GayWay - the gay and lesbian discussion (aka. Any Gays here?)

[Chip NoVaMac]

I need to get out more so I can have stories to share...

I also need to stop lurking and post self-reflective one sentance posts.

Well it looks like I achieved that last one. This post is 4 sentances.

This comes with life and age.

You will be surprised at the stories that you will be able to tell us in 10 years time.

At 47 yo, I have led a good life IMO. In some ways a Forest Gump sort of life. But that comes from living in the DC area I guess. I attended Nixon's 2nd inauguration in the VIP stands across from the Presidential booth - a reward for being a a youthful campaigner for his election. Attended a State dinner in the Carter White House. Was "nominated" by my Democratic representative to be part of GWB's "thousand points of light" example for his State of the Union address (being Gay,and working to address the AIDS issue with my BSS did not sit well some I guess).

Or the fun side of life. Doing a bar crawl in NO's, and seeing Aaron Neval "ask" if he could do a set with a band at a local bar. Or nearly decking Sarah Jessica Parker at Vincent's for trying to push her way through. Or maybe having a "fun" time with one of the Kennedy clan on a trip to P-Town.

One of the best shows IMO is Mame. The classic line from the show is, "life is a banquet, and some poor fools are starving". From those that have followed my posts in the last year or so, I am now just beginning to understand that meaning.

If I can say anything to readers here, live each day as it is your last. Life can be filled with "shoulda, coulda, woulda's". If you can strike it out out on your own, do it Otherwise wait till you can. Never give up on who or what you want to be. I spent the past 10+ years trying to meet the expectations of someone else. It has only been since June/July that I have begun my rebirth.

Be true to yourself. Recognize that your actions may have impact far in to the future. But if you are comfortable with that, so be it. For as witnessed here in the GayWay thread, each one of us has contributed in some way in the fabric of life in a positive way.

Even in your short life, you have given hope for a better future.

 

[scem0]

I missed a lot.

On the porn industry. I would never consider a porn start to be 'bad' just because of his profession. There are lots of similar stereotypes between the porn industry and go-go dancing - objectification of the body, irresponsible use of drugs and alcohol, etc. Although porn stars are definitely objectified by others, I think as long as they don't objectify themselves they should be okay.

I've never considered my own worth based on my physical appearance. I want to look good to please myself and those who I care about. I want to be healthy to be healthy. I am in the shape I'm in mostly because I'd rather be in the shape I'm in than out of shape. It's quite simple for me .

So, that is to say that I don't think that everyone in porn supports objectification or that they abuse drugs, etc. I know y'all don't think that either. But I definitely think that those stereotypes shouldn't hold us back. If I enjoy dancing, if I'm good at it, and if others want to pay me to do it, I'm not going to let stereotypes stop me. I might let my parents stop me, but that's another matter .

All of us gay guys deal with stereotypes all the time. It annoys the hell out of me. But I think it says more to rise above the stereotypes than to avoid dealing with them.

And Lee, sorry 'bout the parking ticket . That's a bummer. I've only gotten one ticket my whole life (for speeding - 37 in a 30 ) and it was a pain in the ass and the wallet to deal with.

And if you need a place to stay, you are welcome to stay at my dorm. I might even cook you some fajitas. I know we flirt a lot, but I really mean that .

Good to see you back Chip and Guitarius.

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

If I can say anything to readers here, live each day as it is your last. Life can be filled with "shoulda, coulda, woulda's". If you can strike it out out on your own, do it Otherwise wait till you can. Never give up on who or what you want to be. I spent the past 10+ years trying to meet the expectations of someone else. It has only been since June/July that I have begun my rebirth.

Be true to yourself. Recognize that your actions may have impact far in to the future. But if you are comfortable with that, so be it. For as witnessed here in the GayWay thread, each one of us has contributed in some way in the fabric of life in a positive way.

Even in your short life, you have given hope for a better future.

This strikes me as being very relatable to go-go dancing. If I wait till college is over to do it, every-time I go into a club I'd say "I could have been doing that" as I watch someone dance for tips.

You said you spent the past 10 years trying to meet the expectations of someone else. This is also relevant. I am trying to meet the expectations of my parents. Some people wouldn't do it because they are trying to meet the expectations of society or their peers; I'm not really dealing with that, I really could care less about what society thinks of me.

To be honest, even though you agree with my parents, your post has influenced me in the other direction . I know my parents love me and they want what's best for me, but I think that their idea of what is best for me is skewed by their love for me. Another issue is that I've changed immensely since coming to New York, what was best for me 6th months ago is not what's best for me now. They haven't gotten a chance to learn everything about the new Emerson.

