He says that cost is not part of the equation. I tell him it is. Apple is more about maximizing profits: there where other companies would immediately have put in 512 MB RAM in the first generation iPad, Apple decided to put in 256 MB of RAM to save costs.
Use any first generation iPad. You'll find out it runs out of memory
all the time. You can barely load two or three pages without them refreshing automatically all the time. And multitasking? At best a few apps that will stay in memory.
Hardware
always stays important. Of course manufacturers use it for marketing. "Super AMOLED Plus Extreme" sounds great... because it's
super AMOLED... the plus variant... and the extreme variant. But at some point we'll have more power processors in our smartphones - not just for marketing, but because the Operating Systems become more demanding. Apps become more demanding (think about more advanced games, or augmented reality becoming even more advanced).
RAM is one of the critical things for iOS to run smooth. An iPhone 4S with 256 MB of RAM would run terrible. Apple gave the first generation iPad just 256 MB of RAM - the device was released in April of 2010. At that point, they were long aware that iOS 4 would get multitasking. At that point, they knew an iOS device with more RAM would be able to deal better with multitasking (after all, the iPhone 4
did get 512 MB of RAM).
Apple is in no way holy to me. They make great products, but I do believe that sometimes Apple prefers to bring down the price of a product with $1 instead of making a product run (even) smoother.
EDIT
And oh, the links you asked for.
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https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/914175/
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https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/904353/
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https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/898131/
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https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/967493/
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http://www.ifans.com/forums/threads/stop-safari-auto-refresh.306343/
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https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/889756/
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http://www.mactalk.com.au/57/83140-256m-ram-not-enough-ipad.html
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https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/1031798/
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http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1719147