Yep. That deep down type of pain. The kind where you feel that your heart was ripped out of your rib cage right before your eyes and is pulsating in her hand while you stand there in aghast agony.
Then again, I wouldn't know...
To be cheated on does hurt like that, especially with a longer term
relationship, it's not the sweaty night of passion they had, more the lie told and deceit that follows an incident such as this , usually.
The wink at the end their seems to me to imply something, but I'm nt quite sure what ...hmmm* ponders
What a self-righteous lot most of you are — the indignation and condemnation is almost biblical in proportions…
I have to wonder how many of the ones loudest in their cries of
"Now way! Never forgive or forget" have even been within sniffing distance of any lasting relationship — and no your hand doesn't count.
Yes, people "cheat".
Sh*t happens.
If it is a worthwhile relationship you resolve your issues and you may even be surprised to find your relationship has strengthened.
Sir , the only people who cheat are those who either have no morals or cannot control themselves and if you cannot control yourself then you have few morals.
The cheater may feel a stronger bond with the person they cheated on if they actually have feelings for a partner and realize the mistake but I doubt very much that someone who has had this happen to them feels a stronger bond
I would hold the opposite view.
A casual relationship can easily be given up… it is the long term ones that are worth fighting for.
I think that is what he was saying.
True, but the fact that we're often slaves to how we feel (meaning we usually can't just decide to feel something contrary to what comes naturally) can be a blessing or a curse.
For me, the betrayal of a cheater was hard to deal with. The betrayal of her lying about it was far, far worse to me - unforgivable, in fact.
I agree, lying is the worst.
Control of self is key, many people these days don't have any such control be it with relationships, food, alcohol, drugs........
All of which absolute, definitive and uncompromising assertions fail to take into account the ups and downs of all relationships over time. Would all of you similarly disown and cut off a child who made a mistake? The green-eyed monster has allied itself with a comic book vigilantism to produce a merciless and unforgiving brand of binary morality to which I very much doubt its purveyors adhere themselves. A policy of "One strike and you're out" produces a lot of people who are "out" and a lot of people who are needlessly unhappy. It is unrealistic, self-inflicted, serial abandonment based on a mythological purity.
No, a child is at point of learning in the world and as such is absolved from similar treatment to an adult who makes a 'mistake' , now if said child was to continue making the same mistake different action would be needed such as further explanation as to why what they did was 'wrong' and help to correct that behavior would be forthcoming, again , an adult is grown and as such should be more able to know 'right' from 'wrong' hence why law dictates children are sometimes 'let off' from crime or given more education on the issue were an adult would be punished.
Generally those affected with the ' green eyed monster' are usually control freaks of one sort or another and tend to try and control more than just who a person sleeps with.
Skunk: "A policy of "One strike and you're out" produces a lot of people who are "out" and a lot of people who are needlessly unhappy. It is unrealistic, self-inflicted, serial abandonment based on a mythological purity."
I agree with this to a point but I don not believe purity is mythological , it is all down to self control.
I have been married for 20 years and can honestly say I have never cheated on my wife, I maybe old fashioned at 48 years old but when you get married it is for life, it takes a lot of work sometimes and it's up's and down's but I would never put in danger my relationship with my wife because I love her to much. If she cheated on me that love would be so damaged I could never continue with her and most probably would never have another relationship again: Old fashioned as hell but thats me Sorry.
I applaud you, but never say never , and no need to apologize for anything
I'm not comparing the relationship so much as the judgmentalism. This can be seen in many threads about the death penalty, and those about gun ownership too, curiously enough: there is a great tendency to claim "Oh, I could never do that", "He/she had it coming", "Put them all to death/ hang them out to dry/throw them out".
"Judge not your fellow man"..now I'm not religious in the traditional sense we have in today's society but
some good lessons are taught in religion.
That said , I would not forgive a lie. Cheating maybe but lying no, and all too often with this type of situation we're discussing lying is prevalent.