_Emerson

 

[MontyZ]

To be honest, even though you agree with my parents, your post has influenced me in the other direction . I know my parents love me and they want what's best for me, but I think that their idea of what is best for me is skewed by their love for me. Another issue is that I've changed immensely since coming to New York, what was best for me 6th months ago is not what's best for me now. They haven't gotten a chance to learn everything about the new Emerson.

Okay my little honeypie, do you really think it'll be fun to have drunk, aging old queens pawing at you, stuffing dollar bills down your undies while grabbing at you all night long? You said that you didn't like it when someone on the dancefloor tries to shove their hands down your pants, yet, that's exactly the kind of stuff you'll have to deal constantly as a "pro." It won't be the same as jumping up on a platform at a club to dance fully clothed as a customer.

Okay, I won't pester you anymore. Do your homework!

 

[scem0]

Nah, I suppose I don't like it when they shove their hands in my pants.

I don't mind touching through the pants so much, which is mostly what happens in clubs.

But you are correct, men would do things to me that I wouldn't necessarily like so much, but is there such thing as a perfect job? I wouldn't have to let anyone do anything to me. I've taken men's hands out of my pants before, I'll do it again if I have to.

I got 'the' email from my mom. I have responded. I'll attach a PDF of the emails for anyone interested. I was a little harsh, but her email made me a little bit angry. I'm mostly angry that she won't honor the responsibility I've shown in the past by letting me make my own decision. She has resorted to threats (sending me home) to get me from being a go-go dancer. Obviously, logic isn't enough to do that.

_Emerson

 

[MontyZ]

Nah, I suppose I don't like it when they shove their hands in my pants.

I don't mind touching through the pants so much, which is mostly what happens in clubs.

But you are correct, men would do things to me that I wouldn't necessarily like so much, but is there such thing as a perfect job? I wouldn't have to let anyone do anything to me. I've taken men's hands out of my pants before, I'll do it again if I have to.

I got 'the' email from my mom. I have responded. I'll attach a PDF of the emails for anyone interested. I was a little harsh, but her email made me a little bit angry. I'm mostly angry that she won't honor the responsibility I've shown in the past by letting me make my own decision. She has resorted to threats (sending me home) to get me from being a go-go dancer. Obviously, logic isn't enough to do that.

_Emerson

Well, I read your mom's email and most of your response. I have to say, your mom seems like a great person, especially considering she is still dealing with recently learning that you are gay as you zip off to the big city. The only place I think she is over-concerned is the sexual-addiction stuff. But, everything else she said is not so off the mark as you might think.

BTW, men won't simply tuck a dollar bill down your pants, they'll shove their entire hand down there with it, and linger for while. And dancers/strippers do get raped, drugged or stalked, because there are a LOT of loonies in the world, and NYC has it's share. Add drugs and alcohol to the mix, and it can be a dangerous cocktail. So, I wouldn't be as cavalier about that aspect of things, because the threats are very real, Emerson. While the gay club scene in NYC can be a lot of fun, there's also a very seedy side to it that you obviously have not seen or truly experienced yet. Trust me, it's not pretty, and your mom has every right to be worried about your desire to venture into that world.

Let me give you some advice: You have a 0.1% chance of finding your life partner in a gay dance club. Being a dancer/stripper in a club does not open up doors to other good opportunities, it usually closes them. The "magic" of a gay disco is only a show, it's all a facade, it's not real.

I don't mean to be cynical. I moved to NYC when I was 19 and was mesmerized by the gay club scene just like you. But, really, you ought to simply enjoy it as a customer with your friends as you are doing now, because that's truly the best way to enjoy the gay club scene, not by dancing in your underwear for dollar bills. Right now, you can leave the club when you want and you don't have to take your clothes off if you don't want to. You won't have that choice if you decided to do the go-go dancing.

Also, we both live in one of the gayest cities in the world. There's SO much more than just dance clubs, although I totally understand why you like them so much, I love them, too. But, there's so much more to explore and experience. Do you go to art shows, theater, concerts and things like that? I know as a student you are dirt poor, but, what's great about NYC is there's lots to do that doesn't cost much or is free (and students often get discounts on just about everything). The cultural bounty of New York extends far beyond the dance clubs. Drink it ALL in.

Okay, that's my 14-cents.

 

[njmac]

< snip >

Okay, that's my 14-cents.

That is fantastic advice MontyZ. Every word of it.

Emerson, I would rather have you regret being a go-go-boy and *know* everyone else is wrong than to be a go-go-boy and have a very, very different, perhaps life altering regret.

