait for it, not the other way around. Do you agree?
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I'm not sure what you mean.

Are you referring to my "rules"? Because what does who initiates have to do with it?

I've been the initiator sometimes, sometimes not. There are times I probably lost the opportunity by not initiating.

This all seems like a digression though - care to clarify what you meant?

Chundies - your rule seems good, although I see plenty of prats with fine women on their arms...so...
 
Skeeball236 said:
In the times I ever thought the same way for a girl, it usually ended up in pain/hurt....I was too stupid to see the ones that dug me when I wasn't even trying. Sometimes when you look at yourself, all you see is the faults....others see so much more. I guess trust is a big thing, in the way that learning to distinguish someone who is trying to hurt you/use you as opposed to help you/love you.

We are such strange animals...
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If I understood half the things I do in relationships I wouldn't screw them all up
 
blackfox said:
I'm not sure what you mean.

Are you referring to my "rules"? Because what does who initiates have to do with it?

I've been the initiator sometimes, sometimes not. There are times I probably lost the opportunity by not initiating.

This all seems like a digression though - care to clarify what you meant?

Chundies - your rule seems good, although I see plenty of prats with fine women on their arms...so...
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I mean in the early part of a relationship.
 
CubaTBird said:
What defines the spark? Is it sharing common interests, personality, humour, a combination?:confused: :eek:
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Applespider done a pretty good job describing spark.

All I can say is this: you'll know when it hits you. Personally, I get a warm jolt in my chest when I think about doing anything at all with a particular girl. It feel almost like a thirst to be with them, hold them, wander, explore life together. I know it sounds cheesy...:eek:
 
OutThere said:
Applespider done a pretty good job describing spark.

All I can say is this: you'll know when it hits you. Personally, I get a warm jolt in my chest when I think about doing anything at all with a particular girl. It feel almost like a thirst to be with them, hold them, wander, explore life together. I know it sounds cheesy...:eek:
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Yes I felt it to, thought it turned out the girl I felt it with wasn't for me. :eek:
 
CubaTBird said:
You called her, and she emailed you back? Lame if you ask me, yeah and I would say that was a test. I would have picked up on that and played on it and said something like "hey now no need to rush into things and move forward with the wedding plans, we are just having dinner." ;)
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actually i am a guy. i don't know a guy that REALLY loves to talk on the phone. either with a guy or gal. i sent her a text message. and i wrote my email in the text message. :eek:

btw. i like your idea as a response...

TheAnswer said:
The best rule is to ask a girl if they are happy with themselves. If they say yes without hesitating, but not so fast that they look like they are lying or shallow, then you have a chance. If they aren't happy with themselves, forget it.
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if they say they are not happy with themselves, would that not be a grrl's hint that the guy has a chance? in a way, if she is not happy, the guy could make her happy.

Macky-Mac said:
sorry, but that rule was thrown out years ago
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so what is the RULE now?

solvs said:
But what do I know. My unabashed honesty and just being myself usually makes my relationships end disastrously. Of course, I have horrible taste in women and barely even bother anymore.
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come on. don't give up.

drop us some pictures of your taste in women. and we could vote if you have a horrible taste or not. do you dare? :)

iGary said:
Gay men usually want to get down, and then ask questions later. :D
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i disagree. stra8 men love it too.
 
redAPPLE said:
drop us some pictures of your taste in women. and we could vote if you have a horrible taste or not.
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You misunderstand. They're usually pretty attractive. It's what's on the inside that turns out to be not great. Like stabbing and fire bad. Or getting drunk and/or high and cheating. A lot. I'm lucky when they just turn out to be lesbians using me to get pregnant or married and trying to get revenge on their husbands. :eek: And no, I'm not kidding. :(

I think the rules go right out the window when you're dating hot psychos.
 
Applespider said:
There are times when I've seen a guy a few times and we've got on pretty well. But there's no spark there...

So while I'd still like to see him as a friend, it's only fair to let him know that it's not going to go any further.
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Some of the best relationships start out as friends.

