GayWay - the gay and lesbian discussion (aka. Any Gays here?)

[Grey Beard]

An unenviable conundrum

Bad news, I'm getting torn in half. Explanation:

My Mom called me just now and told me that she is against go-go dancing more than ever now. The extent to which she is against it was also revealed. She said that if I do it she will send me back home . I was awe-struck. It's not like her to be so closed minded.

She is going to send me an email with clearly defined points on why she doesn't want me to do it. I might post that and I'll rebut logically. I really don't like the current situation, though.



_Emerson

Emerson,
oh....er....uhm. Oh Their God, I really don't know what to suggest. Personally, I'd want to do it just to be bloody minded. But that's me,... I think that perhaps you'd better wait for the email to arrive. And I'll just sit on my razor blade fence. I'll know soon what it's like to be torn in two.
Kevin
aka Grey Beard

 

[scem0]

What is your situation regarding your college funding? If your parents are helping you out, I'm afraid you have no choice but to respect their wishes. If you're on full ride scholarship, you're 18. You can do what you want. Be careful with this scem0. It's not worth risking family. It may be wise to wait a few years. You'll still be cute as hell (I didn't do nudity til my 30's), and I'm sure the offer would still stand.

I got scholarships but they don't cover the full tuition (not to mention the housing). Without their funding I'm not in New York .

So, if I were to do it, I couldn't let them know about it. And I don't know how serious she was being about that threat. She might not have meant it.

But you're right, going against my parents is something I don't want to do, and I'm willing to wait. I'm not going to make any real decisions till I get her email and discuss this further with her though.

_Emerson

 

[leekohler]

I got scholarships but they don't cover the full tuition (not to mention the housing). Without their funding I'm not in New York .

So, if I were to do it, I couldn't let them know about it. And I don't know how serious she was being about that threat. She might not have meant it.

But you're right, going against my parents is something I don't want to do, and I'm willing to wait. I'm not going to make any real decisions till I get her email and discuss this further with her though.

_Emerson

Then wait. You have all the time in the world to take your clothes off.

 

[scem0]

I'm waiting for too much, I'm starting to get impatient.

Oh well, we'll see what happens after I get the email.

_Emerson

 

[leekohler]

I'm waiting for too much, I'm starting to get impatient.

Oh well, we'll see what happens after I get the email.

_Emerson

Well then, you'll just have to keep waiting a bit longer. I don't see a way for you to win this one.

 

[iGary]

Lee and I will watch you take your clothes off, if that helps your patience level.

 

[leekohler]

Lee and I will watch you take your clothes off, if that helps your patience level.

Watch? I'll do it myself.

 

[MontyZ]

Em, it's not the end of the world if you can't be a go-go boy. In fact, I think your mother is doing the right thing, and I totally understand where she is coming from. Lots of go-go boys become prostitutes or get involved in self-destructive behavior, and the people you'll have to deal with (nyc club owners and promoters) are one of the sleaziest lot you'll find. Even if you think you've got your head on straight, the temptations can be very compelling. You'd be like a lamb thrown into a pack of wolves. I've seen it happen to others, it's not pretty.

So, listen to your mother. Don't do it and just focus on your studies and have fun going to the clubs instead of working in them.

 

[leekohler]

Em, it's not the end of the world if you can't be a go-go boy. In fact, I think your mother is doing the right thing, and I totally understand where she is coming from. Lots of go-go boys become prostitutes or get involved in self-destructive behavior, and the people you'll have to deal with (nyc club owners and promoters) are one of the sleaziest lot you'll find. Even if you think you've got your head on straight, the temptations can be very compelling. You'd be like a lamb thrown into a pack of wolves. I've seen it happen to others, it's not pretty.

So, listen to your mother. Don't do it and just focus on your studies and have fun going to the clubs instead of working in them.

I agree with Monty on this one too. Wait until you're out of school for this. That way, if you still want to do it, there won't be a conflict.

 

[MontyZ]

I agree with Monty on this one too. Wait until you're out of school for this. That way, if you still want to do it, there won't be a conflict.

OMG! We actually agree on something for once!

 

[iGary]

I'm with Lee and Monty, for what it is worth.

Your Mom knows best.

 

[leekohler]

I'm with Lee and Monty, for what it is worth.

Your Mom knows best.

Doesn't it suck when Mom's right? God, I hate that.

 

[iGary]

Doesn't it suck when Mom's right? God, I hate that.

Me too.

Now I find myself lecturing my neices and nephews (telling them the same things my parents told me, but I totally ignored).

 

[leekohler]

Me too.

Now I find myself lecturing my neices and nephews (telling them the same things my parents told me, but I totally ignored).

Well- I was raised by pretty strict Christian family, so they were wrong most of the time. The one thing I remember being told not to do was live with someone without being married. Never have lived with any of my BFs and I'm damn glad. Why? They asked me, but wouldn't produce a ring or have a ceremony. They were like- we don't need all that. Well then- we also don't need to live together.