 

[Zaid]

I got 'the' email from my mom. I have responded. I'll attach a PDF of the emails for anyone interested. I was a little harsh, but her email made me a little bit angry. I'm mostly angry that she won't honor the responsibility I've shown in the past by letting me make my own decision. She has resorted to threats (sending me home) to get me from being a go-go dancer. Obviously, logic isn't enough to do that.

_Emerson

Em mate, I've read the email you posted (just a tip, black out the email addys before posting it. Even in a little private-esque thread like ours, it's not a good idea. Lots of people read this thread without posting, just look at the number of views!)

Mate, I think you need to cut your mom a bit of slack. I know you feel that she is not trusting you despite you having earned that trust, but having read her email, it's at least clear that her actions are motivated by concern for you. Yes i can understand that you're pissed off with her. That much is clear form your response.

I know what it feels like to not get the trust from your parents that you deserve. I went through it too after I moved out of home. I was 18 at the time and had just come out to my mom as well. With hindsight i can now see that those actions of my mom that so infuriated me were simply motivated by love and concern for my well being. Not saying it's not a pain in the arse (in a bad way ) but it's motivated by love.

Yes you're an adult and you get to make your own descisions. And you have to live with the consequences of those descisions, and you know that. You are certainly adult and mature enough to know what you are doing and so everyone else should respect your descision when arguments to convince you otherwise have failed. But mate, this is your mom. Mom's play by different rules.

You seem to always have had a relationship with your parents where you were treated as an adult. Where they explained to you why they thought something was or was not a good idea, rather than just telling you what to do.

Problem is I think your mom is worried that the temptations of the life of a go-go dancer may overwhelm you, but can't just say that because you would take that as a betrayl of the trust you have built up over the years. So instead made up a number of pseudo-reasons why you should not do it.

Thing is i don't think you should see it as a lack of trust. The go-go dancing thing is a very slippery slope no matter how well you have you head screwed on. (and you know this) Hell I'd be worried for you! (as I'm sure would lee, chip, Kevin and everyone else here). Obviously going into it knowing what you're doing and having your head in the right place vastly improves your chances of coming out of it with nothing but a bit of extra cash, but even then mate, it's not a certainty. So don't see it as your mom not trusting you despite your track record, see it as your mom being worried about you entering a world where a saint could be lead astray.

At the end of the day mate, your mom thinks this is a really really bad idea. Is being a go-go dancer that important to you that you're going to have a blow up with your mom about it? That's what you need to ask yourself. If you feel there are deeper trust issues, then sure address those, but address them first and address them for what they are without the cover of some other issue.

I'm not saying we always have to bow to the demands of our parents, not a ****. A lot of the time parents need to hear that they should stick it, and should accept that you're an adult and know what you're doing. (even if you don't). But sometimes, just sometimes. it's worth listening to what they have to say.

Big hug goes out to you mate.

 

[Blue Velvet]

I've taken men's hands out of my pants before, I'll do it again if I have to.

That would make a great Tshirt.


scem0: Do what you have to do. Look after yourself but don't make a career of it. Keep yourself clean...

BV
x

 

[scem0]

Well, I read your mom's email and most of your response. I have to say, your mom seems like a great person, especially considering she is still dealing with recently learning that you are gay as you zip off to the big city. The only place I think she is over-concerned is the sexual-addiction stuff. But, everything else she said is not so off the mark as you might think.

She definitely is a great person. But she isn't really dealing with me being gay, that was accepted and dealt with almost instantaneously. I never brought her anxiety.

BTW, men won't simply tuck a dollar bill down your pants, they'll shove their entire hand down there with it, and linger for while. And dancers/strippers do get raped, drugged or stalked, because there are a LOT of loonies in the world, and NYC has it's share. Add drugs and alcohol to the mix, and it can be a dangerous cocktail. So, I wouldn't be as cavalier about that aspect of things, because the threats are very real, Emerson. While the gay club scene in NYC can be a lot of fun, there's also a very seedy side to it that you obviously have not seen or truly experienced yet. Trust me, it's not pretty, and your mom has every right to be worried about your desire to venture into that world.

I was going to wear a g-string underneath my boxer briefs which would stop any direct contact between hand and penis, but let's not get into the technical aspects of such things .

As for the safety aspect - I think that if I'm careful that there will be nothing to worry about. I have been to plenty of clubs plenty of times and have never once been been given reason to worry about my safety.

Let me give you some advice: You have a 0.1% chance of finding your life partner in a gay dance club. Being a dancer/stripper in a club does not open up doors to other good opportunities, it usually closes them. The "magic" of a gay disco is only a show, it's all a facade, it's not real.

