Abercrombieboy said:
Well I don't really know who this person is but when I hear about things like this it makes me sad. A young man like that could have went places in life, yet he was sucked into a system that is ran for nothing but profit. I hope he will some day find a way out before the drugs take over his life. There is a website somewhere that I saw once. It was dedicated to all the porn stars that died over the years and listed all of them and causes of death (if known). The majority of deaths of both male and female's included: drug overdose, suicide, homicide, and HIV/AIDS. Very few were from accidents or natural causes. Something is going on in that industry and it's not good. I still think it all goes back to how you feel about yourself, your self esteem, and the people you are around. There are some personality types that might be able to do this type of work without these issues, but for many it is too much. Think about most humans. There are all things in life that we view as private. Most people view their sex life as something that is private, yet very special to them and their wife (or other partner if they so choose.) Sex in porn is meaningless. You have just taken a large part of something that is very special and has deep meaning for many people and recorded it for the whole world to see.
When I hear about this stuff, I always think of my students and hope I can somehow make a difference when the time comes and they face these challenges in life. There is nothing more that hurts a teacher's feeling then when they see one of their students they worked so hard with go down the wrong path. I guess if I can just save one here and there I will have been successful. Many people will say my only job is to teach academics, but everyday I find myself guiding them on many things. When I find a "teachable moment" I take the time to connect my experiences in life to theirs so hopefully they can view me as a role model instead of all the negative, yet much more flashy, pop culture out there.
Self esteem is an important part of the story.
Self esteem comes from both the family unit and social groups. I will be forever in debt to Coach Harrison (who died in tragic car accident so many years ago).
Weight loss has always been an issue for me in life. In JHS, I was 5'5" and weighed 240+ pounds. Gym class was never my "friend". How in the Hell does someone that is 240+ pounds get themselves up a fricking rope? Till I had Coach Harrison for gym, I was graded on how well I did on the tasks required.
Have you seen a 240+ pound JHS kid try to do the balance beam? Not pretty.
In track and field I came in last - surprise there.
Gym in JHs was so painful that I became violently ill before each class! This was before "common sense" took hold in realizing that mental health was as important as physical health.
A couple years down the road, I lost weight. Still not the "athlete" to get good grades in gym. Till I met Coach Harrison. I learned early on it was easier to get the "pain" out of the way in gym class. That meant being the first to "volunteer" to "demonstrate" the task at hand. To try and live through the jeers and catcalls. To Harrison's credit, he did not take these lightly. I remember my failing the the balance beam with the jeers and catcalls one day.
He halted the class and called us in to the locker room. He proceeded to tell the other guys that at least I had the guts to go out there and try. And that as long as one went out there and tried, they would get an A for effort. It was the first time that I had gotten an A in in a gym class.
It was because of him that I dropped to under 200#'s by graduation.
I also did substitute teaching for the first couple years or so in college. I was given notes by the teachers to watch out for so and so. One kid "performed" on cue of course. To make a long story short on him, it was his acting out that showed that he needed a more focused approach. I decided to give it to him, while I was at his school. He came up a full point and half in his grades. I think it was due to my wanting to give back to Coach Harrison, and his belief that helping one student make themselves better was a reward that would give back 10 fold.
