Politeness on forums?

whitedragon101

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Sep 11, 2008
1,235
257
I write on the forums here quite a lot and in almost every single thread people are rude and insulting. It just seems accepted. Casual rudeness/insults people just accept.

I think if people could write on a forum as if they were talking to a friend it would just make for a better environment.

I don't have a way of doing this but I just thought other people might feel the same way and want to chip in.:)
 

Shrink

macrumors G3
Feb 26, 2011
8,914
1,596
New England, USA
I write on the forums here quite a lot and in almost every single thread people are rude and insulting. It just seems accepted. Casual rudeness/insults people just accept.

I think if people could write on a forum as if they were talking to a friend it would just make for a better environment.

I don't have a way of doing this but I just thought other people might feel the same way and want to chip in.:)
I couldn't agree more.

There are long term threads on MR that fit that description...the people who post are friendly, welcoming, supportive, helpful, and funny.

But, in truth, I can count those threads on one hand...and the rest are as you describe, quite unpleasant from my perspective.

One can still maintain one's own decency and respectful attitude even if others are not...but, admittedly, it's very difficult in the face of the frequent nastiness and rudeness one so often encounters.
 

Huntn

macrumors demi-god
May 5, 2008
17,087
16,608
The Misty Mountains
I don't see much rudeness. I see skepticism, disagreement, and sarcasm in the PRSI frequently but that comes with the territory especially politics. There are several factors here, such as how you present yourself, possibly knowitall, opinionated? And what kind of reply you consider rude. "I disagree", "Your wrong", "You don't know what your talking about", "Your an idiot" (of which the latter I don't think is allowed by forum rules).

How about an example of a rude reply?
 

LIVEFRMNYC

macrumors 604
Oct 27, 2009
7,433
8,607
I don't really see it. I see users(including myself) have a heated discussion with someone they absolutely disagree with in one thread, and in another thread they will be in agreeance. Really depends on the subject of the thread.
 

DeltaMac

macrumors G3
Jul 30, 2003
9,536
2,304
Delaware
I don't see much rudeness. I see skepticism, disagreement, and sarcasm in the PRSI frequently but that comes with the territory especially politics. There are several factors here, such as how you present yourself, possibly knowitall, opinionated? And what kind of reply you consider rude. "I disagree", "Your wrong", "You don't know what your talking about", "Your an idiot" (of which the latter I don't think is allowed by forum rules).

How about an example of a rude reply?
Just an example, mind you, (and I refuse to do this normally), is to be pedantic about misspelling or word usage errors (btw, you have 4 :D I won't point them out... ), and not referring to the topic at all. That will come off as being rude, in my book.
 

ucfgrad93

macrumors P6
Aug 17, 2007
17,543
8,166
Colorado
Compared to some other forums, this one is very well regulated. Not that it is perfect, but much much better than other forums.
 

Xerotech

macrumors 6502
Jul 22, 2011
417
5
I find it a really good and heart-warming forum. There are plenty of people here out to help other users with problems. There are from time to time heated debates, but nothing serious. I find at times 'blunt comments' can seem rude, but aren't intended that way. It's hard to express yourself through simple words.

Also, treating people like friends means a whole new thing to the younger generation, haha. You'd see people trashing everyone everywhere.
 

lunaoso

macrumors 65816
Sep 22, 2012
1,331
50
Boston, MA
I see some sarcasm here and there, but for the most part we have a pretty great community. (And the sarcasm can be really funny at times:D)
 

TSE

macrumors 68030
Jun 25, 2007
2,988
575
St. Paul, Minnesota
I've met my fair share of great people on these forums... and in turn, even in heated political debates, I try to respect people here.

I think the internet gives people a sense of anonymity that brings out the worst.
 

63dot

macrumors 603
Jun 12, 2006
5,271
339
norcal
I have been here (under other user name jefhatfield, too) since MR's inception and it has gone through seasons of friendliness and rudeness. I started the PRSI before it had its own corner here.

It all depends on who is moderating, really.