Agreed. I don't go to the clubs to hook up, I go there to dance, and in the case of go-go-ing, to earn money. I don't actively search for a life partner, I think that'll happen on its own eventually.

Also, we both live in one of the gayest cities in the world. There's SO much more than just dance clubs, although I totally understand why you like them so much, I love them, too. But, there's so much more to explore and experience. Do you go to art shows, theater, concerts and things like that? I know as a student you are dirt poor, but, what's great about NYC is there's lots to do that doesn't cost much or is free (and students often get discounts on just about everything). The cultural bounty of New York extends far beyond the dance clubs. Drink it ALL in.

Okay, that's my 14-cents.

Yeah, I try to experience the city. I see lots of art exhibits and the like for school assignments. I saw a concert a couple weeks ago. I saw some performances at Lincoln Plaza. I try to diversify .

Thanks for the suggestions .

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

That is fantastic advice MontyZ. Every word of it.

Emerson, I would rather have you regret being a go-go-boy and *know* everyone else is wrong than to be a go-go-boy and have a very, very different, perhaps life altering regret.

I can't imagine having a life altering regret from trying it.

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

Mate, I think you need to cut your mom a bit of slack. I know you feel that she is not trusting you despite you having earned that trust, but having read her email, it's at least clear that her actions are motivated by concern for you. Yes i can understand that you're pissed off with her. That much is clear form your response.

Her actions are motivated by concern, but they're also biased by it. That's the source of the problem, I think.

You seem to always have had a relationship with your parents where you were treated as an adult. Where they explained to you why they thought something was or was not a good idea, rather than just telling you what to do.

Quite the contrary. My parents have always stuck to "my way or the highway". I had a 'go to bed' curfew up till I was 18. I had to be in bed by a certain time when I was 18 years old, how lame is that? At 18, they couldn't even trust me enough to manage my sleeping schedule. They have never trusted me much, and I've never been sure why not.

Problem is I think your mom is worried that the temptations of the life of a go-go dancer may overwhelm you, but can't just say that because you would take that as a betrayl of the trust you have built up over the years. So instead made up a number of pseudo-reasons why you should not do it.

No, she has outrightly said that. Not in this letter, but on the phone. I know that is one of the primary reasons. I'm really not that easily manipulated though. She should be the first to know. She did everything she could to convert me to Christianity while under her roof but I remained complacently agnostic. I'm a stubborn one, for sure. I just can't imagine why I'd be corrupted by the industry when nothing else has corrupted me so far in life.

see it as your mom being worried about you entering a world where a saint could be lead astray.

This seems like overkill to me. It's not that bad of a world to work in. The kid I met at Avalon who was a go-go boy was quite nice. I see the same go-go dancers at Splash every week. They manage to survive from week to week. I think it's all about how you perceive yourself. I don't give a **** what other go-go boys do, I'm my own person and I do things for my own reasons.

If you feel there are deeper trust issues, then sure address those, but address them first and address them for what they are without the cover of some other issue.

I definitely think there are trust issues. I have had multiple talks with my parents regarding this, but it never goes anywhere. I've never given them a reason to not trust me, yet they don't. I was never awarded privileges for good behavior.

I'm not saying we always have to bow to the demands of our parents, not a ****. A lot of the time parents need to hear that they should stick it, and should accept that you're an adult and know what you're doing. (even if you don't). But sometimes, just sometimes. it's worth listening to what they have to say.

Big hug goes out to you mate.

Of course, I'll always listen to what my Mom and Dad have to say, I love 'em to pieces, but I think that they are wrong in this case.

I've experienced a life where I didn't take risks and I ended up with neutral emotions. I was hardly ever happy, hardly ever sad. When my dog of 14 years died, I couldn't cry. I had been neutral for so long that I just couldn't force the tears out. They were foreign to my body. I don't want to go back to a neutral, risk free life. When you live that kind of life you begin to understand that feeling anything is better than feeling nothing at all.

Thanks for the advice, Zaid

 

[Lau]

The kid I met at Avalon who was a go-go boy was quite nice. I see the same go-go dancers at Splash every week. They manage to survive from week to week. I think it's all about how you perceive yourself. I don't give a **** what other go-go boys do, I'm my own person and I do things for my own reasons.

Just a thought, why not try and speak to a few go-go boys and see what they say it's like? See if they've had hassle from sleazy men, or been followed home, or if the management seems bad or corrupt, or if they say it's all good fun. It would be a good way to get more information about it, although their views are obviously one person's opinion, same as here.

 

[iGary]

I think there is s difference between "meeting" your parents expectations and respecting them, Emerson.

You've told them what you want to do, they disagree.

