UPDATE: Called Apple Tech Support. Clearly a known issue. I didn't call to complain or demand or even ask for anything - I called to let them know that I, too was experiencing this "non-issue."
They offered up a free bumper for my troubles.
But here's the "kicker." Before they send me my free bumper - they are requesting I sign something legal (not sure what it is yet as it's going to be emailed to me in the next 24-48 hours) that I would need to sign..
Now - I have no idea what's in the paperwork. And nothing against Apple who is at least trying to do something. But I don't think I'm inclined to accept their free gift if it means signing away any ability to take other recourse if in the future there's a recall/suit/etc.
Perhaps paranoid - but I would imagine the paperwork to be signed says something to the effect that the matter has been "resolved." as far as both parties are concerned.
Will let you know when I get the email/document.
this is starting to smell really bad, whatever you do don't sign anything