Your help on this positively crazy relationship

[GfPQqmcRKUvP]

Oh. My. God.

She said we couldnt be together because were to close.

She doesn't like you.

She said not to outrule a relationship with her and that she just isnt ready to have one with me YET. I said again yet? and questioned her on it and she just said yes..Yet.

She's stringing you along.

I asked her, so do you want me to wait for you?

If she liked you, she wouldn't be saying no to your repeated advances and would be dating you instead of that other guy.

but she just doesnt want to have one with me yet because were so close.. What do you guys think this means?

She doesn't like you.

By the way i'v cut contact but i'd still like to know. I wasted 5 years of my life on this god dam **** so.

NO, you haven't cut contact. You just contacted her and begged for her even though we ALL KNOW she doesn't like you in that way. She's a bad friend, she'd be a bad GF, and she doesn't like you. All you're doing now is hurting yourself. Stop it, for your own good.


I don't think you're understanding what cutting contact means. That means you don't talk to her. You don't hang out with her. And while you'll still think about her, you won't be doing that as much as the weeks roll on. Delete her number from your phone, delete her screen name, just cut ties. She's a bad friend and a bad candidate to be your girlfriend. Seriously.

 

[mgacam2]

already deleted and blocked her from msn, just gotta cut ties with her family since i work for them aka quit my job. That happens on sunday in person. Dont tell me what i have or havn't done.I asked for an opinion on what she said not what I said.

 

[floyde]

already deleted and blocked her from msn, just gotta cut ties with her family since i work for them aka quit my job. That happens on sunday in person. Dont tell me what i have or havn't done.I asked for an opinion on what she said not what I said.

I wish you good luck man, you're making the right choice. It wont be as bad as you think.

 

[MacNut]

I wish you good luck man, you're making the right choice. It wont be as bad as you think.

He may be making the right choice but he is going at it the wrong way. Grow up and act like a man, don't pull these childish stunts. You got rejected move on, don't run and hide. You made yourself look bad and now you are trying to save face and blaming her.

 

[mgacam2]

explain childish stunts?

 

[MacNut]

explain childish stunts?

You get drunk and tell her you love her, she says no you keep going at it. Then you realize that you look like a fool so now you are blaming her for rejecting you. So now you are going to quit your job because she rejected you. Why are you blocking her, she should be blocking you. It might make you feel better but you need to take some blame here.

 

[mgacam2]

Wait what? I'v been having issues with this for a long time, i made a previous thread talking about how i want to break our friendship because it hurts. I got drunk like a week after and told her not purposely. I figured I'd use it as the push to get my final idea across so i called her up and told her maturely and confidently that even though i was drunk thats not how i wanted to do it so i did it sober. I was rejected, I wanted to move on for the longest time. I was looking for closure. I needed closure. People can't bottle strong feelings up like that. Learn all the facts before calling me childish, because as far as I can see the most childish part was my holding on for 5 years, not getting drunk and telling her how i feel. That wasn't purposeful.

 

[MacNut]

Some people you are just not meant to be anything more then friends. You should have known that you don't have relationships with close friends ever. Don't even bring it up. Swallow your pride and let it go. Don't even tell her, if she likes you she would have made a move sooner. If you felt such an attraction why didn't you tell her sooner in the relationship. Don't wait 5 years to make a move, by that time it is too late. If I find a girl attractive I will tell her right away. Not build a friendship then say oh by the way I want to have sex with you

 

[mgacam2]

You make it sound like a woman is the only one with a choice in the matter of friendzone to relationship transistions. Incorrect.

 

[MacNut]

You make it sound like a woman is the only one with a choice in the matter of friendzone to relationship transistions. Incorrect.

Once it gets to friendzone it is over. You have no chance once you reach that point. It is like going over spike stripes, once you hit them you can't go back.

 

[Teh Don Ditty]

Some people you are just not meant to be anything more then friends. You should have known that you don't have relationships with close friends ever. Don't even bring it up. Swallow your pride and let it go. Don't even tell her, if she likes you she would have made a move sooner. If you felt such an attraction why didn't you tell her sooner in the relationship. Don't wait 5 years to make a move, by that time it is too late. If I find a girl attractive I will tell her right away. Not build a friendship then say oh by the way I want to have sex with you

I disagree. I recently told my close friend of 6 years how I felt. She said no (as expected) and I dealt with it. It's better to get it off your chest. I'm still friends with her because I realized it's better to have her in my life than not at all.

