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Question about girl and STDs.
- Thread starter MegaMillions
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^ No. I'm sorry to say that it is not that cut and dry. I've known quite a few people who have participated in oral sex but are still technically virgins by medical definition alone. So really ... there is no such thing in my eyes as "figure" when it comes to sex.
I say do whatever helps you sleep at night ... or not sleep if you catch my drift but this is a very adult decision that we've all had to or will have to make in our lives ... just be as safe as possible.
I say do whatever helps you sleep at night ... or not sleep if you catch my drift but this is a very adult decision that we've all had to or will have to make in our lives ... just be as safe as possible.
I'm assuming this is what she told you, not what they told you?
Even if it's true, it only means that the guys were either uneducated about the health issues involved, or they were immature.
Her getting tested is sensible even if the two of your weren't getting together.
This may have already been mentioned, I didnt read the whole thread... but condoms dont keep you safe from all STDs. Just ask her to do the test, so what if it's invasive.... as said she should be having yearly(ish) checkups that are just as invasive anyway.
-Wear a condom.
-Make sure you put it on properly (if it's your first time, make sure you've got a couple of spares in case you tear it). Buy a box of 6 or 12, some lube*, and practice beforehand (no need for lube for training).
-Use lube*.
-Avoid dangerous practices.
-Keep your expectations low
*Make sure it's condom safe. Most are, but still. Get it in a pharmacy, sex-shop, or some other respectable place.
-Make sure you put it on properly (if it's your first time, make sure you've got a couple of spares in case you tear it). Buy a box of 6 or 12, some lube*, and practice beforehand (no need for lube for training).
-Use lube*.
-Avoid dangerous practices.
-Keep your expectations low
*Make sure it's condom safe. Most are, but still. Get it in a pharmacy, sex-shop, or some other respectable place.
It blows my mind how strangely these transactions go down. In my experience, you go to a bar meet a girl and make some bad decisions. Where are you coming from that people, who apparently are not in "relationships" have these transactional habits: "Oh, I want to sleep with you but I want to be safe, without using adequate protection, but also don't want to get tested myself, however I will have three sexual partners in three months after just popping my cherry."
I have seen quite a bit of strange thinking as far as these things are concerned, but that story ranks fairly close to the top. If you came into my clinic we'd have a little talk.
First of all I'd have to assume you're a liar, or at least unwilling to be completely truthful. Let's face it, sex is an extremely personal topic and many people are uncomfortable talking about it even with their physician. A few weeks back I had a high school girl come in with all the signs of early pregnancy who denied having sex multiple times before I asked "when was the last time a penis was in your vagina" at which point she said two weeks ago. Its hard to help if you're not honest, and impossible to help if you're not cooperative.
Next I'd try to figure out your maturity: I would like to know how old you are, the background you're coming from, and what your thoughts about sex are. I would like to know what your intentions are for sleeping with her (relationship vs. sexual conquest vs. wanting to lose your virginity). Serious emotional problems, social problems, and health problems can come from intercourse. This can be internal battles especially if religious beliefs are involved, to family strain, to the emotional fallout of people confusing sex with love without proper prior emotional development, to impulsivity and dangerous behavior associated with some psychiatric conditions.
I'd assume that you're ignorant about sexually transmitted infections, instead of trying to tease out what you do and do not know, and give you the basics.
- STI's are common in young sexually active persons. (At the high school just up the road from my hospital, there is a 15% incidence of chlamydia/gonorrhea! That's across all active and non-sexually active students)
- The more partners you have, the more likely you are to be exposed to infection.
- Infections can have a whole range of presentations from entirely silent to raging short term symptoms to long term immune or neurological damage.
- Only some STI's can be cured, others are simply treated (which means you have it forever).
- Some STI's can be life threatening if untreated (which goes back to the maturity assessment, and trying to assess whether you are likely to present for treatment if you do get something).
- Proper protection includes a myriad of things including, but not limited to proper condom use.
