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GayWay - the gay and lesbian discussion (aka. Any Gays here?)
- Thread starter Brian0523
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Chip NoVaMac said:Same for ChipNovaMac too.
Though I may be safe since he is not into guys older than 40.
Psh, that's not true. Age doesn't matter to me, remember? But I do have a cuttoff (and it is not 40
, it's probably closer to 50, however there are exceptions to everything)._Emerson
scem0 said:Psh, that's not true. Age doesn't matter to me, remember? But I do have a cuttoff (and it is not 40
_Emerson
Giving you a ribbing here:
I'm 18. My cuttoff ages are 18-55 .
But if I were to fall in love with a 56 year old or someone my age, I wouldn't deny that attraction. I just don't think it will happen. I wouldn't think it'd be likely that I'd be attracted to a 38 year old either, but look and listen to Lee ! So, I don't deny any of my attractions, but I anything below 18 or above 55 seems like something that just couldn't happen.
_Emerson
.But if I were to fall in love with a 56 year old or someone my age, I wouldn't deny that attraction. I just don't think it will happen. I wouldn't think it'd be likely that I'd be attracted to a 38 year old either, but look and listen to Lee
! So, I don't deny any of my attractions, but I anything below 18 or above 55 seems like something that just couldn't happen._Emerson
Chip NoVaMac said:Giving you a ribbing here:
But you'd have to see Splash to get what I mean
. There are good 40+ year olds that embrace their ages, which make them seem younger, and then there are 40+ year olds that go to gay clubs on 'college night' to pick up guys my age. That is just creepy. So at Splash 40 is my limit ._Emerson
gekko513 said:
I agree...
and I believe the discharge rates have actually RISEN since the introduction of this policy!?!?!?! sigh
Australia allows gay and lesbian service men and women - and have done since the early 1990's... as now do many other developed western countries.
Is a shame here though - like many other places - that despite us pretending to have Zero tolerance to harrassment, and equal opportunities...
our gay and lesbian serivce people - still can not get some of the same benefits or recognition for their relationships like their heterosexual peers...
they still serve their country, move their families all the time with postings, go away on deployments - yet their partners are not recognised... which means for postings - they have to pay for themselves to move, it seems for re-union travel (they don't get any), and should the service man or woman die - they get NOTHING!
And we claim to be a more enlightened "developed" country who is tolerant?!?!?
gekko513 said:
I am 47, and at least at this point I have no cut-offs (well of course under 18, and maybe except for someone like scem, those under 25 are hard to deal with mentally). Just look at my post here on seeing Ed Anser on the Tonight Show, thinking he was hot.
In my younger days, 21 to 34, my target was 21 to 40. Though I did date a guy when I was 23 that was 47 (though he did look much younger). He and I broke up after 9 months or so, when his peers looked upon me as the trophy BF. Even though I had the intelligence and wit to keep up with them.
Vergeing on....
It goes to show that there's still some grey matter active under the polished dome. On the virgin - yeah, sure, - like virgin on the ridiculous. He he he. And as for the trip - you're more than welcome. This weekend's not as cathartic as last week. Perhaps that's just as well. I'm not sure I'd handle another cataclysmic out pouring so soon after.
However, I've to see my GP tomorrow, and the a couple of hours later, I've to have an MRI of my brain (let's get the gags over with, if you're finding a gag difficult, two fingers (down the throat) should do it.) As far as I'm able to plan ahead, on Tuesday, I'll do the pilgrimage to Makara Cemetery, and have a talk with my mate. That'll be a trip down memory lane for sure.
Y'all take care,
Grey Beard
Well Chip,Chip NoVaMac said:
It goes to show that there's still some grey matter active under the polished dome. On the virgin - yeah, sure, - like virgin on the ridiculous. He he he. And as for the trip - you're more than welcome. This weekend's not as cathartic as last week. Perhaps that's just as well. I'm not sure I'd handle another cataclysmic out pouring so soon after.
However, I've to see my GP tomorrow, and the a couple of hours later, I've to have an MRI of my brain (let's get the gags over with, if you're finding a gag difficult, two fingers (down the throat) should do it.) As far as I'm able to plan ahead, on Tuesday, I'll do the pilgrimage to Makara Cemetery, and have a talk with my mate. That'll be a trip down memory lane for sure.