It just seems that he just can't handle the truth. It also doesn't help she's being very manipulative as well.

 

[MacNut]

I disagree. I recently told my close friend of 6 years how I felt. She said no (as expected) and I dealt with it. It's better to get it off your chest. I'm still friends with her because I realized it's better to have her in my life than not at all.

It just seems that he just can't handle the truth. It also doesn't help she's being very manipulative as well.

The problem is he won't take no, he is still pushing the issue and doesn't even want to be friends with her anymore. So he ruined the relationship further.

I'm not saying that friends cant become more, but it has to be a gradual thing, not one day say hey I love you.

 

[Iscariot]

already deleted and blocked her from msn, just gotta cut ties with her family since i work for them aka quit my job. That happens on sunday in person. Dont tell me what i have or havn't done.I asked for an opinion on what she said not what I said.

Good for you.

Seriously.

 

[mgacam2]

I disagree. I recently told my close friend of 6 years how I felt. She said no (as expected) and I dealt with it. It's better to get it off your chest. I'm still friends with her because I realized it's better to have her in my life than not at all.

It just seems that he just can't handle the truth. It also doesn't help she's being very manipulative as well.

How did you handle the friendship deal? I guess anything that would happen is gonna be from her then eh? And what about jealousy how are you gonna handle that?

 

[floyde]

So he ruined the relationship further.

What relationship? The girl was taking advantage of the OP, and she was doing so in a very conscious way too. There is nothing ruined by the OP moving away from this situation.

 

[MacNut]

How did you handle the friendship deal? I guess anything that would happen is gonna be from her then eh? And what about jealousy how are you gonna handle that?

You move on, nothing you can do about who she dates. Just be a good friend and support her.

 

[Teh Don Ditty]

How did you handle the friendship deal? I guess anything that would happen is gonna be from her then eh? And what about jealousy how are you gonna handle that?

Afterwards, it's essentially the same as it was before I told her. Nothing changed. She was really cool about it. I was kinda realistic about my chances (thus expecting a no), but it still kinda hurt. It does get better. I still love her (as a friend, she's more like family), but I'm not in love with her anymore.

In hindsight, it was a waste of my time holding what I felt. But, it was totally worth telling it to her. I'm actually working on a new girl now

Honestly, in your case, you'd be better of without her. She brings nothing to the relationship, she uses you. You don't want that (anymore).

Jealousy, eh. Whatever. She can date whoever she wants. She does usually runs the guy by me anyway to see how I feel (I honestly give an unbiased answer).

The bottom line is (and I've told her this), All I wanna do is see you happy. If you being happy doesn't include me in your life, then so be it.

 

[Keebler]

good on you for cutting ties MGA.

If she had wanted a relationship, you would have had one with her.
It hurts now, but won't later. lots of women out there and when you least expect it, you may just meet 'the one'....or in the least, meet someone who will respect you much better.

best of luck,
keebler

ps. some of our posts have come with a harsh tone....hope you get it that we're just trying to help.

 

[MarkCollette]

Congrats on your steps you've just taken. You have my well wishes.

 

[iBlue]

Well i ended up talking to her about it all. Told her I loved her, told her it hurt to not be with her and that i wanted to be with her. She said we couldnt be together because were to close. I told her shes bs and to tell me the brutal truth and she stood by her answer no matter how many times i asked. She also told me that shes also dating a guy at the moment and was hiding it from me. But she kept saying but don't worry its not serious. I asked her why do you tell me to not worry. She said not to outrule a relationship with her and that she just isnt ready to have one with me YET. I said again yet? and questioned her on it and she just said yes..Yet. I asked her, so do you want me to wait for you? I asked it implying to her i wouldnt though. She said no. And yeah she also told me that it wasnt because i was inadaqute because she thinks im good looking charming funny etc but she just doesnt want to have one with me yet because were so close.. What do you guys think this means? By the way i'v cut contact but i'd still like to know. I wasted 5 years of my life on this god dam **** so.

I agree with what badandy said. (in case you wanted to hear it from a girl)

Girls never ever treat guys they want to be with the way she has treated you. You are her meal ticket, something to leave on the backburner and maybe tend to when the chips are down. She'll discard you like nothing every single time another guy comes along that she is interested in. Like everyone pegged a long time ago. SHE IS USING YOU. She is not even your friend. She is just some headcase who will consistently treat you poorly for as long as you let her.

I'm glad to see you've done your part to try and sever ties. It really is for the best. You'll be so much better off without that nonsense.