I totally get the choice between the two 13 Pro models is about personal preference, ease of use and maximum performance. Coming from Blackberry and then Samsung to the iPhone 12 Pro Max last year, size hasn't been an issue since I am used to typing and using my smartphones two handed.
While my 13 Pro Max did feel a bit more dense, after 8 to 10 days, I no longer notice the weight difference and truly only noticed it at all because it was mentioned so many times in the forums and YouTube vlogs. Let's face it. You probably have shoes that weigh more than the 13 Pro Max. I do, however, appreciate that it's not a fit for those who are smaller in stature or find it difficult to use with one hand.
My 13 Pro Max is in an Otterbox Defender Pro case, the slimmest edition in my memory, and is easily pocketable and not as bulky as one might expect having used this model case since 2006. When we are able to get back to travel and being in the office, the larger battery and it's longevity will be welcome thing with reduced battery anxiety.
Choose what works best for you but try not to get your mind wrapped around the axle on the size and weight of the 13 Pro Max or any other plus size smartphone until you have given it a try for a few weeks while, at the same time, ignoring these immutable characteristics, and evaluate the performance and utility of getting through the work week and every day life.