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how do i tell my girlfriend she's Fat without hurting her feelings...

From Buffy...

Vamp Minion: Does this sweater make me look fat?

Sunday (Vamp Leader): No, the fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.
 
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How do you tell her she's fat without hurting her feelings?

You don't. Because it will
 
as other suggested, make sure your life is an active lifestyle. start doing active things and eating properly. get some books on eating healthy and tell her that you're (you, yourself) are going to start being healthier and hopefully, she'll buy in.

Especially, if you're making the right foods and going out for walks or bike rides or the gym. if she wants to spend time with you, she'll want to go and if she doesn't offer up, ask her to join you. Don't mention the weight at all if you think she can't handle the concern.

that's what I would do if i were in your boots.

good luck,
keebler

btw, you can look for circuit training programs in your area. They are tremendously tough to start, but you can knock down 700-800 calories in a 45 minute session. Couple that with healthy eating and you're well on your way. This isn't like the bootcamps which are time constricted. Find one that continues throughout the year.
 
krazykatstudio said:
and what shape is YOUR body in, boyfriend?
telling her is not helping her. instead, tell her (only if you really mean it) that you want her to be healthy so you can grow old together. then, go for a walk. hold hands. exercise is good for both of you. you can work your way up to the gym later. Encourage healthier eating. eat together. find out why she is stress eating. Ignore that other guy, he is so wrong. Have sex more often! make sure its fun for her. with a little of the right kind of encouragement and reward, girls can accomplish alot. Do it together, and when you reach the goal, treat yourself to a fun weekend someplace you can show off that sexy slim body.

my kid sis was super thin (stressedout sick thin) when she met her boyfriend. He is a super buff athlete. over a year, she slowly climbed back up to her normal weight, then got stressed out over life, ate late, and put on 30 lbs...she knew she was getting fat, and cried about it to me. so this is what he did, and now she is losing weight, will go to the gym, and will be bod beautimus when they go on their honeymoon in Sept.
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bossxii said:
Can you just photoshop her back to skinny?? :D

On a more serious note umm first think about what has changed in her life that has made her gain weight? Did she start eating bad? Stop working out? Just leave high school, off to college etc...

People tend to gain weight/eat due to lifestyle change or as comfort for some area in their life that has changed. Depression, anxiety, job, stress etc...

Think about what changed that lead to her weight gain and then if it's something you can help her deal with talk to her about the issue (stress, job, money etc..) Don't try to fix her, you will likely only make it worse, try to listen to her problem that is causing her to eat, gain weight. I'm betting something about her or your relationship has changed along with her weight gain. Find that problem and you will find a solution to the other.
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raggedjimmi said:
Oh there's no easy way I'm afraid :)
My girlfriends had been very slim for years, we both wanted her to put weight on and when she did (still under her BMI though) I congratulated her and I got shouted at :eek:. I'd just do what other posters have said and go jogging together, don't say it's to "lose weight" but to "keep in shape", maybe. Running, swimming, cycling, very long walks/hikes are all good.
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ChrisA said:
"Burning" calories just does not work. Unless you have many hours a day you are only going to burn a few hundred calories by exercise. The really big calorie losses have to come from diet. By simply not eating so much you can loose as as many calories as you need to where as with exercise you can burn at most a few hundred a day.

Don't get me wrong exercise is good for many reasons. But to loose one pound you need to loose (by either exercise or diet) 3,600 calories. So if the goal is to loose 15 pounds you need to loose 54,000 calories. Most people are simple unable to exercise that much.

You are going to have to go on a "Healthy Eating" project (don't call it a "diet" or you might as well call her "fat") But "Healthy Eating" is cool even if you are in good shape.

Same with exercise. Don't call it that. call it "Active Lifestyle". It should not be something you do to loose weight. It needs to be something you do because that is what you like to do. For me, I like to ride my bike and swim and then hike or climb on week ends. Find something you like
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Prof. said:
That's exactly what I was thinking. My sister is dating a guy who is somewhat of a gym rat - nice arms, chest and butt (of course I check him out:p). Ever since they started dating, my sister has been going to the gym every night after work.

