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josh.thomas said:
Haha! Well played, OnceUGoMac! :)

Had that sorted, got a free haircut from the best stylist in town - normally charges £60 - 'cos I was presenting that fashion show..

Its mega cool now, LOL.

You owe me. You gotta teach me Welsh now. With a name like Morgan Lewis, do you think I'll have trouble finding relatives?:D
 
Hummer said:
Nothing, the thing is probably melting in 100 degree weather here. I still have no idea where it is.
Get into a fit run round the house with a screw driver emptying cupboards etc. Then unscrew stuff and throw the screws away. Make sure it is the type of screw you cannot buy anywhere.
 
QCassidy352 said:
Disclaimer: angry and judgmental rant follows. I don't mean to offend anyone, but what I've seen in this thread shocks and saddens me. My comments are not directed at any one person.

It just stuns me that people in this day and age can still think that hitting children is acceptable.

I completely agree. I think anyone who advocates hitting children is a savage and a barbarian. I was also saddened by many of the comments in this thread. Are you so unintelligent that you have to resort to hitting a child to make your argument?

It is illegal to go up and hit an adult, why should it be legal to hit a child?

Are you seriously saying that children should have less legal protection from violence than adults do?

It's illegal in several european countries to hit children, and anything more than a smack is bordering on illegal here in the UK.

I have an 18 month old daughter, and she knows the difference between right and wrong. She knows she's not allowed to open the document cupboard, and several other rules. She goes to bed if I tell her to go. I explained these rules and taught her without hitting her.

I'm not saying either of us is perfect - sometimes she breaks the rules, sometimes I get frustrated, - but a firm voice and a finger wag is enough, as well as a bit of intelligence to work out if she's breaking the rules because she is unaware or if she is bored or if she wants attention (grinning when I warn her is a dead giveaway) and a bit more careful brainwork to work out the appropiate reaction in each case, avoiding knee-jerk reactions and increased frustration.

I'm trying very hard to avoid making any statements about the USA because I have many dear american friends who are also against hitting children, but I'm also slightly disappointed cos I did sort of expect better from Macrumours people.

To the original poster who had his laptop taken. Your father has a temper. It's better that he took your laptop rather than hit you - that seems a more constructive action than hitting you. Almost throwing a chair in your bedroom is not good tho.

You owe it to yourself and to him and to the rest of the family to understand him better. Wait a couple of days to let the situation calm down. Don't look for your your laptop just yet. Wait for the right moment when he's relaxed, and isn't in a hurry, then ask if you can have a chat with him.

See if you can ask him what was that all about? Say that you understood he was really angry, but you didn't understand the reason why - could he tell you more?

For the love of god, in this conversation, don't twist his words or jump on any mistakes he makes. Try to understand what he's really saying, not the actual words themselves. If you have a point to make, say it once, then shut up like a man, and give him time to think about his response.

That'll maximise your chances of getting it back early.

I hope some of the advice from the other posters will help you.

One other thing - constructive arguing can be valuable, and can help bring out underlying reasons and help people to be honest in their passions and emotions, but it takes skill to avoid it going negative or bitter or picky.

Try not to go round in circles, try not to bring up the past. Talk honestly about your own feelings, emotions and behaviour e.g. "When you picked up that chair, I felt sad and scared" is good. If you feel up to it, you could ask him about his emotions, but do it in a friendly, polite way, not in a picky way.

Don't talk about character e.g "You're a violent chair-wielding maniac and don't call me a scummy sneaking kid who made my sister lie" is NOT good. "You always over-react" isn't a good thing for you to say either.
 
To all that said parents have the right to hit because they pay - be sure to ask your boss for a nice ass-whooping first thing Monday morning.

Hummer, tell your grandfather to take away his car ;)

Never hit your kids guys, each time i was hit i lost respect and gained fear. Don't you guys remember how you felt when you were hit? Did you like it? Has it helped? Am sure not. But you do it, cause they did it to you.

Other than my fathers 5 min outbursts and uncontrollable chaos in the house, he was a perfect, god-send father.

