Have you ever made a serious attempt at suicide?

[sushi]

A whole lifetime is only the blink of an eye. Although it seems infinitely long during it.

Truer words were never spoken.

Life goes to damn fast, unless of course we want it to then it crawls like a snail!

 

[itcheroni]

I find it funny that no one is considering a situation where a suicide is...not as objectionable? To clarify: everyone is refering to the actual consideration of suicide as an irrational mental state. I mean situations like in Million Dollar Baby and, to a lesser extent but more to my point, a situation in which a person with a "sound" state of mind wishes to take their own life.

I ask because, though I've never truly been suicidal, I have had an unexplainable depression. It's been with me at times when I couldn't think of a single thing wrong with my life. I didn't even know what I was feeling was depression. If anyone has read The Corrections, the Gary character really opened my eyes. It's an incredible book. I could go on and on about it but I'm starting to suspect people just tune out after the first few minutes.

 

[pseudobrit]

I also haven't gotten many decent responses as to how so many people can fail at suicide if they gave it a serious attempt. Lots of "Oh, you just won't get it unless you've been in that dark hole" statements doesn't qualify as an answer to a simple question from someone who doesn't understand.

Most people don't want to feel pain so they don't choose the surefire methods like jumping or guns. Many also don't want to make a spectacle of their demise. It's a very private moment.

So they choose quiet things like cutting themselves, asphyxiation or poisoning. As I said previously in this thread, the human body is a remarkably resilient and vigorous organism.
We're not nearly so delicate as we feel (and we especially feel delicate in a depressed state) and airtight methods of suicide that are anesthetizing are hard to come by.

None of this makes a genuine attempt that fails any less serious.

 

[vniow]

The only thing there is a void. It's emotional deprivation. There might be brief spurts of happiness or anger, but those are fleeting and once they are gone you can't even remember what it felt like to be happy or sad. All you feel is nothing. I think that is the most maddening part. Being nearly devoid of all emotion. Being numb, yet knowing you felt something once. Knowing you weren't always this way. Staring into a mirror for hours looking for some sign of life. Some brief glimmer or spark that you can hang on to. But there is nothing. Feeling sad would be a welcome change.

That's more often than not how I've been feeling for the past few years.

 

[Stridder44]

I don't think it's about life being difficult. In my case I was devastated over losing my girlie. I was only 19 and completely heartbroken. Though funnily enough although she was a cute little french girl at the time she is now a miserable harridan and my current girl of 20 years is drop dead georgeous. Let this be a warning to the youngsters

Thank you.


...no, seriously.


(don't worry, suicide isn't an option for me)

 

[bousozoku]

Ever think of having a ritual where you "die" and are reborn as a new man, totally independent of your biological family? Just sever any spiritual connection with your old family and your past and become a free agent of a spirit. Kind of a benevolent ronin soul.

Even if I were shallow enough to do that, it would merely make my shame worse. It's an interesting thought, though.

One thing to think about that can save your life is to always give yourself a week. Too many people suffering a crippling but temporary low could have come out of the wave if they'd just waited until the morning.

I suppose I didn't make myself clear but I will not commit suicide over feeling bad.

 

[jimN]

I find it funny that no one is considering a situation where a suicide is...not as objectionable? To clarify: everyone is refering to the actual consideration of suicide as an irrational mental state. I mean situations like in Million Dollar Baby and, to a lesser extent but more to my point, a situation in which a person with a "sound" state of mind wishes to take their own life.

I think that the reason that this group has been ignored is because people with terminal illnesses who choose to take their own life don't tend to stick around after to talk about it - I'm guessing their completion rate is very high. Given that switzerland actually offers an assisted suicide service and there was a very well publicised case of an english gp who went there to die, i expect you could get your money back if you were still around after a serious attempt like that. Can't be bothered to google it but how much does a dignified death cost?

 

[elisha cuthbert]

Yea been there tried that, never to be tried again

 

[dogbone]

I suppose I didn't make myself clear but I will not commit suicide over feeling bad.

I understand that sentiment. If I chose to top myself these days it would be done as a matter of informed choice not out of termoil. However in the situation that you mentioned while I respect your way of seeing it, I can't help saying that imo you are making a fundamental human error in your identification of what or who you think you are.

Maybe some words of wisdom from an 8 year old genius may help. I say a brief interview with this person some years ago and it stuck in my head. He was one of those little kids are so smart, they do university level math. Anyway I'm not sure of the details, but I think he was adopted or something, but that is not important. What is, is his answer to the interviewer who asked him "how he thought about his mother". After a pause and an incredulous stare he merely said...

