Guy at school harassing my girlfriend?

[quagmire]

Well something this trivial should not be left up to the cops. I mean if your first reaction to a situation like this is to call the cops then you a tattle teller and nobody likes that. I bet that would drive this guys girls right in the direction of this so called "offender"

How is getting sexually harassed trivial? Ok, maybe if the guy was smacking her butt or pinching it. But, what the guy has done has gone above that now. Trying to lift up her shirt( probably with the intention of touching her breasts as well) and touch her "no no square" has gone criminal, hell it could be called sexual assault now. The next step for this guy is probably rape. He kept on escalating it and wouldn't be surprised if he tried it.

 

[Eraserhead]

Ah 14 and dating? Drop her and start dating again after high school.

Why?

Dump the girl and find one that respects herself enough to put this bozo down on her own.
You don't want to be involved with ANYBODY, much less a girlfriend, that allows this type of thing to happen. Dollars to donuts when the guy is messing with her, she is just laughing and flirting it off.

I think you're being a little unfair here. School isn't always a confidence building place, and she may not feel what he's doing is so unacceptable that its worth reporting which it clearly is.

And all the people in the thread telling him he should dump her are being ridiculous, dumping a girl because she gets sexually assaulted is pretty appalling, even if she isn't confident enough to report it. Especially as she's being honest and communicating about it (which is key).

How is getting sexually harassed trivial?

Quite, it most certainly isn't.

 

[dmr727]

Playground stuff - when you're older you don't have to deal with it. So just age, and it'll all be over.

Then you get to deal with your bored wife considering getting nailed by her boss at work.

But you die and that worry is over too.

LOL - fantastic reply.

 

[renewed]

Why?

Just an opinion but I think a valid one. I believe dating should be saved for when you are ready to get married. I don't believe in casually dating. You can easily find out about someone by being friends with them. You don't have to just casually date and break up with someone if they do something you don't agree with. Most of that stuff should be already discussed so that anything they do should come at no surprise. This is one reason divorce is so high. People rush into dating, engagement and marriage and neglect who they truly are. If people would find out about who a person is first and then decide to date a lot of pain would be saved.

At age 14 you are no where close to being ready to marry.

 

[charlesbronsen]

How is getting sexually harassed trivial? Ok, maybe if the guy was smacking her butt or pinching it. But, what the guy has done has gone above that now. Trying to lift up her shirt( probably with the intention of touching her breasts as well) and touch her "no no square" has gone criminal, hell it could be called sexual assault now. The next step for this guy is probably rape. He kept on escalating it and wouldn't be surprised if he tried it.

I'd bet that this is not as bad as OP says. Especially since the GF tells him to drop the subject. But ya never know he could have a fleet of asian women bound and tagged in his garage -- giggity.

OP don't listen to me

 

[Sdashiki]

I'm a Mac, and I'm 14
iPhone 3GS, iBook, Mac Mini

Aaaaaaaaand there's no reason to read any further in this topic.

There's been a rash of high school drama BS permeating these forums lately.

Teens...you need to grow up.

 

[quagmire]

I'd bet that this is not as bad as OP says. Especially since the GF tells him to drop the subject. But ya never know he could have a fleet of asian women bound and tagged in his garage -- giggity.

OP don't listen to me

As stated in this thread, she is probably 14 as well and doesn't have a high sense of confidence in herself to say to the guy what he is doing is inappropriate( or is ashamed of it. A lot of rape victims don't report getting raped). I know in my middle school a lot of butt slapping and pinching went on with the girls just taking it in stride even though it was highly inappropriate. Lifting up her shirt and trying to touch her vagina is pretty straight forward. It's sexual assault and she and/or he needs to do something about it.

 

[Eraserhead]

I'd bet that this is not as bad as OP says. Especially since the GF tells him to drop the subject.

Given that the vast majority of rapes go unreported to the police. And I'm not even taking into account the lack of confidence most people (definitely including me) have at school. So therefore I don't think your analysis is correct.

