God, I’m already picturing this WWDC keynote in my head.
First those numbers about how many people are on ios and mac os. Things are going great. We sold more phones and macs than ever before. But we are not gonna tell you anything about the ****** keyboards in the macbook pro because we dont really care. The iPads have changed the way we educate in schools. Kids love it. Here are some numbers. Blablabla. So much creativity. Don’t get me started about AR Kit. The 1 year anniversary. So much stuff made already with ARKit, its great. It has changed peoples lives. Then comes a video of ARKit.
Then ios:
First Apple Maps, which comes now with newer and better features nobody cares about and contains stuff Google Maps already has.
Then there is Siri, which is slightly smarter and is now able to respond to you in a slightly less ******** way but still quite ****. Oh yeah this ‘Siri’ update is coming this fall. When? Not telling you because we at apple don’t really know either, but we kinda had to release it due to amazon alexa and google ai.
Then animoji:
People love animoji. People made entire videoclips with them. Its great. Heres a compilation of animoji music videos flying around on the web. Oh yeah and were releasing 6 more skins this fall. You’ll love it.
Then there is mac os and specially for all you lovely developers out there.... there is Dark mode. Then Craig starts bragging out dark mode for 35 minutes with some lame programmer jokes to keep dem devs happy in the room.
Then icloud, more safe secure and more reliable than ever before. Finally announcing the first 50gb icloud storage for free.
Then one more thing.. people hoping its new laptop but nope..
It’s the iphone se2. Smaller, better, more fantastic than ever before. Then comes jony with some bragging about how difficult the design process was while making it. Only 900 dollars. Available today.
Then some random band comes on the stage. Happy wwddc week everyone!