Oh god, I never thought I would ask this "here"!

[w_parietti22]

I dunno. That looks as if he asked her friend out to a movie to me.

LOL! yeah... I wish. I like her friend, but I dont have as much of a connection w/ her and it probably wouldnt work out. lol. I dunno. Julia is more my type.

Oh... and I was just thinking... they would be a kinda funny looking couple. He's 5' 3" and shes 5' 7". lol.

 

[2nyRiggz]

things will never be the same no matter what u pick. you might live with the feeling of not knowing what u could of had with that girl and that will twist your friendship with him anyway. if u do go for the girl then its going to be the same thing again.....go for it man...all is fair.

Bless

 

[jsw]

but one could argue any friend who would choose a girl over his buddy isn't much of a friend either. friendship is a two-way street. normally i think you and i seem to share a similar outlook on things but this one might be the contrast.

Perhaps.

I guess I just figure that, if this guy is a real friend, he wouldn't walk away over Wes asking out a girl. And, if he did, I question how good a friend he would be. Now, if Wes is the kind of guy who beds every girl in town and the friend has a hard time talking to girls, well, then I could see the friend's point of view. But I doubt that's the case, and the IM text seems to indicate that the friend is a bit of a snake, n'est pas?

Oh, and the friend who lost out to me (mentioned in my first - IIRC - post in this thread) for one girl had actually beaten me to the punch with another one three years earlier. That didn't work out for him, either, and we remained friends through it all.

 

[w_parietti22]

things will never be the same no matter what u pick. you might live with the feeling of not knowing what u could of had with that girl and that will twist your friendship with him anyway. if u do go for the girl then its going to be the same thing again.....go for it man...all is fair.

Bless

Unless I ask out her friend, but much rather go out with her and continue being friends with her friend.

jsw- I'm not. I've never had a real gf before. I've had those "for the sake of having a gf" relationships. Those ended quick. And now that I look at it, is he really a good friend? He kinda left, trying to find new friends in 6th grade... but he came back after finding put his new 'friend' was a total b***h.

 

[prostuff1]

The way the friend asked Julia out was kinda cheap. Going through a friend is kinda lame.

I can't say i have been in a situation like this but my thought is if he will get mad at you for asking out a girl then he probably is not a friend workth keeping. Most friends should get over the fact that you asked out a girl he liked.

Alls fair in love and war

Ask the girl out face to face if you can and it will go a long way. A whole lot more then asking through a friend.

just my $.02

 

[jsw]

jsw- I'm not. I've never had a real gf before.

I was just joking around... you don't seem to exude a playa vibe here (and it is a good thing not to...).

And those artificial gf's are a hassle. Best wishes in finding a real one!

 

[MyLeftNut]

Go for it

Many friends I have known from before High School I now no longer want to know for various reasons. You just never know whether either friendships or relationships will last. That is why if you were to make a value judgement about which you prefer at the end of the day I think most people would say they would rather have the relationship. I think you should go for it. She might be the love of your life? (even though you are young) Who knows?

Find out.

 

[CorvusCamenarum]

1> Go for her, most likely she already knows both of you like her; dont be surprised she play both of you for a quick laugh in the first 2 weeks, though jsut to see who's serious or more fun - whatever she's looking for.

If she does that, she's not worth it.

 

[MarkCollette]

Whoa! Damn... now Im mad!

Guess what I was just told!

Ok so over IM, the girls best friend just told me that my "friend" asked her to ask the girl to go with a movie all together, heres the best friends quoted conversion:

F= Friend

G'sF= Girl's friend
____

F: Hey want to go to a movie?

G'sF: Sure

F: Can you invite Julia (the girl) for me?

G'sF: Ok

G'sF: Want to invite someone else?

F: Sure, i guess, i dunno. Who?

G'sF: How bout Wes?

F: NO! Don't invite Wes! Absolutely not!

G'sF: Why not? Wes is tight. and he's so nice!

F: But he "Flirts w/ all the girls" and he likes Julia!
_________

Man, just cause I'm comfortable talking to girls doesnt mean I flirt with all of them! Luckly, Julia was out of town and couldnt go...


Now Im mad at him, and he technically asked first! I'm not sure if she knows though.

Maybe I should just ask "G'sF" out. lol.

Actually, that played out quite well for you.

G'sF said "sure" when F asked her to a movie, meaning that she either likes him, or just see's him as a friend. He made it plain that he's going for Julia and feels threatenned by you. She wanted you to come too, and when that fell through, G'sF sided with you by sending the IM conversation. Undoubtedly she's told Julia as well. So, in both Julia and G'sF's eyes you came out ahead from that exchange.

If you're confident that Julia would prefer you over him, then I recommend sitting back and letting F further mess things up on his own, say for another week or so. Then make your move on Julia, after he's been turned down. By not showing your hand yet, you keep open the option to go for G'sF.

 

[w_parietti22]

Ok... here's some more info... Julia keeps asking me, who I like. I told Catherine (G'sF) how I like Julia. So most likely, Julia knows. Now, it seems that she almost wants me to tell her... or maybe shes just being friendly. How do you think this falls into the equation?