Today, am 26 and i hurts to say that i have never managed to have a father-son chat for more than 30 secs. We keep trying though.
 
Coheebuzz said:
To all that said parents have the right to hit because they pay - be sure to ask your boss for a nice ass-whooping first thing Monday morning.

Hummer, tell your grandfather to take away his car ;)

Never hit your kids guys, each time i was hit i lost respect and gained fear. Don't you guys remember how you felt when you were hit? Did you like it? Has it helped? Am sure not. But you do it, cause they did it to you.

People who think this way are the reason Mauri Povich and Jerry Springer have a steady stream of out of control kids to parade across the stage. :mad:
 
I'm sure those kids wouldn't be on Jerry Springer etc... if their parents had hit them more...


Those kids have probably NEVER seen any respect in their entire lives. How would you feel if you were treated by your employee in the way you're saying children should be treated?
 
Onizuka said:
What happened to the days of taking a belt to your child when their being little bastards? Seriously.
Now that made me laugh. Funniest thing I've heard all day.

I have to agree with you but sometimes spanking doesn't work. Take for instance me, my parents and siblings told me that I got more spankings than my brother and sister combined. Spankings didn't work for me but grounding me and making me stay in my room was more effective. I don't have anything against spanking my kids but if it doesn't work then I'll have to find something that works better such as grounding or taking there stuff away...

Nuc
 
Hummer said:
Let's just say I know my way around the internet enough to make money from it.


Obviously :rolleyes:

Remember, you are the one who thinks you can find out where a laptop that is in sleep mode or off can be found, thru wifi or listening for a fan.
 
Killyp said:
I'm sure those kids wouldn't be on Jerry Springer etc... if their parents had hit them more...


Those kids have probably NEVER seen any respect in their entire lives. How would you feel if you were treated by your employee in the way you're saying children should be treated?

Well i don't watch Jerry Springer so i don't know exactly what cases you are talking about. Hitting is not a way to gain respect. Never.

My employee should do what i ask within his job description. Nothing more and nothing less. I pay him, we're both happy. It's a 2 way thing as it is with kids.

Just tell me 1 good thing that i will gain in my relation with my kids, if i i don't respect and am unreasonable to them? Really, how does that lead to respect?. If i ask them to do something 'just because' then i expect them to go out and do the same. Great parent lesson, isn't it?

I have no respect for people who use violence to gain anything - it's plain simple bullying. We all have our opinions, and this is something am pretty sensitive with. Am not a parent yet and am sure things will change when i become one, but i don't want my kids to have the same bad memories as i have - a few but still painful to this day.
 
Kids are too spoilt these days, yelling back and saying horrible things to their parents.

There's nothing wrong with a little physical incentive sometimes.


When I was little, when I did something disrespectful, I got the belt. And guess what? I didn't to that again. Funny how that works :rolleyes:

I still love and respect my parents.
 
Coheebuzz said:
My employee should do what i ask within his job description. Nothing more and nothing less. I pay him, we're both happy. It's a 2 way thing as it is with kids.

So you expect a kid (a toddler for example) to do exactly what you say just because you say it? Oh, that's rich.

As soon as you successfully use a rational, logical discussion to turn a kid going thru the terrible two's into an angel be sure to market your services 'cause you'll be a millionaire in less than a year.

I wouldn't work for an employer that sat people in "time out" but that doesn't mean using "time out" for kids is inappropriate. The employee/employer relationship is a bit different than the parent/child relationship.

I have nothing against reasonable corporal punishment (ex. a spanking) being used as a last resort.


Lethal
 
blaskillet4 said:
Kids are too spoilt these days, yelling back and saying horrible things to their parents.

There's nothing wrong with a little physical incentive sometimes.


When I was little, when I did something disrespectful, I got the belt. And guess what? I didn't to that again. Funny how that works :rolleyes:

I still love and respect my parents.

I got the punch, funny how that broke my nose. Then i got the belt. And no it never worked for me. No hard feelings of course, he apologised ;)

The thing is that many parents don't invest time with their kids and try to learn their personalities - they don't seem to want to. Some kids will react to some kind of punishment, others will not. But resorting to extremes like hitting should be done only in extreme cases, not when i kid is acting like a kid. You want your kid to behave like an adult, treat him as one.
 