 

[MontyZ]

Well- I was raised by pretty strict Christian family, so they were wrong most of the time. The one thing I remember being told not to do was live with someone without being married. Never have lived with any of my BFs and I'm damn glad. Why? They asked me, but wouldn't produce a ring or have a ceremony. They were like- we don't need all that. Well then- we also don't need to live together.

My partner and I registered as "domestic partners" here in NYC years ago when it became available. We didn't do a ceremony, though. My partner is Canadian, so, we plan to go there next year and get legally married in Vancouver. I have NO idea what I'm going to wear!

 

[leekohler]

My partner and I registered as "domestic partners" here in NYC years ago when it became available. We didn't do a ceremony, though. My partner is Canadian, so, we plan to go there next year and get legally married in Vancouver. I have NO idea what I'm going to wear!

A piece of paper would have been good too! They wouldn't even go there. Funny enough, all my relationships started going down the toilet after that question was asked.

 

[CHAOS STEP]

My partner and I registered as "domestic partners" here in NYC years ago when it became available. We didn't do a ceremony, though. My partner is Canadian, so, we plan to go there next year and get legally married in Vancouver. I have NO idea what I'm going to wear!

Nice

erm, you should both wear like robot suits - made from large carboard boxes and covered in tin foil and stuff

Gay Robot Brides are awesome!

 

[MontyZ]

erm, you should both wear like robot suits - made from large carboard boxes and covered in tin foil and stuff

I think that would make us look more like refrigerators than a robot.

I want the marriage ceremony to last 10 minutes, and then immediately get to the partying and dancing!

 

[CHAOS STEP]

I think that would make us look more like refrigerators than a robot.

I want the marriage ceremony to last 10 minutes, and then immediately get to the partying and dancing!

*goes back to work adjusting home made robot suit*

I think your plans for the ceremony are spiffing, have it so that the minister gets hoisted away and then the room goes dark and *WHAM* disco ball hovers down to club tropicana.

 

[MontyZ]

I think your plans for the ceremony are spiffing, have it so that the minister gets hoisted away and then the room goes dark and *WHAM* disco ball hovers down to club tropicana.

Yes, that's more like it. And then the dancing boys and drag queens arrive.

 

[slooksterPSV]

Yes, that's more like it. And then the dancing boys and drag queens arrive.

Sounds like a great party.

 

[DakotaGuy]

Bad news, I'm getting torn in half. Explanation:

My Mom called me just now and told me that she is against go-go dancing more than ever now. The extent to which she is against it was also revealed. She said that if I do it she will send me back home . I was awe-struck. It's not like her to be so closed minded.

Her qualm with me go-go dancing is that she thinks it's dangerous. And it could be, but I don't think it'd be dangerous for me because I don't drink or do drugs and I have strong moral boundaries regarding sex. I'm not easily manipulated especially in regards to safety.

I am really frustrated by the whole situation. I care so much about my parent's opinion but I also feel strongly about not doing something just because someone tells you to. I still don't feel that she gave me a logical reason not to do it. I still feel that there is no logical reason not to. So I'll either have to do it without telling her, which would drive me nuts, or not do it at all which would also drive me nuts because it sounds like the perfect job for me.

She is going to send me an email with clearly defined points on why she doesn't want me to do it. I might post that and I'll rebut logically. I really don't like the current situation, though.



_Emerson

Ok, I've never posted in this forum and don't even know if I am welcome here, because I notice a lot of the same people discussing things that they seem to understand by your backgrounds or where you live. Kind of the old, "This is an A-B conversation so C your way out of it." But you guys don't seem like it. You all seem really cool.

Ok, my take on the go-go dancing will be different then some people's views just because of where I live and my background. There is nothing really wrong with this kind of activity, but I agree it can lead to activity that is wrong on different levels. I am not saying you are that type of person, but it seems like there is a lot of "recruitment" for other things that goes on when it comes to dancers. I have a friend that is a guy that was thinking about getting into the adult entertainment world and I worked my butt off to talk him out of it. In the end, he did not do it. I understand that making porn is a different thing then this, but you know what he did before they tried to recruit him for porn? A go-go dancer and they offered him a lot of money to do this extra stuff. Why he listened to me I am not sure, but I am glad he did.

I am not saying that I am anti-porn. I have viewed some in my life! lol However when it comes to people that I know and care about my thoughts are different. I just feel that it takes away the "person" in you and makes you into something different, " a piece of meat." Many times when a person starts to market their body it will actually cause them to loose self esteem. Why are drugs so bad when it comes to the porn industry? I think it has something to do with loosing that image of your inner beauty and you feel that people only like you for what your body looks like. I am not a looker, no one would ever pay to see me naked, that's for sure, so maybe some of it is a little jeolousy because I could never do such a thing, nor would I want to because it would be totally not compatible with my career. Something about a teacher going out and dancing almost nude would not go over well in my career field.

