Apple just needs to ship a neutered version of iOS in the EU that removes the iMessage and FaceTime clients, then block those services completely in the EU, and just ship with SMS out of the box. Also remove Music, Podcasts, App Store, etc. Basically ship a device that makes calls, with a time-limited browser containing text links to other stores and services, with EU companies at the top, then alphabetical. Jack up prices in the EU by 20% to compensate for jumping through all of their hoops.
Apple will take a hit on services, but still get hardware revenue. They can also start implementing a plan to shut down Apple Pay and other services the EU will not explicitly allow. The EU should tell Apple specifically which services they may offer, and let them sunset the ones that aren't. They should also set up an agency where foreign companies can present their business plans first, before trying to enter the EU market, in order to know if their business will be permitted to operate there.