NWAMacTech said:
Obviously :rolleyes:

Remember, you are the one who thinks you can find out where a laptop that is in sleep mode or off can be found, thru wifi or listening for a fan.

I would think that some electronic device with bluetooth on discoverable and wifi would put out some kind of transmition despite "sleeping".
 
I think physical punishment works on depending on how it is done. I dont believe in the belt but an open palm to the rear end works pretty well one or 2 and not used to fofen . At most it stings a little but that passes in a min. It more gets a message accross very clearly that the kid is misbehaving.

Also punishment needs to fit the age. Physcal punishments works better on little kids because they dont have the mental ablility to understand what they did wrong as well. But they can relate things to being bad. They are like dogs. really no point to punish them unless you cought them in the act.

Also the punishments have to fit the kids. My brother sister and I where all handled in very different ways punishment wise. My mom general handled it. She learn which way of punishing us was the most effective. For me it was grounding and takign away things. My brother she had some trouble with figuring out but she learn what was imporant to him and would take that away (that be privages or items). My sister never really had that punishments like that because just having my mom disapointed in her is enough of a punishment and works very well. My parents learned what punishment was the most effective on each kid.
As you grow older punishments change now for my parents and I it on a different leval and my parents more offer advice (weither or not I want to listen to it) but they know my brother and I crossed the line to where our choices are our own. We still have to play by their rules since it is mostly their money we are spending.

From what I gathering base on what you are saying and my own experince is the trouble started with something you said that was disrepective. In text you idea may be sound good on how to deal with you sister but I have a very strong feeling that something in you tone was rude (I know this because I done it many times over. Mostly when I first woken up.)

Right now you are a teenager and hate to tell you this but you are acting like your typical HS freshman/Soph. Very selfcentered and thinks the world revolves around them.

As for you punishment you dad may of overreacted a little. But you made it worse by trying to get it back and going around his back. Your mom is not going to tell you if she disagrees with your dad or at least she shouldnt. She should support him in frount of you. Now at night priveltly they may talk about it but not going to tell you that they disagree. It was only after I went off ot college that I learn about my mom and dads disgreements and they both are moring willing to tell me there own personal opinan but we are also close to equals. They are still above me and always will be. But I also treated as an adult.

Things get better and later in life you will look back on this and understand. Right now you dont understand what you did wrong. What you need to do is calming talk with you parents about it. Get there side and try to see it from there view.

From what I gathering is something was bothering you dad that morning and was stressed. Your behavior was what set him off. He was stressed out. You learn to read when you parents are stressed. Trust me they can read you like a book. My mom scares me in that way. She knows when something is bothering me and knows if she can question me about it. She understand me very well. same as my dad (with a little help from my mom) and knows that some time what I need is there attention or just a little thing but know better than to ask what bothering me but that I need to get my mind off of it and that what they do.

Things to rememeber.

You parents both love you very much and do want the best for you. If you dont believe that now you will later in life and truely undersand it. I used to think that they didnt always do that but as I grown older I see how they love me. Also they are happy when they see my accoplition something I am proud of.
Trust me as you grow older things like this will be vage memories in your past and not imporant. You will learn more from it and see how it shape you.

Also you may not agree with you dad now. heck in a lot of ways I didnt agree with my dad when I was 15 or respect him as much as I do now. But over the past 6 or so years it grown to be he is one of the people I look up to and respect the most. Reason being is I started to be able to understand him as I grew older and I could think more on his leval. He has trouble thinking on the level I was thing. I was to far below him in mental ablitlies for him to relate very well or things I stuggled with I share the same flaw where I struggle relating with some one to far below me. I jsut cannt think on that level. It a curse. I wouldnt be suprise in some ways that you dad stuggles in the same way being able to relate with you.