Let me play devil's advocate.

Let's think abot how your parents are perceiving this. "I want to be a go-go dancer."

To them, this is the same thing as you telling them you are going to be a stripper. Imagine the thoughts that go through their mind, the visions of men stuffing bills in their sons underwear, gawking at you. Hands touching your body...Just imagine what they are thinking. Christ, they are probably petrified.

This is the main issue, I think. The second issue is, they are paying a lot of money for you to go to school, and I think that gives them some say in how you conduct yourself while there.

I've been through a lot of stuff with my parents, and I think you need to respect their wishes, for the sake of your relationship, which will, in turn benefit you.

I can tell you your relationship will never be the same if you go against them, and it seems you have a really wonderful one as it stands. Don't ruin that.

Take it from someone who was stubborn and arroogant and nasty (not drawing lines here) and only left with two years of good relations (from high school till age 35) with his dad only to wake up to a phone call that he died in his sleep, suddenly and without warning, one night. Take it from someone who lost their mom when he was 16.

Do everything you can to give and take, Emerson. They are your family, you don't get a second chance. I'd let this one go, for what it is worth.

All the best,

Gary

 

[Zaid]

Her actions are motivated by concern, but they're also biased by it. That's the source of the problem, I think.

Agreed. But then as your mother that is her job. Occupational hazzard of being a son.

Quite the contrary. My parents have always stuck to "my way or the highway". I had a 'go to bed' curfew up till I was 18. I had to be in bed by a certain time when I was 18 years old, how lame is that? At 18, they couldn't even trust me enough to manage my sleeping schedule. They have never trusted me much, and I've never been sure why not.

No, she has outrightly said that. Not in this letter, but on the phone. I know that is one of the primary reasons. I'm really not that easily manipulated though. She should be the first to know. She did everything she could to convert me to Christianity while under her roof but I remained complacently agnostic. I'm a stubborn one, for sure. I just can't imagine why I'd be corrupted by the industry when nothing else has corrupted me so far in life.

Well that kind of changes things i think. This has nothing with you being a go-go boy, though i can't imagine any mother being ok with that idea. This is all about trust issues mate. Them not trusting you, and you (i think at least partly) using the go-go dancing to bring it to a head.

Our situations are/were more similar that i thought. I had the whole 'my way or no way' thing growing up as well, and the perceived lack of trust. And the trying to bring me to religion from my mom, which i still get btw

I would say deal with the trust issues before doing the go-going. In the long run it will be better for your relationship with your parents. Really.

This seems like overkill to me. It's not that bad of a world to work in. The kid I met at Avalon who was a go-go boy was quite nice. I see the same go-go dancers at Splash every week. They manage to survive from week to week. I think it's all about how you perceive yourself. I don't give a **** what other go-go boys do, I'm my own person and I do things for my own reasons.

I don't think it's overkill. I've seen it go horribly wrong before. I'm not saying it will just that it could, no matter how strong you are. If it is what you really want to do, then go for it, it certainly is an experience. You are a great lad Em, really. And you have your priorities in order. I have every confidence that you'll come out of this with nothing but some extra cash. But don't paint a rosy picture for yourself of what can and can't happen. Anything that you have to describe as being 'not that bad', can't be all that good either.

I definitely think there are trust issues. I have had multiple talks with my parents regarding this, but it never goes anywhere. I've never given them a reason to not trust me, yet they don't. I was never awarded privileges for good behavior.

Well then i certainly understand your wanting to bring this to a head. Is your wanting to be a go-go boy at least partly motivated by wanting to rebel against this situation?

The only problem is that you are dependent on your parent's funding. So uness it's so important that you'd be willing to give up uni, and your future, i'd shelve the idea for a few years. As the other guys have said, I'd gladly let you dance for me if it helped [checks BA flights to NY ]
In a few years time, you'll be more independent, and will still look as adorable as you are now. The offer will still stand i'm sure.

Of course, I'll always listen to what my Mom and Dad have to say, I love 'em to pieces, but I think that they are wrong in this case.

I've experienced a life where I didn't take risks and I ended up with neutral emotions. I was hardly ever happy, hardly ever sad. When my dog of 14 years died, I couldn't cry. I had been neutral for so long that I just couldn't force the tears out. They were foreign to my body. I don't want to go back to a neutral, risk free life. When you live that kind of life you begin to understand that feeling anything is better than feeling nothing at all.

I know where you're coming from mate. When i hit uni and came out, i went wild, (Still am to an extent ) Largly because i'd never really done anything at high school (for a myriad of reasons of which being in the closet was quite a big one, and having uber-controlling parents was another)

For the longest time i was dead inside. When i moved out of home and started coming out, my life changed. I changed. And it felt great. I did a lot of crazy things, some of which, were frankly not such a good idea. Thankfully i had good mates to pull me back when i went too far.

