I need it spelled out. Is this problem because Apple are acting differently in Europe than America, or becasue the Europeans are acting tougher?
Europeans are being tougher. If Apple doesn't find a company that wants to directly support the iphone, they will release it as an unlocked cellphone, sold in any apple store, just like ipods. Then, when the iPhone starts getting marketshare, cellphone carriers will be interested in making some kind of deal, implementing visual voicemail, etc.
For me this is good, since I don't live in the US, and the only way I can get an iPhone is wating until it is released unlocked.