NO. I've personally experienced getting my tracking number from TMO after I had my iPhone in hand. The only reason I knew about a package arriving was UPS MyChoice. For that particular instance, my phone "arrived" in Louisville at 2 AM and I received it later that afternoon. That said, I do benefit from living only 4 hours from Louisville, so YMMV.
And to everyone asking about their card being charged, you're golden! TMO doesn't charge your card until your unit has been allocated for shipping. In other words, if you've been charged, your iPhone is shipping shortly and you should have it on Friday.
Source: me. Been doing this TMO pre-order thing for years (even before we got the iPhone).