No problem, It seems to be one of those threads/topics that once people accomplish their goal they aren't willing to help anyone else do it and it should be obvious to anyone who wants to do it how, anyone who can't get it is inferior/stupid. This isn't the rule, a few people have been kind enough to help me out. From what I've seen the delayed activation issue has something to do with the IMEI's history on that particular phone. However if you get on the phone with someone, Instead of just having them remove the data plan for you, keep asking to speak to a supervisor or just a different associate even, someone knowledgable enough will be able to do the whole process for you.
edit:
are they telling you that the activation is delayed, they can see it in their system but it isn't getting completed, or they have no record of it, pointing to the activation process in iTunes failing really early on.