And finally, I would say that testing helps, but its the timing of the testing that is the most important. Syphillis and Gonorrhea may present early enough. Chlamydia may be silent. HIV will not manifest for weeks to months on a test. HPV and Herpes are frequently found when they cause warts and sores respectively. And there's a whole host of other things that you could possibly pick up (the testing initially only covers the more common ones).
Sorry if that sounded upset, but in some respects it is, because you are 1) asking medical advice on an internet forum for computer stuffs, 2) relating a story that overtly describes bad judgement, 3) this crap happens to too many people purely because they haven't been properly educated on good hygiene.
Wear a condom.
Make sure you put it on properly (if it's your first time, make sure you've got a couple of spares in case you tear it).
Use lube.
Buy a box of 6 or 12, some lube, and practice beforehand (no need for lube for training). Avoid dangerous practices. Keep your expectations low
Exactly. The way some people here are talking, you'd think STDs fly through the air and attack you. Just be sensible and careful, and it'll be fine.
How do you know for sure that the guy is clean? Did you see his tests? People lie all the time about STD's.
You might even trust the girl, but do you trust those guys?
Thanks for the info. I do know plenty about sex and STDs and that's why i'm taking every precaution. I don't know how you managed to spin a perfectly normal and sensible story into something so negative that you could so harshly judge. People have sex, and if they're smart, they avoid contracting STDs. I know how it works.
Thanks again.
Well, you are being kind of naive. You were asking if there was anything to worry about if those two guys were clean. But how do you know that for sure? Do you trust them?
No I don't. That's why I was asking for advice here. I was generally leaning in the direction of requiring her to get tested herself, but I just wanted a second opinion.
This seems like a long overcomplicated process just to lose the V tag.
I think if it were meant to happen it would just happen - all this hesitation probably means that someone is not ready to make it happen and it should be avoided all together.
My $0.02.
As Trojan says: Don't be an animal. Evolve.
I think if it were meant to happen it would just happen - all this hesitation probably means that someone is not ready to make it happen and it should be avoided all together.
My $0.02.
As Trojan says: Don't be an animal. Evolve.
I would judge that based on your previous posts, and the fact that you even created this thread that you clearly don't know plenty.
Jeez! Everyone has doubts! The guy's a virgin for god's sake! Of course there are things he doesn't know about and things that make him nervous. Talking about it beforehand shouldn't get you raked over the coals! He made the decision you wanted him to, and you're still not happy. Would it make you happier if he came in and talked about it after the fact instead?
God- you people are so judgmental. It really takes me by surprise sometimes. Stop getting on people for doing the right thing and asking questions and wanting a little support.
Condoms are never 100% safe. Herpes is transmitted skin to skin and doesn't need full genital to genital contact. Never assume second hand information is as good as first hand information. In otherwords, she should get herself tested.
Unless if she's willing to get checked out herself, there's no guarantee that she doesn't have an STD.
Oh, and don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
Oh, and don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
Use a condom, you'll be fine. Just don't kill her teddybear with your moneyshot like on American Pie.
Unless if she has herpes or some or STD by skin contact. Then you better damn well be wearing a full body hazmat suit.
Condoms are not 100% fullproof. End of story. Only way to guarantee not getting an STD is by not having sex.
Er... did you see what his reply was to the guy who gave the long, good advice? I directed my comment at his reply to that. Its good that he is asking, but someone gave good, thought out advice to him and he said he already knew plenty. If thats the case, why did he even ask?
That long, informative post, was extremely negative, and basically made it sound like no matter who you have sex with, or how you have sex, there will most likely be negative consequences, and a high chance of STDs.
The writer of that post also misinterpreted and put a negative spin on the situation between me and this girl.
Since there's a 99.99% chance that this girl is clean, AND she's going to get tested before we do it, there is a 99.99% chance that we will have a great, mutually enjoyable experience, most likely ongoing for a while. That poster made it sound like it's almost impossible to have a fun, consequence free sexual relationship, and I know that that's not the case at all.
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