Sorry to say but 15 years old are very differnet and it hard for any one not in that age range to relate with. College kids maybe or at least they will listen to them. But it still hard for even us to relate with you all because you are all so different from us. Go down the 11-12 years old and below. easy to relate with. 13-16 hard has hell to relate with 17 and up easy to relate with. You are in that age range that people just have trouble relating with and hate to say it jackasses who are mostly very selfcentered.
 
LethalWolfe said:
So you expect a kid (a toddler for example) to do exactly what you say just because you say it? Oh, that's rich.

As soon as you successfully use a rational, logical discussion to turn a kid going thru the terrible two's into an angel be sure to market your services 'cause you'll be a millionaire in less than a year.

I wouldn't work for an employer that sat people in "time out" but that doesn't mean using "time out" for kids is inappropriate. The employee/employer relationship is a bit different than the parent/child relationship.

I have nothing against reasonable corporal punishment (ex. a spanking) being used as a last resort.


Lethal

Of course you can't have a chat with a toddler - and i can't imagine hitiing one :confused: . And i only mentioned the employer/employer analogy replying to Killyp who mentioned it first.

Agree on using *reasonable* punishment and use spanking as a last resort but only when everything else fails.
 
Coheebuzz said:
I got the punch, funny how that broke my nose. Then i got the belt. And no it never worked for me. No hard feelings of course, he apologised ;)

The thing is that many parents don't invest time with their kids and try to learn their personalities - they don't seem to want to. Some kids will react to some kind of punishment, others will not. But resorting to extremes like hitting should be done only in extreme cases, not when i kid is acting like a kid. You want your kid to behave like an adult, treat him as one.


I think you got it. each kid is different. Best way to punish is to go with the most effect meathod for having the kid learn the lesson. Physical being one of the later ones to go to. Normally just the open palm will get a message across really clearly. (that is you are doing wrong and the person who you look to for proctection thinks you are doing wrong) I go with the quick swat personally. It doesnt hurt just delivers a clear message. But also who it works on depends on the kid. For some it over board and emotionally it hurts. Other it very effective. Depends on the kid and every kid is different.
 
blaskillet4 said:
When I was little, when I did something disrespectful, I got the belt. And guess what? I didn't to that again. Funny how that works :rolleyes:

The thing is in this situation, he got the belt and said it didn't effect him (although maybe he just internalized it and it will come out in weird ways once he starts dating or having children). So in this case it's clearly not effective.

Physical violence as a means to control the behavior of children is general used once the parents fear they have lost control of the situation. This could be because other styles of punishment have been subverted or ineffective. (they are usually ineffective because the child sees them just as a punishment and not a punishment for a specific behavior, some parents have the worst habit of just laying down the punishment and not explaining why it is happening and how to prevent it again). Especially as male children grow older, parents tend to get more physical since they physically fear their child (i.e. hit him while I still can without getting hurt).

I'm not saying physical violence is never right, just that it doesn't work unless the child sees the connection between the violence and his/her actions. It also doesn't work if the children are psychologically mature enough to internalize it (which will usually just screw them up later). I personally believe that anything that is not parent's hand-to-child's skin contact (either a child's hands or backside) on a child of less than say 12 is probably ineffective for both parent and child in the long run.
 
Coheebuzz said:
I got the punch, funny how that broke my nose. Then i got the belt. And no it never worked for me. No hard feelings of course, he apologised ;)

The thing is that many parents don't invest time with their kids and try to learn their personalities - they don't seem to want to. Some kids will react to some kind of punishment, others will not. But resorting to extremes like hitting should be done only in extreme cases, not when i kid is acting like a kid. You want your kid to behave like an adult, treat him as one.


I'm not advocating to use violence instead of talking to children, on the contrary. But I do think that violence can have its place if parents deem necessary.

My parents did devote time and effort towards me, I wasn't in constant fear of The belt™, and It didn't happen every time I goofed up. But when when the "stop" and "what did I tell you?!" wasn't enough, then belt eventually got me to listen.
 
