First dress Hodgeman up in a dress, high heels and lipstick
Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac
PC: And I'm a PC
Mac: Hey PC, What's with the outfit?
PC: Haven't you heard? Microsoft is spending $300 million dollars to spruce up my image.
Mac: Well, you look... great.
PC: Thanks. I appreciate the compliment.
Mac: So, hows it, working for you.
PC: I like all the glamor but its not really me. I mean lipstick, girdles, all that setup and preparation. Dealing with accessories that work or don't work. You have it easy.
Mac: What do you mean?
PC: Don't give me that. All you have to do is turn yourself on and everything's ready. Drag, drop and off you go. You were born with a natural advantage - iMovie, iPhoto - you can even run Windows applications if you have to. Not to mention you go great with neat devices like iPods, iPhones and digital cameras. It'd cost me extra just to get a screen as good as you were born with. Some people have it easy.
Mac: Come on PC. Think positive.
PC: Easy for you to say. There is one thing though
Mac: What's that?
PC: Takes my mind off of Vista.
Goes to closing shot of an iMac with PC stumbling off in the background.
PC (muttering): Damn heels.
Apple is free to use w/o permission. (another mac would be nice though

)