OP - how old are you and your GF, if you don't mind me asking. :)
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Melrose said:
"how do I tell my girlfriend she's fat" LOL.

You, my friend, have a....

00000452%5B4%5D.jpg.jpeg


:D
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cherry su said:
buy wii + wii fit?
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WOW, thank you guys so much... we're both 21, and yeah it all happened as she went to college, she used to be in the dance team until she injured her ankle... after surgery she has dance but not on the same level, i believe this might have affected her in a great way as dancing is her passion. Thats why i kinda don't want her to run... kinda worried... i think i'll try biking or swimming... a long with a "healthy eating" ;) i've gained some pounds myself hehe, but nothing noticeable.. i weigh 140lbs, pretty much a skeleton lol. I've heard her say something about "my bones are big" hehe which is something i've never believed to be true in anyone :p. you guys have given me some great advice and make me laugh in the process as well! thanks again

Jin
 
if you two have been with each other long enough (as you have stated) she will understand when u just tell her. and as others have said, she probably knows.

working out together is really fun, grocery shop together, start eating better... but do it all together, that will show that you are interested and you are showing effort as well.

it isnt gonna happen over night but if you do it together it's more fun :)
 
Is she an Apple nerd as well? If so the Nike Plus could be a great present. ( i know you said you didnt want to run, but its a great tool if you do) Or perhaps a new Shuffle to go to the gym with?
 
Chundles said:
Stop having sex with her....
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I would have thought the opposite would be more effective.



If you know what I mean. ;);)


But yeah, telling her straight up= death, so I'd suggest maybe asking her about joining you in some kind of physical activity that she likes and (used to) do often. <<<Take a dance class if that's what she likes. :)
 
Just about the only advice I've ever been given that's of any use is this - "you can't change anybody but yourself".

I'd spend a bit of time thinking about why this is so important to you and why you want to control your girlfriend.
 
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If you love her, a few pounds don't matter.

I'm interested - why's it not "cool" any more? Is that not more a reflection on you than her?
 
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I would just flat out tell her that she is fat and needs to lose weight. I do it to my sister and mom all the time. My girlfriend even tells me if she ever starts getting fat to let her know and I would have no problem telling her.

Telling people the truth even though it may hurt is always the best, if she gets upset who cares when it is for the best you shouldn't worry about hurting someones feelings. Some people actually need to get upset to light a fire up under thier ass and then maybe she will do something about it.

I know to some the above comments sounded like a D*** but I'm just an honest person.
 
This is a tough question to have to answer with limited data. What exactly is "fat"?

Remember when Alicia Silverstone got excoriated for playing Batgirl because she was "fat"? Or what Jessica Simpson is going through now? Both girls took a lot of abuse, but they were curvy, not fat. Are we talking about that kind of "fat", or are we talking about seriously overweight?

Assuming she's actually overweight, you may have a major decision in front of you. Yeah, you might be able to get her to exercise the weight off, but if she's gaining a little now, chances are she's gonna gain even more when she's 30 or 40 or 50. (Obvious hint: what's her family look like?)

Now: can you live with that? Or is that a dealbreaker?
 
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If your relationship isn't strong enough to have a discussion with her and you have to talk about it on here, I fear a little for your long term prospects. I don't mean to be judgement, that is just my initial feeling.

Anyway, I can tell you how I'd approach it. 'How do you feel about going on a health kick. I feel I've got a little out of shape and don't feel as healthy has I used to. I could really use some support - will you do it with me?".
 
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Jinsou said:
I've heard her say something about "my bones are big" hehe which is something i've never believed to be true in anyone :p
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Some people truly do, my girlfriend is 6'2 but has a normal girl's proportions so it's like she's scaled up 25% in every dimension. She used to play rugby and I kid you not people have broken bones on her.

On the subject at hand, I don't really know what to suggest, my girlfriend and I are very open and honest with each other to the point that we just openly discuss such things without getting in a flap. Tbh though I don't much mind how much she weighs as long as it doesn't have a considerable impact on her health be it mental or physical.

Is she obviously down about it and is it bad enough that you worry about her health? Or is it just you that has a problem?
 
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