Right I'm fed up with all these rumours. Whatever they produce now it'll be a resounding disappointment. I'm now in a state where I'll have a tantrum if my new

Macbook Pro doesn't have:
- something that looks like the one below (pic shown in orig. post), but with an iphone sized trackpad to reduce cost, as Apple must be good friends with the supplier of those and a huge one is unnecessary.
- I want it to have two real physical mouse buttons.
- I wanna be able to put the dock in the trackpad, so I can make my apps fullscreen without wasting a gap along the left or bottom of my screen
- This'll keep my greasy fingers off the main display, but still be fine for switching apps, since I want to be able to flip between windows and apps without using my other hand for F3 (expose). This means I can browse and flip pages, and navigate my mac with one hand, and sip champagne, or smoke a victory cigar with the other when I'm not typing.

(BTW: This won't give me a bad neck as I'll only be glancing at it, and the true cost of the iPhone screen alone can't be *that* much extra).
- I wanna have access to DVD/itunes menu controls on it with the video or other app fullscreen on the trackpad.
- I want to be able to do slideshows/presentations/etc full screen whilst using the dock to flip, pause, etc.
- I wanna be able to turn it off and display the dock normally to save power when using it on battery.
- I want it to be able to write someone an email or memo with the keyboard, then pop a stylus out the side of the MBP and can add a quick sketch/doodle of my idea with the trackpad without having to do a long winded mouse-done drawing in a proper graphics package. (sometimes a diagram says a thousand words, but I don't want to spend 15mins drawing it in a drawing app with a mouse)
- It shall have either a Quad-core, or Dual 3GHz processor
- I want it to be expandable to 8GB RAM
- I want a "battle of hastings" 1066MHz FSB
- I want 2x 500GB, 16MB cache 5400rpm 2.5" 12MM SATA HDD, or equivalent 7200rpm drives, so I can either have 500GB RAID, or 1TB depending how I make up my mind.
- It shall have a power brick with an ethernet connector and a built in 802.11n airport on, where the ethernet FIBRE NETWORKING & FIREWIRE & HDMI comes up the cable VIA FIBRE OPTIC with the power. Then I only need 1 lead on my desk wherever I am when I'm using it plugged in, but if I unplug it switches to wireless network so I can use it anywhere nearby using the power brick as the wireless hub.
- I want a frikkin' laser on my power brick so I can shoot stuff either by being connected, or I can use above built in airport extreme to shoot stuff via 802.11n
- I want FW3200 port
- I want an included FW400 to FW800/3200 adapter so I can plug my audio interface into it without having to go to Maplin on my way home.
- I want a Blu-ray drive
- I wanna also be able to run the laptop powered from a tesla coil at apple HQ (see tesla's energy transmitting experiments)
That's not too much to ask is it?