Y'all take care,
Grey Beard
That's a little better than the U.S policy, but I agree, it's still a terrible deal. Does Australia allow gay marriage or civil unions? I'm guessing not, based on the military policy.DJY said:
Norway allows gay civil unions which gives almost the same legal rights as a marriage between a man and a woman except a gay couple can't adopt children. A gay partner would get the same benefits as a spouse when it comes to military service. I know there has been some problems with harassment, though. Given the prejudice and intolerance that I know still exists in large groups of the population I would be surprised if there wasn't, but the good thing is that the military is actively trying to fight this kind of harassment. I'm very happy, almost proud, to live in Norway because of the strides we're making when it comes to gay rights.
We have a new centre-left government now, and they may very well go ahead and make marriage and gay civil unions fully equal when it comes to legal rights. That would allow gay couples to adopt. If that happens I will be shocked in a good way.
How old y'all are?
As I've mentioned it earlier in the thread there's no going back, I'm 57. For ages; I suppose anywhere from 16 (street legal here) and death. In my late teens I recall an eminent barrister that I "saw" fairly regularly. And he was most generous with loaning me his sports car, and other largesse. He was in his sixties then. Nowadays it's mental, as in, it's all in the mind. I guess it was way back then too.
Grey Beard,
My salad days,
When I was green in judgement, cold in blood.
Hey Gekko,gekko513 said:
As I've mentioned it earlier in the thread there's no going back, I'm 57. For ages; I suppose anywhere from 16 (street legal here) and death. In my late teens I recall an eminent barrister that I "saw" fairly regularly. And he was most generous with loaning me his sports car, and other largesse. He was in his sixties then. Nowadays it's mental, as in, it's all in the mind. I guess it was way back then too.
Grey Beard,
My salad days,
When I was green in judgement, cold in blood.
Trips down memory lane I
Some of the talk of the past here (maybe more on my part than others ) got me to scan some old photos of mine tonite.
This is the first image, a picture from my prom night. Some background info. I now realize that I struggled with being gay since my pre-teen days. But a Catholic upbringing, and the social climate at the time kept me deep in the closet. Add to that I was feeling family and church pressure to go in to the priesthood (as my uncle had). I did ate girls at the time to try and fit in.
This picture is of one of two girlfriends in HS. This is Josie and me. Taking Josie got me in to trouble, for I invited her way early to Prom (like in January). She and I sort of parted ways just a month or before the prom, but remained friends, so we still went t. In the mean time, I started seeing this girl, Ann. Josie, Ann, and me; were in the HS drama club together. Ann and I got heavier into each other. Ann was ticked that Josie and I went to the Prom together (though Josie was a senior, and Ann a junior). Though Ann and me were not an official item till like two weeks before the prom.
Too bad the picture doesn't show it, but my shirt was a better match to her dress. And that the forest green textured tuxedo (like your grandmother couch), doesn't come through. Got to love 1976! BTW we traveled in my mom's 1970 green Duster!
Some of the talk of the past here (maybe more on my part than others
) got me to scan some old photos of mine tonite. This is the first image, a picture from my prom night. Some background info. I now realize that I struggled with being gay since my pre-teen days. But a Catholic upbringing, and the social climate at the time kept me deep in the closet. Add to that I was feeling family and church pressure to go in to the priesthood (as my uncle had). I did ate girls at the time to try and fit in.
This picture is of one of two girlfriends in HS. This is Josie and me. Taking Josie got me in to trouble, for I invited her way early to Prom (like in January). She and I sort of parted ways just a month or before the prom, but remained friends, so we still went t. In the mean time, I started seeing this girl, Ann. Josie, Ann, and me; were in the HS drama club together. Ann and I got heavier into each other. Ann was ticked that Josie and I went to the Prom together (though Josie was a senior, and Ann a junior). Though Ann and me were not an official item till like two weeks before the prom.
Too bad the picture doesn't show it, but my shirt was a better match to her dress. And that the forest green textured tuxedo (like your grandmother couch), doesn't come through. Got to love 1976! BTW we traveled in my mom's 1970 green Duster!
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Grey Beard said:
First, 16 will get you 20 in most states here.
I too remember my salad days. Shows, dinners, and trips. Yes, mostly from older gentlemen, but in the end little did they realize that I did truly loved them. And little did I realize that I could be replaced by younger and better looking.
Trips down memory lane II
Scem got me going here, sort of. He talked of his current adventures, and that got me thinking of my past adventures. So Ithought I would add to my previous post, showing my Gay life.
It was 1980. I had my first apartment of my own. And my first lover. (The first photo is showing me, my uncle (Father Stan), my Dad, and in the front my Mom. The second photo shows my Dad and my my first true "lover", Doug, sharing a laugh.
In the four years leading up to these photographs, it was a rough time. In 76 and 77 my parents did war over not of my being Gay, but accusations that I was out of control and doing drugs (an over reaction on their part, since I did do drugs, while my sister who was out of control, did). So much more to that story, but not really important IMO.