As someone once told me, relationships are like fire. There are those that burn quickly and brightly but are soon extinguished. Others take a while to get going, but burn a long time.
 
After a few dates, a girl once told me, "I just want to be friends."

I said "Sorry, I already have plenty of friends" and stopped calling.

Does anyone agree that it's pointless to try to turn a "we're going on some dates and I really dig her" to "oh, we'll just hang out and be friends, and maybe I'll be fortunate enough to hear her stories about other guys."

No thanks.

And yes, guys have their own unique quirk. The "I'll sleep with her but I don't want to date her" syndrome. We lead girls on until they finally give in, and then we're out. Though not until we're sure we've drained all of the sex without commitment from her.
 
FrankieTDouglas said:
After a few dates, a girl once told me, "I just want to be friends."

I said "Sorry, I already have plenty of friends" and stopped calling.

Does anyone agree that it's pointless to try to turn a "we're going on some dates and I really dig her" to "oh, we'll just hang out and be friends, and maybe I'll be fortunate enough to hear her stories about other guys."

No thanks.
.
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I don't go out on dates to find friends either. I think it's just a way girls like to let a guy down easy. As a girl I can understand how annoying that is.
 
Chundles said:
I always thought there was only one rule:

1. Don't be a prat.
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I like that. That's a good start. For me, arrogance, intentional stupidity, and bad manners falls under this term.

I went on a date recently, chose Italian for dinner and that was a big mistake. He was slurping on his Boscaiola - really gross - and all of a sudden I was having dinner with a malfunctioning suction tube. He ran to the waiter before I could sit down at the table to ask if the restaurant had EFTPOS facilities, farted in the car which became really awkward, and reprimanded me for the rest of the night about how naughty I am for having a cigarette - even if it is only occasionally.

A gentleman is always a pleasant surprise, but the old-fashioned, old-school hoo-ha of getting up at the table whenever I get up, picking me up from my place in your fancy convertible, and talking really politely (read:boring) gets you nowhere if not backwards.
 
redAPPLE said:
actually i am a guy. i don't know a guy that REALLY loves to talk on the phone. either with a guy or gal. i sent her a text message. and i wrote my email in the text message. :eek:
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No but see, lets say you do have the girls number... Use it! When you do call her, make some small talk on the phone for not very long. Usually if she likes you girls have this thing with asking you "where are you right now". So make something up if your not at some really hip place:p . Then be straight up and ask her "what are you doing tonight". Not tomorrow, not this weekend, TONIGHT. You mean business my man. :eek: Also shows her your level of confidence in yourself.
 
Applespider said:
No self-respecting woman will accept an invitation for tonight. Screams 'desperation'!
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It's all in the proper context though! Im assuming these two have hung out before this "first date". And think about it, if you ask her "what are you doing this weekend" there is room for her calling him up and sayin "yeah, well i got busy so can we reschedule"..
 
I think that both the male and the female in a straight relationship should both give and take. Men having to open the door is stupid in my opinion, although maybe sweet in some cases. As long as a guy cares about our relationship, I would pay for my own meal, etc. w/o a second thought.
Over-thinking it is silly, imo, and you have no need to over-think it if you're with a girl who's a rational person with a sense of her self.
 
Applespider said:
No self-respecting woman will accept an invitation for tonight. Screams 'desperation'!
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well, I would have to imagine that on both ends of that hypothetical conversation, you would want to play it by ear - if it seems natural to meet up later that evening, then give it a shot.

Is it really wise to be second-guessing so much?

I heard that one of the top reasons marriages/LTR fail is because sooner or later one or both of the couple cannot maintain the 'superior' version of who they are/would like to be seen as - and the reality is just too much.

Starting with reality (or close) seems to save alot of time and effort.

So, back to the hypothetical conversation - extend and/or accept an invitation for whenever. If it goes over poorly, then wait till you find someone who likes your style.
 
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