Politeness on forums?

I couldn't agree more.

There are long term threads on MR that fit that description...the people who post are friendly, welcoming, supportive, helpful, and funny.

But, in truth, I can count those threads on one hand...and the rest are as you describe, quite unpleasant from my perspective.

One can still maintain one's own decency and respectful attitude even if others are not...but, admittedly, it's very difficult in the face of the frequent nastiness and rudeness one so often encounters.

 

I don't see much rudeness. I see skepticism, disagreement, and sarcasm in the PRSI frequently but that comes with the territory especially politics. There are several factors here, such as how you present yourself, possibly knowitall, opinionated? And what kind of reply you consider rude. "I disagree", "Your wrong", "You don't know what your talking about", "Your an idiot" (of which the latter I don't think is allowed by forum rules).

How about an example of a rude reply?

 

Thank you...

 

Spend some time in PRSI and you'll find the tone of all other threads akin to whispers from your lover.

 

I don't really see it. I see users(including myself) have a heated discussion with someone they absolutely disagree with in one thread, and in another thread they will be in agreeance. Really depends on the subject of the thread.

 

Just an example, mind you, (and I refuse to do this normally), is to be pedantic about misspelling or word usage errors (btw, you have 4 I won't point them out... ), and not referring to the topic at all. That will come off as being rude, in my book.

 

Compared to some other forums, this one is very well regulated. Not that it is perfect, but much much better than other forums.

 

I find it a really good and heart-warming forum. There are plenty of people here out to help other users with problems. There are from time to time heated debates, but nothing serious. I find at times 'blunt comments' can seem rude, but aren't intended that way. It's hard to express yourself through simple words.

Also, treating people like friends means a whole new thing to the younger generation, haha. You'd see people trashing everyone everywhere.

 

I see some sarcasm here and there, but for the most part we have a pretty great community. (And the sarcasm can be really funny at times)

 

I've met my fair share of great people on these forums... and in turn, even in heated political debates, I try to respect people here.

I think the internet gives people a sense of anonymity that brings out the worst.

 

Am example of a rude reply are the characteristics of a reply that would make it rude, not the reply itself. If this is too touchy to discuss then I'll just bow out of the discussion.

 

I have been here (under other user name jefhatfield, too) since MR's inception and it has gone through seasons of friendliness and rudeness. I started the PRSI before it had its own corner here.

It all depends on who is moderating, really.

Some posters here get past the filters and don't get banned yet they are far more rude than many of those who have been banned. PM me if you want to know who they are (predictably on PRSI but oddly in agreement with me, but then being rude just to be rude) .. or.. (type of person who sees green when you see green but then beat you up for also seeing it) so I can give you a heads up, but I won't mention them publicly since they are tight with mods for one reason or another.

 

Ah, an excellent topic for a thread, thank you for raising it, and, as it happens, I agree completely with you.

Lovely post. And yes, not for the first time, I find myself in complete agreement with what you have so eloquently expressed.

My very point. And, in expressing it thus, I think you are absolutely spot on.

 

I think some believe they are:

 

Just a bit ironic that many of the posters on this thread (not all, by any means, but many) are doing the very thing the OP points out is disappointing about many threads on the Forum.

It seems that for some, the concept of respectful disagreement, absent nasty sarcasm and rudeness, is anathema.

 

Rude and insulting posts that are against the rules do get removed.
Where exactly do you see rude and insulting posts?

 

As balmw pointed out above in his clearly and helpfully stated Mod Note...there are ways to be nasty and rude bumping up against the edge of the Rules, without going over the line.

I'm not sure if your question is serious...but just two examples of sub fora where nastiness often prevails are PRSI and the iPhone fora. It is my observation, for what it is worth, that many of the posts on PRSI are mean spirited and unpleasant in the name of open discussion. It is not necessarily the content, or idea, of the post that is problematic, but rather the form of expression that is unfortunate.

It would be disingenuous of me to act as if I am innocent of the use of irony. But I attempt, not always successfully, to keep the irony from being nasty, but rather as a comment on what I consider the absurdity of the post to which I respond. It is possible to be ironic without being insulting, disrespectful, or nasty. Sarcasm, however, and by definition, always conveys contempt.

 

As long as rules are respected, every individual has the right to express himself.
Forums contain posts, and everyone is free to ignore what one doesn't like.

You can open a forum and invite or allow only non nasty replies if you want. This is not the case for the vast majority of forums, MR's forums included.

It is allowed for people to post rude replies as long as they respect the rules. You can't force anyone to act in a civil way, or as to your own liking. It doesn't work that way.

So what? Can't posters express contempt through their posts, as long as rules are respected?

 

I'm not questioning anyone's right to express themselves. I'm also not saying that expressing contempt within the Rules is disallowed.

I am suggesting that it would, in my way of thinking, be far more pleasant to abjure contempt, rudeness, and disrespectful expression. It is just my antiquated notion that treating people politely and with a modicum of respect is more pleasant and pleasing than contemptuous and nasty expressions...even when they are within the Rules.

Just one old man's opinion of what makes life a bit more pleasant.