The [UK] government estimates that as many as 95% of rapes are never reported to the police at all. Of the rapes that were reported from 2007 to 2008, only 6.5% resulted in a conviction, compared with 34% of criminal cases in general.

(source)

Aaaaaaaaand there's no reason to read any further in this topic.

There's been a rash of high school drama BS permeating these forums lately.

Maybe in general, but this case is definitely worth discussing.

 

[MistaBungle]

Man up and cut her loose before you get put down hard. Girls will be girls. She's going through changes, much like you are. To be fair, puberty has hardly even started.

You are just jealous about this guy getting with your girl.

 

[Eraserhead]

You are just jealous about this guy getting with your girl.

If that was the case why would she tell her boyfriend?

 

[MistaBungle]

If that was the case why would she tell her boyfriend?

I had a girlfriend like this. She enjoyed watching boys fight over her.

 

[MattSepeta]

Bad

I am basing this off of personal experience, in conjunction with OP's story.

"I've tried talking to her about it but every time I do, she tells me to drop it and move on, like she doesn't even care. She told me that she's told him to stop, but he hasn't. It kind of seems like she likes the attention she gets from him."

You are probably right. She does like the attention.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder

Its like trying to handle a train wreck.

Just a possiblity

 

[Eraserhead]

I had a girlfriend like this. She enjoyed watching boys fight over her.

<shrug> its perfectly possible I suppose.

 

[BittenApple]

Kick his ass.

 

[quagmire]

I am with Eraser with this... Unless this is some sick way of her telling him she is cheating on him, she is getting sexually assaulted. Age doesn't matter when this happens.

How can anyone here say, " Girls will be girls" and " Dump her" when it is clear she is getting sexually assaulted? What if it was rape? Would you keep your message the same? Again, this has gone above butt slapping and pinching( still inappropriate, but fairly common as you guys say, both guys and girls are changing and we're exploring at that age).

 

[skunk]

I see you're 14.

I also see your handle is AlmostJosh.

That tells me you are AlmostAMan. Man up and cut her loose before you get put down hard. Girls will be girls. She's going through changes, much like you are. To be fair, puberty has hardly even started.

You are just jealous about this guy getting with your girl.


And it's true because he has. He told me.

Unkind, unhelpful and unnecessary. You should leave this thread.

 

[Sdashiki]

Unless the girl comes here to say what happened, this is all 3rd hand at best.

Sure, its definitely worth talking about...but why are we assuming we KNOW what happened?

And why has neither the boy or girl done anything about it from the academic level they are most certainly part of?

One word of this to a principal, teacher, counselor, that kid is majorly effed.

 

[MrMoore]

What on earth is a "no no square" ?

I think I know that area the OP is mentioning, but sure it's not a square.

 

[MistaBungle]

Looking back at the thread, you were the first one to mention rape and now you mention it again.

I think it is lawyers who have a similar perspective that begin to twist things into things that they are not. This is not rape and I think it is silly to bring that into the picture. This is a case of 14 year olds being young and dumb, nothing more.

I shall be clear, I do not think what the guy is doing is right. Far from it. But how much faith do we put in the girl? Did she encourage the playful tackle? Did she stop him from pulling up the shirt before or after it was lifted?

Girls are a handful, I recommend banging a MILF instead. You'll notice a huge difference in headaches. Move on to girls your age when you graduate university.

 

[GoCubsGo]

Playground stuff - when you're older you don't have to deal with it. So just age, and it'll all be over.

Then you get to deal with your bored wife considering getting nailed by her boss at work.

But you die and that worry is over too.

God this is awesome!

i would get law enforcement involved.

....Are you for reals?

That's ridonkulus!
But really, if he really is touching this girl against her wishes then at the very least tell the school.