So all i can say is grab life by the crotch and take every experience that you can. But surround yourself with people that can (metephorically) slap some sense into you from time to time and can pull you back if you start to go astray.

I think your parents are absolutely wrong not to trust you. Whether they're wrong about the dancing i'm not sure. But they should trust you in general.

As their financial dependent though, you may need to give in on this, for a few years any way.

Keep raising the trust issue. Become a stuck record on the issue. It will eventually filter through. Be logical about it though and calm. Rememeber calm, cool and logical can be a lot scarier than hot passionate and emotional.

Don't destroy your relationship with them though. As you get older, start working and have more and more of your own life, it will matter less and less whether they trust you. They will realise this.

Its partly how i solved my problems with my parents. That and moving to london. It's amazing what 10,000kms can do to a relationship.

Thanks for the advice, Zaid

Any time mate. Any time.

 

[DakotaGuy]

You said you spent the past 10 years trying to meet the expectations of someone else. This is also relevant. I am trying to meet the expectations of my parents. Some people wouldn't do it because they are trying to meet the expectations of society or their peers; I'm not really dealing with that, I really could care less about what society thinks of me.
_Emerson

One way or another, whether you realize it or not, you will spend most of your life doing just this. It only starts with your parents and then will move into different areas of your life. If you work in a career, more then likely you will be working to meet the expectations of someone else. I get evaluated at both of my jobs. They actually have a check-list and then write many comments about the job I am doing and improvements I need to make. You may not have a job like this, but many people do.

I agree that you should not care what society thinks of you, but somewhere you will always be meeting expectations placed by someone. I don't mind that in my life. Helping people be the best they can is motivation to me. Scem0, you seem like a good person, and you are trying to break out into your own life. That is a great thing and that is something that all successful people need to do. I have to try and put myself in your place because I am 11 years older then you. When you are 29, you will look at things differently, everyone does. I did a few wild things in my days and had a blast at the time, but now all of those are just memories. I look back and there are things I wish I had not done and things I wish I had done differently. I am sure in another 10 years, if I am given that time, I will look back at things that happened today and wished I had done things differently. That is just life.

 

[DakotaGuy]

That was my point. I don't always express myself so well. And just so you know, I've appeared nude in films myself, though not porn. There was a reason for it.

Well you did not scare me off just yet. No one would want to see me nude so I don't have to worry about that myself. I mean, I take care of myself and am not really fat or anything like that, I am just a slightly dorky, white as hell boy from the midwest that grew up driving a tractor and riding a horse. Guys like me are just not considered, hot. I have been told that I clean-up pretty nice however so I don't know, but I know I will leave the nudity up you you. (hint: there is a picture of me somewhere on Macrumors, but you would have to find it and I submitted the dorkiest one I could find so you would not be that impressed compared to what you see daily in the cities...haha.)

I know Hollywood always tries and make us military types all these perfect people with 6 paks, totally toned and tanned, but that is not true. We are just like everyone else. We might be in a little better shape because we have to meet weight standards and physical fitness standards, but it is nothing like the movies show!

 

[DodgyThong]

wow.. i go to work for two days and poor em has a mega crisis. ok... time to add my two cents;

1c - My name is dodgy... and I'm a sexaholic.. :/

2c - Em babe - while i think i agree with your mum to some extent, it's clear that your mind/heart is set on being a go-go boy. And honestly, if it were me, i'd go for it. Personally, I'd love to get paid to dance in a club i was going to dance in anyway, plus it's gotta be some good cash rite? While your mum is right to be concerned, i honestly dont think that a paid dancer is any more at danger from the worlds weirdos than an unpaid one. someone who wants to stalk beautiful blonde boys is going to find them no matter what part of the dance floor they are on. Just be careful. I'm not as... well worn as some of the other guys here, but in my time on this crazy-messed-up world, i've learnt that when you decide to do, or not do something there can be no regrets, because the choice was yours to make, so regrets are not allowed. the question is, would you rather have no regrets having done something, or not having done it? As i said, if it were me, i'd give it a go. If you don't like it, you can always quit. But you may not be able to come back in 6 years and say, hey.. i'd like to try that now... no matter how cute you are.. there's always going to be a fresh 18yo who is cuter. I say strike while the iron is hot and your flesh is still young and supple. Your mum will deal with it. Eventually.

xx Dodge

 

[scem0]

wow.. i go to work for two days and poor em has a mega crisis. ok... time to add my two cents;

