QCassidy352 said:
Disclaimer: angry and judgmental rant follows. I don't mean to offend anyone, but what I've seen in this thread shocks and saddens me. My comments are not directed at any one person.
It just stuns me that people in this day and age can still think that hitting children is acceptable.
I completely agree. I think anyone who advocates hitting children is a savage and a barbarian. I was also saddened by many of the comments in this thread. Are you so unintelligent that you have to resort to hitting a child to make your argument?
It is illegal to go up and hit an adult, why should it be legal to hit a child?
Are you seriously saying that children should have
less legal protection from violence than adults do?
It's illegal in several european countries to hit children, and anything more than a smack is bordering on illegal here in the UK.
I have an 18 month old daughter, and she knows the difference between right and wrong. She knows she's not allowed to open the document cupboard, and several other rules. She goes to bed if I tell her to go. I explained these rules and taught her without hitting her.
I'm not saying either of us is perfect - sometimes she breaks the rules, sometimes I get frustrated, - but a firm voice and a finger wag is enough, as well as a bit of intelligence to work out if she's breaking the rules because she is unaware or if she is bored or if she wants attention (grinning when I warn her is a dead giveaway) and a bit more careful brainwork to work out the appropiate reaction in each case, avoiding knee-jerk reactions and increased frustration.
I'm trying very hard to avoid making any statements about the USA because I have many dear american friends who are also against hitting children, but I'm also slightly disappointed cos I did sort of expect better from Macrumours people.
To the original poster who had his laptop taken. Your father has a temper. It's better that he took your laptop rather than hit you - that seems a more constructive action than hitting you. Almost throwing a chair in your bedroom is not good tho.
You owe it to yourself and to him and to the rest of the family to understand him better. Wait a couple of days to let the situation calm down. Don't look for your your laptop just yet. Wait for the right moment when he's relaxed, and isn't in a hurry, then ask if you can have a chat with him.
See if you can ask him what was that all about? Say that you understood he was really angry, but you didn't understand the reason why - could he tell you more?
For the love of god, in this conversation, don't twist his words or jump on any mistakes he makes. Try to understand what he's really saying, not the actual words themselves. If you have a point to make, say it once, then shut up like a man, and give him time to think about his response.
That'll maximise your chances of getting it back early.
I hope some of the advice from the other posters will help you.
One other thing - constructive arguing can be valuable, and can help bring out underlying reasons and help people to be honest in their passions and emotions, but it takes skill to avoid it going negative or bitter or picky.
Try not to go round in circles, try not to bring up the past. Talk honestly about your own feelings, emotions and behaviour e.g. "When you picked up that chair, I felt sad and scared" is good. If you feel up to it, you could ask him about his emotions, but do it in a friendly, polite way, not in a picky way.
Don't talk about character e.g "You're a violent chair-wielding maniac and don't call me a scummy sneaking kid who made my sister lie" is NOT good. "You always over-react" isn't a good thing for you to say either.