10 months? Ultimatum time! Tell her if she doesn't put this lowlife down or whatever, then your out. Don't deal with the stress of a boy crazy girl. Which she is if she refuses to hurt the other guys feelings.

If he keeps trying to touch her, that is not cool. She should tell someone, a teacher, or whoever to make it stop. What is right is right, and that is not cool. Like the above poster said, it could lead elsewhere. Dude could shove your chick up to the wall and try to start feeling her up hardcore if she doesn't stop.

Merely flirting it off or what not could, and most likely, is what is egging him on. It also sends the wrong image out, she should have more self-respect than that.

Seriously? Don't give childish advice to a child, it's not cool.

AlmostJosh it truly sounds like something is up. Then again at 14 I would have never thought a boy would do something like that. If the story is as you tell it then she needs to go to the school. If she's just screwing with you then you may want to do as told and brace yourself.

 

[quagmire]

Looking back at the thread, you were the first one to mention rape and now you mention it again.

I think it is lawyers who have a similar perspective that begin to twist things into things that they are not. This is not rape and I think it is silly to bring that into the picture. This is a case of 14 year olds being young and dumb, nothing more.

I shall be clear, I do not think what the guy is doing is right. Far from it. But how much faith do we put in the girl? Did she encourage the playful tackle? Did she stop him from pulling up the shirt before or after it was lifted?

Girls are a handful, I recommend banging a MILF instead. You'll notice a huge difference in headaches. Move on to girls your age when you graduate university.

I said it could move to rape as his actions have escalated. It is sexual assault. Lifting her shirt( and probably trying to cope a feel of her breasts) and trying to touch her vagina is pretty clearly sexual assault.

This is a case of a 14 year old girl not having self-esteem or confidence in herself and/or is ashamed of what he is doing to her. Everyone is reading into her saying, " Drop it and move on" as her saying she is going to dump him. But, I read it as her being ashamed of what is being done to her due to her lack of self-esteem and confidence. Flirting is one thing, but no one deserves what is being done to her and she most likely doesn't want to encourage it.

And isn't going after a MILF a bit illegal at his age?

 

[MattSepeta]

Sounds like this

Sounds like AlmostJosh has a full on set of 100 problems

Tell her that if she does not take it to the authorities (The school administrators, even bringing the police into the equation is wayyy overkill), then you do not want to hear about it.

Her telling you accomplishes nothing. You get upset, and she gets attention. Even if you act on your feelings then, only negative can come from that!

Trust your gut. She not only likes the attention she gets from him, but also from you.

PS. Middle school -> Highschool it does not get any better. Teens:Crazy::Cats:Cuddly

 

[Eraserhead]

Another comment, I don't want to go into detail but my main high-school relationship involved ridiculous quantities of drama, lies and ******** games. Additionally I have travelled around the world so I've had a fair few scams attempted on my as well.

If I'm jumping to the "she's probably not lying" option I've got a fairly good chance of being right .

This is a case of a 14 year old girl not having self-esteem or confidence in herself and/or is ashamed of what he is doing to her.

Like at least 95% of grown women.

Her telling you accomplishes nothing.

She probably feels she should report it deep down and has to tell someone.

 

[quagmire]

Tell her that if she does not take it to the authorities (The school administrators, even bringing the police into the equation is wayyy overkill), then you do not want to hear about it.

How is the school administrators overkill? That is the minimum of what he should do.

So far no one has explained to me why the cops are overkill. What is going on is not simple butt slapping and pinching, but full on sexual assault. And ummm.... last time I checked that was highly illegal.......

How is anyone here trying to downplay what is happening? I mean yeah, it could be her just wanting attention, but he should also not take this lightly.

 

[Eraserhead]

How is anyone here trying to downplay what is happening? I mean yeah, it could be her just wanting attention, but he should also not take this lightly.

Because people are largely in denial about the effects of sexual assault and rape and they are difficult to control legally as they are virtually impossible to prove beyond all reasonable doubt.