Some posters here get past the filters and don't get banned yet they are far more rude than many of those who have been banned. PM me if you want to know who they are (predictably on PRSI but oddly in agreement with me, but then being rude just to be rude) .. or.. (type of person who sees green when you see green but then beat you up for also seeing it) so I can give you a heads up, but I won't mention them publicly since they are tight with mods for one reason or another. ;)
 

Scepticalscribe

macrumors Sandy Bridge
Jul 29, 2008
45,602
30,789
The Far Horizon
I write on the forums here quite a lot and in almost every single thread people are rude and insulting. It just seems accepted. Casual rudeness/insults people just accept.

I think if people could write on a forum as if they were talking to a friend it would just make for a better environment.

I don't have a way of doing this but I just thought other people might feel the same way and want to chip in.:)
Ah, an excellent topic for a thread, thank you for raising it, and, as it happens, I agree completely with you.

I couldn't agree more.

There are long term threads on MR that fit that description...the people who post are friendly, welcoming, supportive, helpful, and funny.

But, in truth, I can count those threads on one hand...and the rest are as you describe, quite unpleasant from my perspective.

One can still maintain one's own decency and respectful attitude even if others are not...but, admittedly, it's very difficult in the face of the frequent nastiness and rudeness one so often encounters.
Lovely post. And yes, not for the first time, I find myself in complete agreement with what you have so eloquently expressed.


I've met my fair share of great people on these forums... and in turn, even in heated political debates, I try to respect people here.

I think the internet gives people a sense of anonymity that brings out the worst.
My very point. And, in expressing it thus, I think you are absolutely spot on.
 
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Shrink

macrumors G3
Feb 26, 2011
8,914
1,596
New England, USA
Just a bit ironic that many of the posters on this thread (not all, by any means, but many) are doing the very thing the OP points out is disappointing about many threads on the Forum.

It seems that for some, the concept of respectful disagreement, absent nasty sarcasm and rudeness, is anathema.
 

balamw

Moderator
Staff member
Aug 16, 2005
19,075
963
New England
Am example of a rude reply are the characteristics of a reply that would make it rude, not the reply itself. If this is too touchy to discuss then I'll just bow out of the discussion.
MOD NOTE: What makes it touchy is that some will take it as a challenge to see how rude they can be and inevitably someone will cross the line either because they have not read the rules recently, on purpose or through escalation. ("If he could say X, then clearly I can say X+1!")

Clearly whitedragon101 had not read our rules, or they would have known that "corrections" posts are not allowed here.

Overall, our rules are designed to allow mostly free discussion on a wide variety of topics, but they are most certainly not designed to eliminate all forms of rudeness. Some posters can manage to be rude/sarcastic/etc... without actually crossing the line but that doesn't mean that they are "tight with the mods."

B
 

LostSoul80

macrumors 68020
Jan 25, 2009
2,133
6
Rude and insulting posts that are against the rules do get removed.
Where exactly do you see rude and insulting posts?
 

maflynn

Moderator
Staff member
May 3, 2009
63,860
30,383
Boston
Yes, there are rude people sometimes its clearly over the line and we moderators act on it as per our guidelines. Sometimes it may be harsh but not a rules violation and sometimes what one person considers rude other don't.

I think if more people followed the Rules for Appropriate Debate, we'd have less rude posts.

These rules and guidelines describe the acceptable and unacceptable ways to participate in a discussion in a MacRumors forum thread. These rules augment and clarify the general Forum Rules. Guidelines indicate the spirit of the rules. The Rules for Appropriate Debate are especially applicable to threads where there are strong or conflicting opinions, such as certain types of news and rumors discussions and debates in the Politics, Religion, Social Issues forum.

Respect

Guidelines: Show respect for your fellow posters. Expect and accept that other users may have strongly held opinions that differ from yours.

Rules:

  1. Name-calling. Name-calling falls into the category of insults and will be treated as such according to the forum rules, your own opinion about another member notwithstanding. You can't call a bigot a bigot, a troll a troll, or a fanboy a fanboy, any more than you can call an idiot an idiot. You can disagree with the content of another member's statement or give your evidence or opinion to dispute their claims, but you may not make a negative personal characterization about that member.
  2. Insults. Slurs and insults against groups of people based on negative-stereotyping and obvious generalizations fall into the category of trolling and will be treated as such.
  3. Taunting. Mocking or taunting another forum member is not acceptable. Posts that ridicule another member or obviously exaggerate or misstate their views may be removed.
 