1c - My name is dodgy... and I'm a sexaholic.. :/

2c - Em babe - while i think i agree with your mum to some extent, it's clear that your mind/heart is set on being a go-go boy. And honestly, if it were me, i'd go for it. Personally, I'd love to get paid to dance in a club i was going to dance in anyway, plus it's gotta be some good cash rite? While your mum is right to be concerned, i honestly dont think that a paid dancer is any more at danger from the worlds weirdos than an unpaid one. someone who wants to stalk beautiful blonde boys is going to find them no matter what part of the dance floor they are on. Just be careful. I'm not as... well worn as some of the other guys here, but in my time on this crazy-messed-up world, i've learnt that when you decide to do, or not do something there can be no regrets, because the choice was yours to make, so regrets are not allowed. the question is, would you rather have no regrets having done something, or not having done it? As i said, if it were me, i'd give it a go. If you don't like it, you can always quit. But you may not be able to come back in 6 years and say, hey.. i'd like to try that now... no matter how cute you are.. there's always going to be a fresh 18yo who is cuter. I say strike while the iron is hot and your flesh is still young and supple. Your mum will deal with it. Eventually.

xx Dodge

Your post fits my logic pretty well.

One major factor is being able to quit. If I don't like it I can quit in a second. If I feel the least bit uncomfortable, I probably will.

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

Well then i certainly understand your wanting to bring this to a head. Is your wanting to be a go-go boy at least partly motivated by wanting to rebel against this situation?

No, not consciously at least.

I've dealt with it for so long it barely even phases me anymore.

_Emerson

 

[scem0]

Well you did not scare me off just yet. No one would want to see me nude so I don't have to worry about that myself. I mean, I take care of myself and am not really fat or anything like that, I am just a slightly dorky, white as hell boy from the midwest that grew up driving a tractor and riding a horse. Guys like me are just not considered, hot. I have been told that I clean-up pretty nice however so I don't know, but I know I will leave the nudity up you you. (hint: there is a picture of me somewhere on Macrumors, but you would have to find it and I submitted the dorkiest one I could find so you would not be that impressed compared to what you see daily in the cities...haha.)

I know Hollywood always tries and make us military types all these perfect people with 6 paks, totally toned and tanned, but that is not true. We are just like everyone else. We might be in a little better shape because we have to meet weight standards and physical fitness standards, but it is nothing like the movies show!

I think you're cute .

I think if you came to the big city and went on the Emerson clubbing exercise program I could get you in real good shape and we'd have fun in the process . I really should market my dancing as an exercise program. I've seen amazing physical changes to my body since moving to NYC and I've barely done any exercising past my dancing.

Oh, and I meant to say this earlier but I just remembered. I also encourage everyone to go read Abercrombieboy's thread in the political discussions. A first hand account of things is invaluable sometimes.

_Emerson

edit:

My mom responded to my response:

I was hoping to share some of our views regarding dancing for money but it
is time to stop the discussion. Having people stick dollar bills in your
underwear while dancing is immoral for Dad and I. Dancing as a patron in
moderation for fun is ok. Dad and I will NOT pay for you to live in NY and
attend a very expensive school if you go-go dance for money.

Go Go Dancing is immoral to Dad and I and does not follow our standards of
what is right. We will not be a part to that.

We do realize you are growing up and that also means we have a very serious,
financial agreement on the table. We expect honesty on your decision and
realize you are making the decisions in your life.

Mom and Dad

I responded with:

Okay, go-go dancing is a non-issue now. I'm not going to do it. I might when I've graduated, but that's 4 long years from now.

But something I'm still concerned about is your apparent lack of trust. I'm just curious, but what have I done to warrant this distrust? I was the only senior at Anderson with a 'go to bed' curfew. You and Dad have always had trouble trusting me, and that distrust is showing up once again in this go-go dancing situation.

I can't think of one serious mistake I've made. I've never gotten drunk and crashed a car, or woken up in some random person's lawn after a night of debauchery, touched drugs or alcohol, or intentionally hurt someone, that's more than the vast majority of my peers can say. So why don't you trust me? It's always been a source of anxiety for me.

So, it's over. I won't be doing it for at least another 3 and a half years. I'm not going to do it in secret. I'm done with secrets.

I'm also not going to argue with my parents anymore. It drives me nuts and you'd think they're Bush supporters after seeing how stubborn they can be .

Time to find a boring 8 dollar an hour job .

