I'm ready to cut my sister out of my first-tier life, after 8 months of not receiving an apology from her.
She & her bf have always been against the COVID vaccine, but she finally had to get it last November. She made the fatal mistake of not only telling our parents, but also telling them to keep it a secret - she didn't want me to know, because I had told her several times over last year that getting the vaccination would be inevitable.
Turns out our Dad was dying, having succumbed to severe heart blockage. And I had a right to know that she & her bf were taking precautions to prevent Dad from being exposed to COVID when they were around; and I also had a right to know that I didn't have to worry about her about getting a bad case of COVID as much, since she had gotten vaccinated. And she has a responsibility as a family member to not keep secrets about such things. Like Mom said - we never keep secrets from each other, especially that of our well-being (or not).
When I confronted her about it after Christmas, she blew up and said that she refused to talk about it and that she would leave immediately if she was pushed about it (she's 50 years old, mind you). I didn't want a blow-up the day after Christmas while we were all gathered at our family house, so I shut up about it. I was ready to confront her after the holidays, knowing that she would blow up and we would be fighting, and that Dad was the only one in our family strong enough to eventually mend fences between my sister and I.
Dad passed away early this year (thankfully COVID was not listed as a cause on his death certificate, or I probably would have used that against her), and I've let things go to be sure that Mom didn't have the added stress of family fighting on top of Dad's death.
My sister's bf is always taunting me about politics (he just can't help himself), and I told her that I would no longer engage them on the subject - in order to keep peace in the family; and I've successfully stood my ground by not engaging him. But lately, I find myself directing the energy I use to keep my mouth shut over to that of realizing that she never apologized to me for trying to cut me out of family business that relates to the health and well-being of my family (that she got vaccinated and told my parents not to say anything).
And my strength to overlook what she had done is weakening - that she never apologized to me is unfinished business, in my mind. And I find myself holding it against her.
^ I know, pretty heavy stuff; but it has strongly been on my mind lately - as this message topic requests. Thanks for letting me vent!