My friends... I've had this dream now for quite some time.
The smartphone market has a cancer. That cancer is ugliness. And we must cure it before we can hire these new designers who'll breath new life into this market again. Jones?
Jones: Thank you. What we need is a 24-hour-a-day phone designer. A designer that doesn't need to eat or sleep. A designer with superior rule-of-3 skills AND... the ability to use them.
It is my greatest pleasure to introduce to you.... iPhone Ripoff 209.
[applause]
Dr. Macnamara?
Dr. Macnamara: We'll need a conversation subject.
Jones: Mr Kinny!
Kinny: Yes sir!
Jones: Mr. Kinny, use iPR 209 in a useful manner.
Kinny: Yes sir! Uhhh.. let's see.... [phone explodes]
Boss: Dick! I'm VERY disappointed!
Jones: I'm sure it's only a glitch, a temporary setback.
Boss: Jones you fuul!
Morton: It's not too late, sir! Perhaps you've heard of the iPhone 4 program developed by myself at Limited But Works Concepts?
Boss: How long can you be ready?
Morton: We can have a volunteer program setup in 3 weeks!
----------------- 3 weeks later
Morton: This is for you, iPhone 4! Come on! =D [makes a phone call]
[applause]
--------------- one month later
Morton: What, you want to take your phone into the genius bar because your app wasn't made background aware!? Give me a break!
--------------- 1 week later
Boss: So as you can see, we've sold over 40 billion iPhone 4s!
Reporter in crowd: Wait a minute, there's only 6 billion people on this planet!
Boss: Isn't it amazing? 40 billion iPhone 4s!
Reporter in crowd: Hey that didn't answer my question at all!
Boss: And you can change the wallpaper for every page of apps now!
Reporter in crowd: wtf?
Reporter 2: OMG WALLPAPERZ IN EVERY PAGZ
Boss: And now we think this is pretty amazing... you can use... bluetooth headsets... AND CONTROL THE MUSIC WITH IT OMG
Reporter: Guys! Guys this isn't like RoboCop at all! And it took them 5 years to get that feature in!!
Reporter 2: OMGCANIHAZ