A little humour given the insanity of our current times, read in Tim Cook’s voice. lol
Apple in 2026 understands these are difficult times and we’re providing the best products to make life even richer all powered by the new Siri AI. Apple has never been better and today we’re excited to announce bolder prices. From Mac Mini’s to iPhones, now you can have the same devices for twenty, thirty, even forty percent more! Find the best gas prices, save on groceries, cut your expenses, negotiate bills and loans, even build your CV and find employment with our powerful Apple Intelligence all on our best products yet!
Document and share your life with the new powerful iPhone starting at only $1999. Whether grocery shopping or your children's cries that Santa isn’t coming this year, capture it all with our new camera. Capture the memories of ramen noodle dinners with incredible noodle texture and rich broth even in the lowest candlelight and share it all faster on Instagram using Apple’s new custom developed modem!
Photo and video editing is even better with Apple Intelligence on our new iMac’s for only $5499. Pair our entry Mac mini desktop for only $2999 with our award winning Studio Display for the bold new price of $2999 and create a versatile desktop experience. Professionals and enthusiasts are in luck as our new Mac Studio with Apple’s incredible Apple Silicon can edit your staycation videos and photos at mind blowing speeds for only $5999. Create the ultimate workflow with the old M3 Ultra, Apple’s most powerful and game changing system, starting at a mere $7999.
Staycation with our Apple Vision Pro for only $14999 and immerse yourself in someone else’s holiday with Apple’s patented augmented reality experience! Take that trip to South America you cancelled to afford groceries and rent without ever leaving your living room. With Apple TV SharePlay, enjoy our award winning Apple TV series and films and laugh and cry and cry with loved ones and save money on gas.
Here at Cupertino we’ve been working hard to ensure the unparalleled Apple experience we’re known for remains our top priority. We know times are hard and we continue to offer flexible solutions with the Apple Card at a newly competitive 5% interest rate. As AI improves our lives at your expense, we are here for you.