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Can you forgive someone for cheating on you?

No.

I've always felt, if you are going to cheat on someone, why hide it and live a lie? Just come out with the truth and let the other person move on with their life. If it is some drunken one-time deal, come clean. Office fling, come clean. Anything, just be honest but be prepared to lose your other half.

And to me, emotional cheating is just as bad as physical.

Oh and if you know you can't be faithful, let the other person know that its an open relationship so that both can play outside. ;)
 
my boyfriend just told me last night that he cheated on me 2 days before. He was really drunk and this stupid girl came on to him and it lead to well... im sure you can figure it out. He cried and doesnt expect me to take him back. He says he regrets it more than anything hes ever done! and will never do it again cuz it made him feel so horrible.

I know i can forgive him. Its the question of should I that is the problem. Overall he is the better boyfriend ive ever had. Hes not perfect not even close. Not even before this situation was he. The fact is is that i dont want to lose him. I dont think i can break up with him... He means too much to me even after all this. I may not be able to trust him for a very long time... But should i forgive him and take him back? We've been together for almost 2 years now... i dont want the last 2 years of my life to have been a complete waste of time.
 
^ It's good that he told you rather than you finding out. That is a good sign.

As for wasting time, it's better to waste the last two years than wasting the following 5, 10, 20, etc.

Once a cheater, the chances are that they will cheat again. Always keep that in the back of your mind.
 
oh thanks for bringing this thread back to life ..............

Let me ask this: If you have suspicions a partner is cheating , what would you do if you asked them and the deny it , yet the feeling you have suggests they are lying


@dkgnm: dump him , it's difficult , believe me ! don't fall for the tears and tantrums they mean nothing!... mostly it is a game to cheaters to see how long they can hold on to you for .

Give it a few months to find you again . under no circumstances have anything to do with the cheater . not even a phone call !! for at least 6 months .

It will give you total clarity of mind and remove the emotional ties enabling you to make the right decision for you.

if the other person means what they say " I'll not do it again blah blah blah", they will agree, chances are a month or so later you will hear on the grape vine that they have met someone new .
 
Chances are he will cheat again but that's a good sign of character that he told you. At least he's honest and if I were you I'd stay friends with him.
 
marbles said:
Let me ask this: If you have suspicions a partner is cheating , what would you do if you asked them and the deny it , yet the feeling you have suggests they are lying
.
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Trust you gut instinct.
Get them to sit down , where there are no distraction and ask them with direct eye contact if they have cheated on you
watch their eyes and body language, if their eyes shift to side, they are lying, if down then something is off. if maintain eye contact or close eyes and dont fidget with hands then prob telling the truth
 
Once I have forgiven a girl cheating on me, but once she did that, things were never the same again, and it all went worse from then on. I have decided never to forgive such a thing again.

-J
 
Is it cheating if she dumps you for a month, hooks up with 2 guys, and then wants to get back together? Always kinda felt like it to me, although I guess it doesn't really qualify

Seems like cheating with validity
 
dkgnm said:
my boyfriend just told me last night that he cheated on me 2 days before....He says he regrets it more than anything hes ever done! and will never do it again cuz it made him feel so horrible.

I know i can forgive him.
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Here's the thing with me, and I've discussed this with my wife and with friends:

Cheating is wrong. Covering it up or lying about it are absolutely reprehensible.

Your boyfriend told on himself, and kudos to him for doing it relatively promptly. I think if it were me, it would be much easier for me to deal with, "Hey, listen, a couple of nights ago I did this, and it was stupid, and I feel bad about it," and so on - than for me to find out that (1) it had happened, and (2) it had been concealed from me.

My ex-wife did cheat on me, and I moved out and filed for divorce - the difference being she had done it several times with the same guy, I found out about it myself rather than from her, and she initially denied it. That's a triple-whammy in my mind, all of which point to someone who really isn't sorry they screwed up (or in her case, thinks she didn't screw up).

Not saying it would be easy to forgive my wife if she cheated on me; but I definitely wouldn't forgive her if she lied about it, or was otherwise not forthcoming with me. It's the proverbial difference between "I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry I got caught."

Just my 2 cents.
 
No. If the person cheats on you willingly, they don't really love you. If they are under the influence of XYZ, then they have another problem but still don't deserve another chance.

Even if you try to work things out, it will either be weird between you and the other person or you will fool yourselves into thinking everything is good when it's not.

Cheating isn't something that can be easily forgotten or forgiven.
 
See I'm in college, I've always wondered if you liked a girl but seen her do crazy exotic things like get laid at a party or after-party and then dated her a couple months later with that thought in the back of your head.
 
Funny, this thread popped up again. My girlfriend I broke up three weeks. While there were many issues surrounding our 11 month relationship one of those issues was the fact she admitted to cheating on me while we were dating and while I forgave her for it she was annoyed that I seemed curious when she would hang out with guy friends during the week when I was away at work.

I am usually a very trusting guy, but she simply gave me a reason to be jealous because if she cheated once, what would stop her from cheating again. That and other issues we decided to call it quits. So while I thought I could forgive her, I really could not.
 
Once someone has cheated then jealousy is brought into the relationship and it can never be the same again. I personally take a zero tolerance policy and if i even suspect someone of cheating then thats it they're dumped unless they can prove they didn't, and i expect exactly the same treatment in return.

Personally i don't ever cheat because if i have reason to cheat such as being bored with someone etc then id rather leave them first so i have a clean conscience and i then don't have to be scared of the truth which i like :)

However i can sympathize with people who cheat, you don't buy a car until you've checked out all the ones in the garage, and the same goes for life....
 
You cheat on me, I'm hunting the guy that you had an affair with. This guy will wish he'd never seen my woman. GG
 
kastenbrust said:
However i can sympathize with people who cheat, you don't buy a car until you've checked out all the ones in the garage, and the same goes for life....
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I don't agree with this as a whole. We're a fairly smart animal and can judge/learn things without having to experience them. I don't like drugs, I don't need to take a hit of heroin to come to that conclusion and I don't need to date other girls to know how lucky I am.
 
skunk said:
She's not "your woman". If you want people to wish they'd never seen her, you'd better insist she stays in the cellar or only goes out in a burka.
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Wow, I agree with Skunk about something!

I wouldn't forgive someone for doing this as I know that I wouldn't do it myself. I have had the opportunity to do it and refused, I have had the opportunity to be the guy she cheated with and refused. And don't bring in that "if he/she is cheating it means there is something wrong with the relationship".

If there IS something wrong the two parties should sit down and talk about it like adults, not act like rutting animals and then try to justify what they did.
 
Mr. Giver '94 said:
Cheating isn't something that can be easily forgotten or forgiven.
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Exactly.

longball11 said:
See I'm in college, I've always wondered if you liked a girl but seen her do crazy exotic things like get laid at a party or after-party and then dated her a couple months later with that thought in the back of your head.
Click to expand...
I think that you've answered your own question.

marbles said:
Simple answer : No, because it hurts too much
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Yep. That deep down type of pain. The kind where you feel that your heart was ripped out of your rib cage right before your eyes and is pulsating in her hand while you stand there in aghast agony.

Then again, I wouldn't know... ;)
 
What a self-righteous lot most of you are — the indignation and condemnation is almost biblical in proportions…
:rolleyes:
I have to wonder how many of the ones loudest in their cries of "Now way! Never forgive or forget" have even been within sniffing distance of any lasting relationship — and no your hand doesn't count.

Yes, people "cheat".
Sh*t happens.

If it is a worthwhile relationship you resolve your issues and you may even be surprised to find your relationship has strengthened.
 
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