_Emerson

 

[Zaid]

I think you're cute .

edit:

My mom responded to my response:

I was hoping to share some of our views regarding dancing for money but it
is time to stop the discussion. Having people stick dollar bills in your
underwear while dancing is immoral for Dad and I. Dancing as a patron in
moderation for fun is ok. Dad and I will NOT pay for you to live in NY and
attend a very expensive school if you go-go dance for money.

Go Go Dancing is immoral to Dad and I and does not follow our standards of
what is right. We will not be a part to that.

We do realize you are growing up and that also means we have a very serious,
financial agreement on the table. We expect honesty on your decision and
realize you are making the decisions in your life.

Mom and Dad

I responded with:

Okay, go-go dancing is a non-issue now. I'm not going to do it. I might when I've graduated, but that's 4 long years from now.

But something I'm still concerned about is your apparent lack of trust. I'm just curious, but what have I done to warrant this distrust? I was the only senior at Anderson with a 'go to bed' curfew. You and Dad have always had trouble trusting me, and that distrust is showing up once again in this go-go dancing situation.

I can't think of one serious mistake I've made. I've never gotten drunk and crashed a car, or woken up in some random person's lawn after a night of debauchery, touched drugs or alcohol, or intentionally hurt someone, that's more than the vast majority of my peers can say. So why don't you trust me? It's always been a source of anxiety for me.

So, it's over. I won't be doing it for at least another 3 and a half years. I'm not going to do it in secret. I'm done with secrets.

I'm also not going to argue with my parents anymore. It drives me nuts and you'd think they're Bush supporters after seeing how stubborn they can be .

Time to find a boring 8 dollar an hour job .

_Emerson

Big hug mate

Your handled your response well i think.

As for a job, maybe you should release a dance exercise program, adequately clothed of course

Anyway your four years will fly by. Trust me.

 

[scem0]

Thanks .

I'm not sure a dance exercise program would fly, there are a million of those .

I don't know where I should work. My only real interest right now is dancing .

_Emerson

 

[leekohler]

I think you're cute .

I think if you came to the big city and went on the Emerson clubbing exercise program I could get you in real good shape and we'd have fun in the process . I really should market my dancing as an exercise program. I've seen amazing physical changes to my body since moving to NYC and I've barely done any exercising past my dancing.

Oh, and I meant to say this earlier but I just remembered. I also encourage everyone to go read Abercrombieboy's thread in the political discussions. A first hand account of things is invaluable sometimes.

_Emerson

edit:

My mom responded to my response:

I was hoping to share some of our views regarding dancing for money but it
is time to stop the discussion. Having people stick dollar bills in your
underwear while dancing is immoral for Dad and I. Dancing as a patron in
moderation for fun is ok. Dad and I will NOT pay for you to live in NY and
attend a very expensive school if you go-go dance for money.

Go Go Dancing is immoral to Dad and I and does not follow our standards of
what is right. We will not be a part to that.

We do realize you are growing up and that also means we have a very serious,
financial agreement on the table. We expect honesty on your decision and
realize you are making the decisions in your life.

Mom and Dad

I responded with:

Okay, go-go dancing is a non-issue now. I'm not going to do it. I might when I've graduated, but that's 4 long years from now.

But something I'm still concerned about is your apparent lack of trust. I'm just curious, but what have I done to warrant this distrust? I was the only senior at Anderson with a 'go to bed' curfew. You and Dad have always had trouble trusting me, and that distrust is showing up once again in this go-go dancing situation.

I can't think of one serious mistake I've made. I've never gotten drunk and crashed a car, or woken up in some random person's lawn after a night of debauchery, touched drugs or alcohol, or intentionally hurt someone, that's more than the vast majority of my peers can say. So why don't you trust me? It's always been a source of anxiety for me.

So, it's over. I won't be doing it for at least another 3 and a half years. I'm not going to do it in secret. I'm done with secrets.

I'm also not going to argue with my parents anymore. It drives me nuts and you'd think they're Bush supporters after seeing how stubborn they can be .

Time to find a boring 8 dollar an hour job .

_Emerson

scem0- the deciding factor is the fact that they are helping you pay for school. They have every right to have a say in what you do while they're giving you cash for school. If you were on your own on a full ride- you could've told them to f*** off. As it is, this is what you have to do at the moment. Trust me, you made the right decision.

 

[Guitarius]

Hey Dave, Just to be the usual bitch, it's only 3 sentences long. I'd assumed you'd be still getting over your birthday party. So, where have you been hiding?
Kevin
aka Grey Beard

Yeah, I'm over my party. I've been hiding in a place called text books. School is kicking my ass this semester. I have a test today, and I'm pretty confident that I'll do good, but I'll do my best right?

I'm sick today. I think I have the black plague. This will not be good for my social life.