"She's only the person who gave birth to me". Like he had no comprehension of why the question was being asked, it was so irrelevant.

 

[slooksterPSV]

Another aspect to suicide that I've often pondered is this.

I've felt sometimes overwhelmed with a feeling that I just do not wish to be alive any longer, and I thought at that time that if I had in my possession something like a cyanide pill (surefire rapid death) I'd take it at that moment even knowing what I knew at the time, which was that I would not feel like this in an hours time. Curious. I wonder how many of us would be alive today if we had a little cyanide pill in a ring all the time.

I am aware that I need to have the means to do myself in at hand at the moment I feel like it. So thoughts turn to things that one cannot undo, but will set in motion while in that particular state. It's as if there is a realisation that one needs to be in an irrational state. But one needs to be rational to organise it, by which time one chooses not to bother. I'm not sure if I've explained this well.

I think a lot of us have felt overwhelmed, over spring break I did (2 weeks ago), and just about 4 days ago I did, very very overwhelmed. It was horrible. As for the cyanide pill, yeah about 4 days ago if I had one, I probably wouldn't be here. But everything takes time, I've learned that and fought with a struggle of self-identity because of someone I liked - very sad, very sad, one person can make another change so much because of how much they like them. Anyways, I'll post my story gladly, but one thing we need to remember, and always remember is things take time. Life takes time and patience, things won't just happen zip zing zang. I used to think, how can people even consider suicide, life is worth living every moment, but then a deep turmoil fell upon me, and things haven't been the same since. Things are picking up though, I just need to get out of this town is what I figure, but just let time take its course.

 

[bousozoku]

I understand that sentiment. If I chose to top myself these days it would be done as a matter of informed choice not out of termoil. However in the situation that you mentioned while I respect your way of seeing it, I can't help saying that imo you are making a fundamental human error in your identification of what or who you think you are.

Maybe some words of wisdom from an 8 year old genius may help. I say a brief interview with this person some years ago and it stuck in my head. He was one of those little kids are so smart, they do university level math. Anyway I'm not sure of the details, but I think he was adopted or something, but that is not important. What is, is his answer to the interviewer who asked him "how he thought about his mother". After a pause and an incredulous stare he merely said...

"She's only the person who gave birth to me". Like he had no comprehension of why the question was being asked, it was so irrelevant.

Being able to do university level math doesn't mean that someone knows how to add it all up. I doubt that he really even noticed other people at all, as long as someone took care of him.

Your opinion is noted.

 

[SC68Cal]

In my Developmental Psychology course, our professor said to us "Everyone in this room has thought about committing suicide at some point in your lives. But you're still here." Nobody said anything, it was pretty creepy. I think that by the fact that the entire class was stone silent, this was a sign of agreement.

I think everyone thinks about it when life takes a turn for the worst, but it's different when you have persistent thoughts about it or actually have the willpower to go through with it.

Myself? I've thought about it a few times when the times got tough, but things have never been that awful where suicide would be an actual course of action. Most of the time I just think, "Just slug it out for now, things will turn for the better in a week or so."

 

[Timepass]

I suppose I didn't make myself clear but I will not commit suicide over feeling bad.

Yeah, people say that but it something that shows you dont understand it.
Going suicidal is more than just feeling bad. I used to think that way until I got close than I would like to admit.

It a lot more than that. All it did was show me how far I can be pushed. And what the warning signs for me personally are. I wish I could say that I would never think about it again but I know that a lie. I know I though about it several times since then but never as serioiusly. It more would people miss me at all.

It more than just feeling bad though so much more. It feeling of complete worthlessness. You yourself has no value. You veiw yourself as complete crap and have no value in this world. And you really dont feel bad. You really cannt feel anything at all. No happyness, no joy, no anger, Really you just feel empty hollow and fake to the world. You feel hopeless and are lost hope and the 2nd you lose all hope you are lost and you will kill your self. Hope is what keeps us going when the chips are down. With out hope you can not go on.

If some one is going scuidal give them hope. Just one shread of hope that all it will take to make them hold on is just give them hope. With hope they have a chance to recover and pull out of that point in life. As long as there is hope there is a way out. Once hope is lost the battle is over.


Hope is what will keep the person alive.

 

[bousozoku]

Yeah, people say that but it something that shows you dont understand it.
...

Well, thanks.

I was on anti-depressants for about 7 months, wouldn't go outside even to retrieve the mail for 6-7 days at a time and wouldn't answer the phone. I did have hope though--that I would die. I guess that's where I went wrong. I still had hope.

