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Young girls accept a lot of horrible behaviour thinking that is what they're supposed to do. Then as time goes on and confidence builds, hopefully the tolerance for that BS goes way down.

All you can [or should] do is recommend she tell someone if the situation is bothering her, or urge her to be more assertive in how she tells him to stop it. That's a skill any teenage girl needs to become familiar with. After that, I think you should drop it, because even if she should stand up for herself, it's not your place to do that for her.
 
You should get law enforcement involved and contact her school/parents. This is a crime and should go punished.


lol just kidding, you should sack the **** up and talk to the guy personally.
 
I'd imagine this is the kind of thinking that leads to the many unreported rape claims.

Edit: Ah beaten to the punch already!

Maybe. People may disagree with calling the cops, but it is a viable option. It isn't overkill and certainly not immature and childish because there is a major crime being committed. Calling the cops on a person spitting on you would be overkill, but sexual assault? Do kids really see sexual assault as no big deal?
 
Maybe. People may disagree with calling the cops, but it is a viable option. It isn't overkill and certainly not immature and childish because there is a major crime being committed. Calling the cops on a person spitting on you would be overkill, but sexual assault? Do kids really see sexual assault as no big deal?

The unfortunate fact is that often times young girls (and boys, for that matter) don't see it as a sexual assault. It's attention, sometimes perceived as self-confirming attention. It's just something they have to grow out of before learning/realizing it's unacceptable behaviour and treating it as such.

When I was a teenage girl I put up with having my ass slapped, my boobs grabbed, my body in general spoken about like it was just an object, been bear-hugged off my feet until I finally kicked the guy to let me go, etc. I never thought much of it at the time. Just one of those things. It's not until I got older I looked back and thought "what the hell was I thinking?" :eek:
 
Like others are saying, this is a case of sexual harassment that should be dealt with at the school level first. If I were you, my first thought would be to try to get her to understand that she is being harassed. This kind of behavior is not tolerated in the workplace or at university and it shouldn't be tolerated at a high school either.

BTW Whether you think the OP should or should not be 'dating' now is entirely beside the point. I don't see how that's helpful.
 
Maybe. People may disagree with calling the cops, but it is a viable option. It isn't overkill and certainly not immature and childish because there is a major crime being committed. Calling the cops on a person spitting on you would be overkill, but sexual assault? Do kids really see sexual assault as no big deal?

Funniest part.. Your name is "quagmire". :cool:
 
I think it is lawyers who have a similar perspective that begin to twist things into things that they are not.

Yep. They're all the same. Just like the [insert wide reaching generalisation here]. :rolleyes:

In my experience, diagnosing somebody with a personality disorder on the secondhand report of the guy who feels wronged or insecure because of her is probably not an especially reliable thing to do.

Furthermore, diagnosing a teenaged girl with an affliction whose symptoms include emotional unpredictability, attention-seeking and not really seeming to know what she wants out of a relationship is like diagnosing water with wet.

This is close second for POTD.

OP, what the hell were you thinking starting this thread? You've been here long enough to know what it would turn into. Or maybe you're just trolling. Shrug.

I know, I know. That's exactly what I thought when I read the title. But you're here reading it too. It's addictive. Like crack.

Lastly, I definitely don't condone dating, but you're free to do whatever you want, so I'm not going to give a biased opinion and say to break up with her.

So how do you initiate relationships? I'm just wondering if I can cut out all the crap bits and jump straight into bed*.

AppleMatt
*joking. But how do you initiate a relationship?
 
but the relationship will eventually break up, might as well cut your losses.

I know several people who've stayed together for decades and are in fact still together after meeting at school, so it does happen ;).

If she was that bothered she'd do something about it, properly.

Given the British government have estimated that 95% of rapes aren't reported (which is something people would definitely be bothered about) I don't think that's a reasonable statement.
 
So how do you initiate relationships? I'm just wondering if I can cut out all the crap bits and jump straight into bed*.

AppleMatt
*joking. But how do you initiate a relationship?

Hooker + Cash = Bed

Though for a marriage without dating there are still parts of the world where the marriage is arranged by the parents. Then you get surprised by the appearance and personality of the spouse on the wedding day:eek:.
 
I know several people who've stayed together for decades and are in fact still together after meeting at school, so it does happen ;).

Same, but they were never in relationships whilst at school...

Given the British government have estimated that 95% of rapes aren't reported (which is something people would definitely be bothered about) I don't think that's a reasonable statement.

I'd hardly call this rape...
 
I'd hardly call this rape...

Neither would I, but as Quagmire says the psychology is similar.

If only 5% of rape cases in the UK are reported then stuff like this will be less likely to be reported by the general population as its less serious and less cut and dried and probably even less likely to be reported in a school.

Now its possible that rapes are much more likely to be reported in the US but I don't have any comparable numbers on that.
 
It's definitely WAY over the line, far beyond being playful.

Understand, I see in your sig. you state you're 14, so you're young, meaning she probably is too. She probably DOES like the attention, young girls do, all girls really, but it doesn't excuse it's perversion.

I don't know how long you've been dating, but if not to long, then this is hers, and only her, battle. If the relationship has a long history, meaning more than say 6 months, then it is up to you to protect. But do it in a manner that is necessary for a 14 year old to do. :p

Be safe, and attentive, not physical and impulsive.

AL9o

Well said! I agree with all the above...worst case scenario cut her loose and find something else at the mall, church, Apple store...etc.

Girls your age are a dime a dozen...rinse repeat...
 
So how do you initiate relationships? I'm just wondering if I can cut out all the crap bits and jump straight into bed*.

AppleMatt
*joking. But how do you initiate a relationship?

Ha. I should've added High school before dating.....My fault. I know I mentioned it previously in that post, just didn't remember to use the same exact words. :p. Nice catch.
 
hook up with her best friend. She seems to take you as a joke because she is telling you about it and telling you to leave it alone... So hook up with her best friend :cool:
 
She's trying to make you jealous. You offered to help but she says it's no big deal, than why act like it's a problem in the first place? Chicks do this even when they're older so get used to it now. Just ignore the bait and move on.

and LOL at the people saying call the police...weren't you ever 14?
 
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