 

[superbovine]

Ok... here's some more info... Julia keeps asking me, who I like. I told Catherine (G'sF) how I like Julia. So most likely, Julia knows. Now, it seems that she almost wants me to tell her... or maybe shes just being friendly. How do you think this falls into the equation?

girls like confidence... tell her...

 

[iBlue]

Perhaps.

I guess I just figure that, if this guy is a real friend, he wouldn't walk away over Wes asking out a girl. And, if he did, I question how good a friend he would be. Now, if Wes is the kind of guy who beds every girl in town and the friend has a hard time talking to girls, well, then I could see the friend's point of view. But I doubt that's the case, and the IM text seems to indicate that the friend is a bit of a snake, n'est pas?

Oh, and the friend who lost out to me (mentioned in my first - IIRC - post in this thread) for one girl had actually beaten me to the punch with another one three years earlier. That didn't work out for him, either, and we remained friends through it all.

i'm starting to see it that way too, sort of. i think that IM was really low; someone needs to tell that kid "hate the game, not the player" crickey!

Wes, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders - i'd venture to say that you're just more adept at communication than your friend but that does not excuse him being a bit of a backstabber, nor does it excuse his clear jealousy. if he is unhappy that he isn't as outgoing as you are then he has his own problems to deal with; don't feel bad for being who you are. (not that you do) don't be spiteful but don't allow his weaknesses to inhbit you either. talk to him and see what's up. while you're at it, maybe talk to julia too it sounds as though she's interested. there's definitely hope here!

 

[Sogo]

still seems to me that it's up to the *gasp* girl.

LIES!

 

[Lau]

Ok... here's some more info... Julia keeps asking me, who I like. I told Catherine (G'sF) how I like Julia. So most likely, Julia knows. Now, it seems that she almost wants me to tell her... or maybe shes just being friendly. How do you think this falls into the equation?

Tell her!

Her friend's almost definitely told her anyway.

 

[sushi]

Ok... here's some more info... Julia keeps asking me, who I like. I told Catherine (G'sF) how I like Julia. So most likely, Julia knows. Now, it seems that she almost wants me to tell her... or maybe shes just being friendly. How do you think this falls into the equation?

Oh the tangled web we weave...

Sushi

 

[efoto]

I think you'll find that women tend not to get "taken" so much as they decide to go where they please.

Upon further thought and inspection, I completely agree....although I still take pride for my non-influence because the guy was a douche-bag anyway

 

[SilentPanda]

hmmm....that angle never worked for me

Me neither...

 

[efoto]

Ok... here's some more info... Julia keeps asking me, who I like. I told Catherine (G'sF) how I like Julia. So most likely, Julia knows. Now, it seems that she almost wants me to tell her... or maybe shes just being friendly. How do you think this falls into the equation?

After reading that IM conversation, you are golden. Catherine obviously wanted you to come along which is good either way (either Julia likes you and she knew that, or she likes you). Then your friend wigged out and say 'no way' which doesn't help him out at all, looks very immature as he is supposed to be your friend.

As others have said, you have to tell her. Perhaps waiting for your friend to further screw things up is an option, but at this point in the game, where we are almost positive that Julia knows your feelings, it is better to talk to her about it directly and settle things. If you don't and you wait for your friend to screw up, she might take your lack of action as indecisiveness or perhaps that you changed your mind....Catherine obviously told her, so keep in mind that Julia does know exactly what you told Catherine

 

[MarkCollette]

Julia keeps asking you who you like? Tell her straight up it's her. No need to wait out your friend, since it seems that Julia's already chosen you.

On a side note, that should not change anything for you:

Has anyone noticed how girls always seem to be paired off so there's always a prettier one? Then the pretty one always gets all the attention, and the lesser has to sit by and force a smile? I've heard some guys say that they always go for the Beta chick since they're easier to get because of this. Personally, I've only gone for the Beta when they seem to be happier or are more real.

 

[w_parietti22]

Could this get any worse?

Ok... so today I asked Catherine and Arlene (another one of J's friends) if she knew... and supossedly, now she does.

Arlene's Point of View:

Catherine told Julia. Julia feels uncomfortable being friends now, and she doesn't totally want to go out cause what happens if we break up, she would still want to be friends w/ me, but she doesnt see how we could make that work.

Catherine's Point of View:

Julia guessed. She didnt tell. Julia and her don't talk about bf gf stuff.

Arlene's seems more likely, and now, Julia is probably uncomfortable around me. Great!

 

[efoto]

Julia keeps asking you who you like? Tell her straight up it's her. No need to wait out your friend, since it seems that Julia's already chosen you.

On a side note, that should not change anything for you:

Has anyone noticed how girls always seem to be paired off so there's always a prettier one? Then the pretty one always gets all the attention, and the lesser has to sit by and force a smile? I've heard some guys say that they always go for the Beta chick since they're easier to get because of this. Personally, I've only gone for the Beta when they seem to be happier or are more real.