Where is it? Looking....looking....ah ha! There it is!
manatee2le5.jpg
 
Wait. Let me get this straight. There are parents and adults in this thread who believe that the OPs father administered a proper punishment for the OPs mistake? Now I am taking the OP at his word for everything but apparently his father not only physically beat him with a belt but also appropriated his expensive laptop that he worked hard to be able to afford. First of all, beating a 15 year old with a belt for not doing what he was asked to do, especially when it was something so trivial as coming to a tennis lesson, is never the correct punishment. Then after violently releasing his temper, he takes his son’s laptop, which does not belong to him. True his son is only able to afford this luxury because he does not have to pay for normal living expenses, but is this still a proper punishment? Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to do something like cut off his internet access, which clearly seems like it would have had even more of an effect on the OP than the loss of use of his laptop? Taking away the internet would be a better punishment because it shows that if he does not accommodate his fathers wishes, he will not be able to enjoy the luxuries that his father provides. Where as taking away his laptop is something that a bully would do, it is rather childish. The only reason that people have said that he has the authority to take away his laptop is because he is his father, because he can. Or what? He will kick his son out on the street? Doesn’t that sound like blackmail? I am taking your laptop or else you can’t live here anymore! Don’t work hard to earn money because I am just going to take it when you don’t do as your told! This punishment is not teaching his son anything. Overall, it is clear that his father made a mistake with his punishments and it is also clear that the OP made a mistake by not doing what he was asked. Hummer you should have just done what your father asked because he asked you to do so, he wanted you to come to the tennis lesson and you should have respected his wishes even if you had a solution that was just as good.
 
you know he oringal question on finding it with some wireless device has never been answered. Figure I answer it now.

No you will not be able to find it.
chance are the computer is off so it not going to be transmitting or log into any router.
2nd off based on your question you dont know how to access or read the log files on the router itself. Which means even if you did know what table to look in you wouldnt understand the infomation on it to tell if you computer access the router in the past 24 hours.

Plus chance are really good that you computer not even been on to access the router. ANd that is assuming it is in the house.

And to answer you question yes I know where and how to read linksy log files. what the infomation means. Just on pincipal here means any help gaining access and understanding it I will not do for you are trying to go around your one parents. It is a punishment suck it up and deal.
 
Excursions said:
Wait. Let me get this straight. There are parents and adults in this thread who believe that the OPs father administered a proper punishment for the OPs mistake? Now I am taking the OP at his word for everything but apparently his father not only physically beat him with a belt but also appropriated his expensive laptop that he worked hard to be able to afford. First of all, beating a 15 year old with a belt for not doing what he was asked to do, especially when it was something so trivial as coming to a tennis lesson, is never the correct punishment. Then after violently releasing his temper, he takes his son’s laptop, which does not belong to him. True his son is only able to afford this luxury because he does not have to pay for normal living expenses, but is this still a proper punishment? Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to do something like cut off his internet access, which clearly seems like it would have had even more of an effect on the OP than the loss of use of his laptop? Taking away the internet would be a better punishment because it shows that if he does not accommodate his fathers wishes, he will not be able to enjoy the luxuries that his father provides. Where as taking away his laptop is something that a bully would do, it is rather childish. The only reason that people have said that he has the authority to take away his laptop is because he is his father, because he can. Or what? He will kick his son out on the street? Doesn’t that sound like blackmail? I am taking your laptop or else you can’t live here anymore! Don’t work hard to earn money because I am just going to take it when you don’t do as your told! This punishment is not teaching his son anything. Overall, it is clear that his father made a mistake with his punishments and it is also clear that the OP made a mistake by not doing what he was asked. Hummer you should have just done what your father asked because he asked you to do so, he wanted you to come to the tennis lesson and you should have respected his wishes even if you had a solution that was just as good.


you have a lot to learn. Parents are supposed to displine there kids. Heck my parents took away my car keys more than once. I paid for everything on the car but they still had the right to do it I live under there roof they make the rules. They are there to bring me up right.

We have stated time and time again Hummer has yet to even try to figure out what he did wrong.

Also I think taking the laptop was a very effective punishment. Take what imporant to the kid and he get the message across. Plus cutting off internet access is really pretty hard to do. Way to many ways around it. Taking away the laptop. now that one stings and hurts more than enything else.
 
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