 

[sebisworld]

Oh my god. This thread is getting more replies than the usual "Do you own an iPod" thread. How depressing, it kinda looks like I'm "exceptional", having never thought about committing suicide. But it is good to know (if I may say that), next time I'm a little depressed about something that did not work out, I know that in reality I'm a really lucky guy. Sure, my life might be boring at times, and I've had some very minor losses, but I've never had to think about losing my life. Dying is the last thing I wanna do.

 

[Abstract]

I suppose I didn't make myself clear but I will not commit suicide over feeling bad.

But you plan to eventually commit suicide because of your family past? Maybe I missed the part where you said you aren't going to kill yourself over whatever issues your grandparents and birth mother had.

If you didn't say that you weren't going to in the future, then tell us when and we may have a drink in your honour, since it seems that you've already made up your mind about it.

 

[dogbone]

Going suicidal is more than just feeling bad. I used to think that way until I got close than I would like to admit.

True, in my case. I'm more likely to ponder it when I'm feeling good. (which is most of the time these days)

Well, thanks.

I was on anti-depressants for about 7 months, wouldn't go outside even to retrieve the mail for 6-7 days at a time and wouldn't answer the phone. I did have hope though--that I would die. I guess that's where I went wrong. I still had hope.

I'm not on anti depresents but I will stay inside for days on end and I often just don't bother to answer the phone. Basically people bore the frack out of me with their pettyness.

 

[jadekitty24]

Well, thanks.

I was on anti-depressants for about 7 months, wouldn't go outside even to retrieve the mail for 6-7 days at a time and wouldn't answer the phone. I did have hope though--that I would die. I guess that's where I went wrong. I still had hope.

Wow. Sounds like you are describing me.

 

[sushi]

That's very western hemisphere of you.

Suicide in Japan can be a great thing. Considering traditional attitudes concerning family shame, suicide doesn't seem wrong or selfish at all. I agree with this but I can understand that westerners cannot understand or agree with it.

In my own life, every day I want to die but because my adoptive parents are Americans, I will not do it to avoid hurting them. The day they're both dead, I will restore my biological family's honour by dying.

Having lived in Japan for over 15 years and being married to a Japanese I understand where you are coming from completely.

Ritualized suicide is a cultural event here and has been for many years. There are even special places for specific types of suicides it seems.

Some very famous individuals have completed ritualized suicide. For example, General Nogizaka. Seen his family's grave site as well as the home where he and the wife killed themselves. You can still see the blood marks on the tatami mats. A couple links for his life story:

http://www.answers.com/topic/maresuke-nogi

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Nogi

BTW, General Douglas MacArthur visited Nogi's home and planted a small tree, which is now rather large, to honor him.

I have also seen ritualized suicide much more recently by individuals accepting responsibility for their actions or for their organization's actions.

I completely understand this concept. However, I think that it is important to make sure that the reason behind it is sound for the individual and can live with it...or rather die with it.

While Shinto and Buddism are the norm here, other religions are practiced and have been for many years.

Being of mixed decent is an interesting issue. When I came to Japan, I thought everyone looked alike. Now after being here for quite a while I see that it is a complete myth. Riding the typical train one can see influence from many countries such as China, Korea, Okinawa, Ainu, Russian, Mongolian, Thai, German, African, etc. While the Japanese would like everyone to believe that they are one homogenious race and all have the same beliefs this is far from true. Even the Japanese do not consider Okinawans as part of Japan when it comes to race.

Sure they are more homogenious than Americans, but that isn't saying much as America is considered a melting pot.

What I am trying to say, is that while I understand and respect your position, I would humbly suggest that you really take a close look as to how things are today vice in the past. Japan is changing like the rest of the world. Some old beliefs may not be as important as they once were.

Either way, my deepest respect for your honorable beliefs.

 

[AppleMatt]

So I've never made an attempt on my own life, nor do I have the intention to, but I thought I'd share...
...some people here know I work on an ICU adolescent unit in mental hospital, dealing mostly with kids transferred from the prison service. Touch wood suicide attempts remain relatively rare (they much prefer to attack staff) but unfortunately there have been numerous occasions when we've dealt with this, the last being a week ago. We're trained to handle it, and once you pull your alarm you've got a team around you in seconds. Despite this, it's f**king scary even if you anticipate it and get everything/everyone ready in advance.

