It's alright, you paid pretty penny for this phone, so, you better like it.
I can unlock with Touch ID my iPhone without having to look precisely into the screen, horizontal, vertical, getting it out of my pocket, etc. TouchID is faster than FaceID because the flexibility it gives you on how to use it.
This is not even a discussion, it's a fact. Also, Apple going to put 2 FaceID on the upcoming iPads so you can unlock horizontal?
FaceID on the MacBook or iMac would be quite alright though, even very convenient. The screen is already facing you at square almost all the time anyway.
So, right technology on the wrong device. When FaceID can work at any orientation and gets placed behind the screen (no pedestrian notch), I may consider it. In the meantime, nice try

, keep trying.