Shrink

macrumors G3
Feb 26, 2011
8,914
1,596
New England, USA
Rude and insulting posts that are against the rules do get removed.
Where exactly do you see rude and insulting posts?
As balmw pointed out above in his clearly and helpfully stated Mod Note...there are ways to be nasty and rude bumping up against the edge of the Rules, without going over the line.

I'm not sure if your question is serious...but just two examples of sub fora where nastiness often prevails are PRSI and the iPhone fora. It is my observation, for what it is worth, that many of the posts on PRSI are mean spirited and unpleasant in the name of open discussion. It is not necessarily the content, or idea, of the post that is problematic, but rather the form of expression that is unfortunate.

It would be disingenuous of me to act as if I am innocent of the use of irony. But I attempt, not always successfully, to keep the irony from being nasty, but rather as a comment on what I consider the absurdity of the post to which I respond. It is possible to be ironic without being insulting, disrespectful, or nasty. Sarcasm, however, and by definition, always conveys contempt.
 
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LostSoul80

macrumors 68020
Jan 25, 2009
2,133
6
As balmw pointed out above in his clearly and helpfully stated Mod Note...there are ways to be nasty and rude bumping up against the edge of the Rules, without going over the line.

I'm not sure if your question is serious...but just two examples of sub fora where nastiness often prevails are PRSI and the iPhone fora. It is my observation, for what it is worth, that many of the posts on PRSI are mean spirited and unpleasant in the name of open discussion. It is not necessarily the content, or idea, of the post that is problematic, but rather the form of expression that is unfortunate.
As long as rules are respected, every individual has the right to express himself.
Forums contain posts, and everyone is free to ignore what one doesn't like.

You can open a forum and invite or allow only non nasty replies if you want. This is not the case for the vast majority of forums, MR's forums included.

It is allowed for people to post rude replies as long as they respect the rules. You can't force anyone to act in a civil way, or as to your own liking. It doesn't work that way.

It would be disingenuous of me to act as if I am innocent of the use of irony. But I attempt, not always successfully, to keep the irony from being nasty, but rather as a comment on what I consider the absurdity of the post to which I respond. It is possible to be ironic without being insulting, disrespectful, or nasty. Sarcasm, however, and by definition, always conveys contempt.
So what? Can't posters express contempt through their posts, as long as rules are respected?
 

Shrink

macrumors G3
Feb 26, 2011
8,914
1,596
New England, USA
As long as rules are respected, every individual has the right to express himself.
Forums contain posts, and everyone is free to ignore what one doesn't like.

You can open a forum and invite or allow only non nasty replies if you want. This is not the case for the vast majority of forums, MR's forums included.

It is allowed for people to post rude replies as long as they respect the rules. You can't force anyone to act in a civil way, or as to your own liking. It doesn't work that way.



So what? Can't posters express contempt through their posts, as long as rules are respected?
I'm not questioning anyone's right to express themselves. I'm also not saying that expressing contempt within the Rules is disallowed.

I am suggesting that it would, in my way of thinking, be far more pleasant to abjure contempt, rudeness, and disrespectful expression. It is just my antiquated notion that treating people politely and with a modicum of respect is more pleasant and pleasing than contemptuous and nasty expressions...even when they are within the Rules.

Just one old man's opinion of what makes life a bit more pleasant.:)
 

maflynn

Moderator
Staff member
May 3, 2009
63,860
30,383
Boston
It is just my antiquated notion that treating people politely and with a modicum of respect is more pleasant and pleasing than contemptuous and nasty expressions...even when they are within the Rules.
Foe me, its ok to disagree on a topic, but please be polite. As I stated, if more people treated others with respect then this discussion wouldn't be happening.

Disagreeing is ok, but why degrade a member or his idea or his post in the name of freedom of expression. To often people feel empowered because they're sitting behind a keyboard and not discussing the topic face to face.