The point of this post? Usually after it's over we get the "why did you stop me, it's my life and it's my right to take it" speech shouted from seclusion for a few hours. 2-3 years later however we often get "thankyou" (not in all cases mind, there are some people who are determined to take their own lives). Also, I couldn't imagine having to deal with it outside a controlled environment (who carries ligature cutters around with them anyway!), and wouldn't wish that on anyone.

AppleMatt
(for the record, not one patient has achieved it since the division opened)

 

[bousozoku]

But you plan to eventually commit suicide because of your family past? Maybe I missed the part where you said you aren't going to kill yourself over whatever issues your grandparents and birth mother had.

If you didn't say that you weren't going to in the future, then tell us when and we may have a drink in your honour, since it seems that you've already made up your mind about it.

I did confirm that I will do it after my adoptive parents are dead, but you apparently missed that. There have been a lot of responses in the thread.

...
What I am trying to say, is that while I understand and respect your position, I would humbly suggest that you really take a close look as to how things are today vice in the past. Japan is changing like the rest of the world. Some old beliefs may not be as important as they once were.

Either way, my deepest respect for your honorable beliefs.

Thanks. I believe that I mentioned that things were changing. If it would heal the family, my early death is a small price to pay.

Wow. Sounds like you are describing me.

I'm sorry to hear that. If my experiences can help you, I'm willing to share with you.

 

[Applespider]

To those of us who imagine the trauma of having to see the remains of the person who jumped in front of the Tube, or walking into a room to find the person we knew dead, it seems selfish. But the reality is that the person committing suicide is at such a low ebb of their life that it's all they can do to think of what they're doing as a way out. They're incapable of thinking of the impact on others since nothing can be worse that what they are facing. Yes, I'd imagine it's horrible for those who are left behind who have to deal with guilt for not being there for the person or reliving the moment but selfish isn't the adjective to use. Oblivious perhaps to the impact of their actions?

I haven't made an attempt and I hope that I'll never hit such a nadir that I'll think of it as the only viable option.

 

[Mord]

you all scare me, i have more problems than most of you and i've never gone emo, heck if i had a perfect life i bet i'd be hella annoying.

not to be mean but how can you fail at committing suicide, heck if i were to do so i'd find a better way of doing, heck if i'm unimaginative i'd jump off a stupidly high building, maybe onto an expensive car, or do the exam hall stab yourself in the face with a pencil and give your year all A's (in the uk if a student commits suicide in an exam everyone get's A's).

anyway, point is my ego is my saving grace, i wouldn't do anything like that because i know how great i truly am, the one and only thing that get's to me is the way people don't get me, half my friends think they are the only friends i have, but the truth is they are so odd i don't want them to meet my other friends, people i don't know that well think i'm a complete anarchist due to my complete disregard for their perception of me, i just think they are morons, and then add that to my complete ego and honesty.

thus most people think i'm someone i'm completely not, but when they get to know me they are shocked in complete awe. then i'm back to square one, i either change myself in an attempt to get them to recognize me for the person i am, but the defeats the purpose and i'm back at square one.

but if i deal with any of this i realize what a whiney bitch i'm being, oh and i'd like to clarify i'm not the type that writes bad poetry has a medicorely higher than average IQ and thinks himself better than others for it complete arsehole workaholic.

so to summaries everyone thinks i'm someone elce and i dont even know who i am, but it doesn't worry me because i know just how much better i can do than most people without putting any effort into it and i'm fine going along for the ride and occasionally giving something my all, and when i'm honest about that people call BS because they think i'm just trying to show off.

anyway, none of this particularly bothers me.

oh and these are not the problems that are so much worse than yours as referred to above, those i can deal with.

 

[Lau]

They're incapable of thinking of the impact on others since nothing can be worse that what they are facing.

I also certainly know that my friends were genuinely amazed that we were sad, and that anyone would actually care if they died. It wasn't through lack of people telling them that - in fact we'd all spent the best day together that morning, and all had a great time, and then they engineered it that they went off together that afternoon. Yeah. Not good. But they really were in a low place, and really didn't think people would care - i.e. it wasn't selfish because they really didn't think anyone would care. They were actually devastated when they saw how upset everyone was.

 

[dogbone]

...i either change myself in an attempt to get them to recognize me for the person i am...

Why do want them to perceive you in a particular light?. Notwithstanding that you aren't sure what that light is.

... and i dont even know who i am,

Isn't this the root cause of the fundamental human problem. And perhaps is an answer to my above question.

WARNING: those with epilepsy may wish to refrain from looking at my avatar, if you do so you do at your own risk

There is no avatar visible to me, so I can only conclude that I must have blocked it some time in the past.