Moving forward to 1980. After living with a room mate or two, I finally got my own place in 1979. Early in 1980 I met Doug, and after a few months he moved in with. In trying to be the perfect couple, I invited my Mom and Dad for a dinner for four (Doug and me included). This was to be a dinner with the "in-laws". I already had a dinner with his family (that will have to be a different post, without pictures). So it was my folks turn.
A day or two before the dinner I get a call from my Mom. They won't be able to make it. My uncle (Father Stan - the priest) was coming down on a surprise visit. told here that I already bought everything, but being a good Polish family there would be plenty of food. Now at this time in my life I had already come out to my Mom. My Mom suggested that it was better to leave sleeping dog lie, than to officially come out to my Dad. I had come out to my uncle, and he was praying to the Virgin Mary for my salvation.
"Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061735/) came to my mind. To say the least I was in a panic. Doug kept trying to tell me that things would be OK.
The day arrived. Everyone was cordial to each other. As you can see by my expression, I was not having the best of times. Well the crowning glory for that evening was over the meal. My uncle being the priest, and the family Patriarch, I asked him to say the blessing over the meal. Could he stay with the standard, "God, we bless these gifts....."; hell no!
He said, "God we ask Your blessings on this meal. We also ask Your blessings for Doug and Chip, as they start a new life togther. May they find happiness and joy as the years pass. This we ask in Your name. Amen.". Call 911, I am having a f**king heart attack at that moment! For my Dad and I were to be operating under the forerunner of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy (there must have been some bugging going on in that apartment ).
All in all it was a great evening. Again despite the look on my face. LOL
As for Doug and myself. Well it was a year later that I found out he was cheating on me. He had the car, and I didn't. I have forgotten how I found out, but I did. Doug attempted suicide about a month after I found out. (That is a strange story in itself. I came home to find Doug very out of it. I asked what was going on. He said that he tried to OD on sleeping pills. I called Poison Control, only to be asked by the gal that answered, why did I not take him to the hospital earlier that evening. For he had called before to find out how many pills it would take!).
When he was released from the hospital, I was told by Doug that the staff felt it was better for him to get the care he needed at his parents home. That ended my first "long term" (a year and half at that point) relationship.
Fast forward a year later. Doug had taken a summer time job in Rehoboth Beach De. He called me, knowing that I spent some summers out there for a get together. It was like old times. Maybe too much so. He "seduced" me for a tumble. I fell for it, since I had always hoped that he and I could get together again.
It was a week later when I called him about seeing him again, that I was told that he needed to "experience" life to its "fullest". And that my wanting a real "stable" relationship, was not part of what he needed.
I have not given much thought, till recent posts here, about my past life. It was only in the last few months of moving, that I even came across these photographs. And even then, it was only in passing that I gave them any thought. It was talk here about some of our younger days, that have given me a reason to relook at what was.
Not a look back at what could have been. But a look back at the good times and bad. Much like Grey said, life can be looked upon as a shelf of books. You read a good book once, or twice (maybe many more times), and then back to the stacks with it.
I hope that you all with indulge me as I go back to the book stacks and share coming of age, and coming to grips with being Gay in the 1980's.
Scem got me going here, sort of. He talked of his current adventures, and that got me thinking of my past adventures. So Ithought I would add to my previous post, showing my Gay life.
It was 1980. I had my first apartment of my own. And my first lover. (The first photo is showing me, my uncle (Father Stan), my Dad, and in the front my Mom. The second photo shows my Dad and my my first true "lover", Doug, sharing a laugh.
In the four years leading up to these photographs, it was a rough time. In 76 and 77 my parents did war over not of my being Gay, but accusations that I was out of control and doing drugs (an over reaction on their part, since I did do drugs, while my sister who was out of control, did). So much more to that story, but not really important IMO.
Moving forward to 1980. After living with a room mate or two, I finally got my own place in 1979. Early in 1980 I met Doug, and after a few months he moved in with. In trying to be the perfect couple, I invited my Mom and Dad for a dinner for four (Doug and me included). This was to be a dinner with the "in-laws". I already had a dinner with his family (that will have to be a different post, without pictures). So it was my folks turn.
A day or two before the dinner I get a call from my Mom. They won't be able to make it. My uncle (Father Stan - the priest) was coming down on a surprise visit. told here that I already bought everything, but being a good Polish family there would be plenty of food. Now at this time in my life I had already come out to my Mom. My Mom suggested that it was better to leave sleeping dog lie, than to officially come out to my Dad. I had come out to my uncle, and he was praying to the Virgin Mary for my salvation.
"Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061735/) came to my mind. To say the least I was in a panic. Doug kept trying to tell me that things would be OK.
The day arrived. Everyone was cordial to each other. As you can see by my expression, I was not having the best of times. Well the crowning glory for that evening was over the meal. My uncle being the priest, and the family Patriarch, I asked him to say the blessing over the meal. Could he stay with the standard, "God, we bless these gifts....."; hell no!
He said, "God we ask Your blessings on this meal. We also ask Your blessings for Doug and Chip, as they start a new life togther. May they find happiness and joy as the years pass. This we ask in Your name. Amen.". Call 911, I am having a f**king heart attack at that moment! For my Dad and I were to be operating under the forerunner of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy (there must have been some bugging going on in that apartment
).All in all it was a great evening. Again despite the look on my face. LOL
As for Doug and myself. Well it was a year later that I found out he was cheating on me. He had the car, and I didn't. I have forgotten how I found out, but I did. Doug attempted suicide about a month after I found out. (That is a strange story in itself. I came home to find Doug very out of it. I asked what was going on. He said that he tried to OD on sleeping pills. I called Poison Control, only to be asked by the gal that answered, why did I not take him to the hospital earlier that evening. For he had called before to find out how many pills it would take!).
When he was released from the hospital, I was told by Doug that the staff felt it was better for him to get the care he needed at his parents home. That ended my first "long term" (a year and half at that point) relationship.
Fast forward a year later. Doug had taken a summer time job in Rehoboth Beach De. He called me, knowing that I spent some summers out there for a get together. It was like old times. Maybe too much so. He "seduced" me for a tumble. I fell for it, since I had always hoped that he and I could get together again.
It was a week later when I called him about seeing him again, that I was told that he needed to "experience" life to its "fullest". And that my wanting a real "stable" relationship, was not part of what he needed.
I have not given much thought, till recent posts here, about my past life. It was only in the last few months of moving, that I even came across these photographs. And even then, it was only in passing that I gave them any thought. It was talk here about some of our younger days, that have given me a reason to relook at what was.
Not a look back at what could have been. But a look back at the good times and bad. Much like Grey said, life can be looked upon as a shelf of books. You read a good book once, or twice (maybe many more times), and then back to the stacks with it.
I hope that you all with indulge me as I go back to the book stacks and share coming of age, and coming to grips with being Gay in the 1980's.
Attachments
scem0 said:How cute, Chip. I love the sun glasses
_Emerson
Those were not sunglasses. They were the "cutting edge" technology of variable density lenses. You know the ones, like the vari-lux lenses of today. They were very big in the 70's.
Now I want to see your Prom pictures! And dare don't tell us that you did not go to the Prom!
iGary said:
Well that leaves me out. LOL!
Gary, maybe I need to test your skills as a photographer. We should connect so that you and everyone else can see what 13 years in a relationship can do.
To be honest weight has been a problem for me my entire life. Imagine going through JHS as a 240#+ guy. It was not till HS that I met Coach Harriston (God rest his soul - died in a car accident about 10 years at Malfunction Junction in PG county after I graduated). He was the first person that judged me not on my size, but my heart. His words and encouragement led me to a "decent" weight by the time of my Prom.
My ex loved bigger men, and I feel prey to his desires. I also accept blame that when I am in a relationship I tend to gain weight. Always have, and maybe always will.
At the point that my ex split, I was at 280#. I am now at 260#. During most of my life after HS, people thought I was "ligheter" than I was. At the point I met my ex, I was at 190-200#. Given my "advanced" years, I will be happy to get to 210-220# by next year this time. Not to attract the "right" person, but to be in better health.
I wentChip NoVaMac said:
. The only picture I have is in Austin, undigitized. So that picture will have to wait. Good story ._Emerson
scem0 said:I went
_Emerson
Thanks.
Do we need to do a collection for you to able to get a scanner?
We need a full-time staff of 10 people to get my Mom to figure out how to use the scanner so that she can send it to me . The picture sits right next to her on her desk. Right next to the scanner, ironically.
I'll shoot her an email, seeing if she can figure out how to scan it. Teaching her how to right click was a pretty big challenge though.
_Emerson
. The picture sits right next to her on her desk. Right next to the scanner, ironically.I'll shoot her an email, seeing if she can figure out how to scan it
. Teaching her how to right click was a pretty big challenge though. _Emerson
Trips down memory lane II
I look at my past, based on what has been posted by some peoples present, and I could not help in posting this....
I look at my past, based on what has been posted by some peoples present, and I could not help in posting this....
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