The beauty is when they aren't paired pretty/ugly but rather gorgeous/pretty, then the 'beta' chick is still quite attractive but to the masses pales in comparison to the gorgeous friend. Then you can hit on the pretty girl and you make out like a bandit (since pretty girls are certainly booty (in the pirate funds meaning )) which is always a good thing

 

[efoto]

Ok... so today I asked Catherine and Arlene (another one of J's friends) if she knew... and supossedly, now she does.

Arlene's Point of View:

Catherine told Julia. Julia feels uncomfortable being friends now, and she doesn't totally want to go out cause what happens if we break up, she would still want to be friends w/ me, but she doesnt see how we could make that work.

Catherine's Point of View:

Julia guessed. She didnt tell. Julia and her don't talk about bf gf stuff.

Arlene's seems more likely, and now, Julia is probably uncomfortable around me. Great!

Not that big of a deal really, whether Catherine told her or not....point is she knows and that is what matters as far as you are concerned.

That excuse about not wanting to date you because 'if we break up then what? we won't be friends....blah blah" kiss my b***s women. I really hate it when girls say this. I have this with my best female friend right now too. She even admits to being in love with me but is hesitant start a relationship that is more than friends because if we do breakup then what?

My point of view....if the girls are already planning the breakup then it's damned from the beginning. If they have such little faith in your to-be relationship, then they aren't worth pursuing in the first place. Semi-funny part of it is, since she didn't want to pursue a relationship due to friendship issues, we now hardly maintain our friendship because it's so damn awkward knowing we want to date but she is too removed/fearful to start. Stupid girls....I'm off to finish my growler of porter now

 

[w_parietti22]

Not that big of a deal really, whether Catherine told her or not....point is she knows and that is what matters as far as you are concerned.

That excuse about not wanting to date you because 'if we break up then what? we won't be friends....blah blah" kiss my b***s women. I really hate it when girls say this. I have this with my best female friend right now too. She even admits to being in love with me but is hesitant start a relationship that is more than friends because if we do breakup then what?

My point of view....if the girls are already planning the breakup then it's damned from the beginning. If they have such little faith in your to-be relationship, then they aren't worth pursuing in the first place. Semi-funny part of it is, since she didn't want to pursue a relationship due to friendship issues, we now hardly maintain our friendship because it's so damn awkward knowing we want to date but she is too removed/fearful to start. Stupid girls....I'm off to finish my growler of porter now

Why are women so hard! We try and try and nothing works out.

 

[efoto]

Why are women so hard! We try and try and nothing works out.

Nice guys finish last
If you turn into an a**hole you'll get more poon than you could ever imagine, believe it. I have trouble being a complete dick to women, but by golly does it work and I don't even understand why.

Prime example:
I was out club-hoping, against my own will, with three girlfriends. We were going from club to club to club (four over the course of the night) and they just wanted to keep going because girls are always in free and they apparently didn't care about me having to pay $4 to $8 cover, so on we went. When we hit the third club I was so fed up with moving and paying all the time that I basically lost it at the bar on some poor girl who was actually hitting on me (her mistake I guess ). She comes up and short-story it goes like this:

• Girl: Hey, how are you? (post ordering two long-islands)
• Me: Fine, and you?
• Girl: blah blah blah, I'm fine, blah blah blah.... (it seriously sounded like that ). Are you here with someone?
• Me: Three slut-friends, but not a girlfriend if that's what you're asking.
• Girl: You don't have a girlfriend? You aren't dating anyone?
• Me: Girls are expensive, requiring both time and money....neither of which I have to spare currently. I like meeting new people and it's always fun to fool around (ha, no lectures please) but I don't date currently.
• Girl: I like your style, we should hangout sometime.
• Me: That's nice. Too bad though....I don't like your style, I think you should leave....now. (I know, harsh right?)

So you think after that last line I would be black-listed by all women in the club through their global telepathy we all know they have . In direct disagreement with what I thought, I actually got hit on again, twice!, and both women referenced my behavior/words towards the first girl. The first came up and said "so that was harsh....but she was a tool. You want to go somewhere and get a drink?" I about dropped my pants right there....but instead I asked her to leave, politely, as I was with friends and there were no dark alleys nearby.

Just goes to show you, being nice sucks and being an a**hole makes you a winner, but in the end you're still an a**hole, even though you won.

 

[MarkCollette]

Ok... so today I asked Catherine and Arlene (another one of J's friends) if she knew... and supossedly, now she does.

Arlene's Point of View:

Catherine told Julia. Julia feels uncomfortable being friends now, and she doesn't totally want to go out cause what happens if we break up, she would still want to be friends w/ me, but she doesnt see how we could make that work.

Catherine's Point of View:

Julia guessed. She didnt tell. Julia and her don't talk about bf gf stuff.

Arlene's seems more likely, and now, Julia is probably uncomfortable around me. Great!

Hahaha... First off, you keep talking to these other girls, instead of Julia herself, against what we all told you, so of course she feels uncomfortable.

Just talk to Julia and tell her that you want to go out with her because things are so cool between you. If things don't work out, no worries, you know that you'll always be friends no matter what.

****, half my chick friends are ex-girlfriends. It's ludicrous television-fantasy-land-logic to not go for someone you want because they're a good friend. Married couples are almost always each other's best friends.