You also need to look at your future. There may be places that you want to go in life that would not be compatible with that type of behavior. I mean I would hate to see you do something like this and years down the road regret it when you are running for the local school board! Not saying you will ever do that, but people's goals and career choices change over the years and you don't want to do something that you will regret in the end.

I guess in the end however, the biggest problem I have with this activity is that it reduces a person. Makes people look at them in a different way. They no longer judge you for the beautiful person you are, but judge you for how hot you look on stage. You seem like a very level-headed 18 year old. I know a person in college can always use more money and I can imagine living in NYC would have to be very expensive compared to where I live. Again, the decision is yours, but I have to agree with your mother. She loves you and only wants the best for you.

 

[scem0]

Watch? I'll do it myself.

So when will you be in New York, babe? As I said, I'm getting impatient .

I think that would make us look more like refrigerators than a robot.

I want the marriage ceremony to last 10 minutes, and then immediately get to the partying and dancing!

That sounds fun, I'll go-go dance for free at your ceremony .

and while on the topic of go-go dancing, I'll definitely have your suggestions in mind when I make whatever decision I make. I won't be doing it anytime soon in any case, so I have plenty of time to organize my thoughts.

E

 

[scem0]

Ok, I've never posted in this forum and don't even know if I am welcome here, because I notice a lot of the same people discussing things that they seem to understand by your backgrounds or where you live. Kind of the old, "This is an A-B conversation so C your way out of it." But you guys don't seem like it. You all seem really cool.

Of course you are welcome here! Us gay guys are a strange bunch. Unfortunately we are on the outside in almost everything we do. Everyone is critical and judgmental about us. So, you think we'd be a non-judgemental group of blokes - wrong. However, here at MR, I think we are very open and non-judgemental. You are more than welcome to this thread.

You also need to look at your future. There may be places that you want to go in life that would not be compatible with that type of behavior. I mean I would hate to see you do something like this and years down the road regret it when you are running for the local school board! Not saying you will ever do that, but people's goals and career choices change over the years and you don't want to do something that you will regret in the end.

Very wise words. Definitely taken into account. But I don't know how someone would figure out that I did this, I certainly wouldn't put it on my resume for such jobs . But a good point well taken.

You seem like a very level-headed 18 year old. I know a person in college can always use more money and I can imagine living in NYC would have to be very expensive compared to where I live. Again, the decision is yours, but I have to agree with your mother. She loves you and only wants the best for you.

Yeah, it's pricey to live in NYC. Another reason I want a higher paying job is because I want to pay my parents back for sending me through college. Parsons is incredibly expensive. It's about $15,000 dollars per term. That is a hell of a lot of money. If I'm working for 8 bucks an hour somewhere I'll be working all 4 years of my uni years to pay for a single term .

One of the main reasons that I wanted the go-go boy job is that I would enjoy it so much. I absolutely love to dance.

My Mom recommended that I channel this love into a different, what she calls "safer" kind of dancing. Theatrical dancing. i'd be all up for this, but I don't think I have enough time to handle my Parsons classes on top of dancing classes on top of a low paying job in an expensive city . I think I'd go crazy.

But, I have weeks and weeks to make any decisions.

For now I'm going to make some rice, heat up some beans, saute some mushrooms and unions and make myself some good ol' vegetarian tacos.

And thanks for the concern everyone. I appreciate it a lot. I am definitely going to make my decisions on this with what you all are saying in mind, and I will keep you up to date. If I end up doing it and I feel that I am getting tainted by the bad environment then I'll quit in a jiffy. If I am getting tainted and I don't realize it, I'll need one of you to come and save me .

_Emerson

 

[DakotaGuy]

Very wise words. Definitely taken into account. But I don't know how someone would figure out that I did this, I certainly wouldn't put it on my resume for such jobs . But a good point well taken.
_Emerson

I would agree, in most places people would never figure this out. I guess this is more because of my background living in South Dakota. If you did it here, they WOULD find out sooner or later. lol One of my good friends lives across the state and he was chatting with someone in the middle of the state that I talked to one time 4 years ago and this person remembered my name and where I lived. How's that for a small world?

About you guys being a strange breed...it is ok because I am a strange breed myself. I mean I am a person that teaches in an elementary school that just last year was in Iraq getting blown up, nothing in my life really adds up... I grew up on a farm in SD and never made it too far out of this place. I guess my heart will always be in the wide open spaces. It is fun to hear about your experiences in NY however. Some say that I was brave to go to Iraq and serve in a "Front-line" role for 6 months of my year over there, but I think you are brave to live in NY. I'd be too scared to leave the rural areas. Funny isn't it, I fear NY, but managed to go to Iraq. haha... See I told you I am a strange breed.