"Put the seat down..."

[SpookTheHamster]

every time you flush, all those waste products spread in the air up to 10 feet away. do you want your urine or feces spreading onto the door handle, your toothbrush, etc.?

i dont think so. consider covering the toilet after use before flushing.

Did you see mythbusters when they attempted to test that? They ended up with just as much nastiness on toothbrushes left in a different room as in the toilet. With that in mind, do you really think it affects you at all by leaving the lid up? If we tried to avoid anything unclean we'd all have awful immune systems.

 

[Legolamb]

Did you see mythbusters when they attempted to test that? They ended up with just as much nastiness on toothbrushes left in a different room as in the toilet. With that in mind, do you really think it affects you at all by leaving the lid up? If we tried to avoid anything unclean we'd all have awful immune systems.

I don't know if this was raised by the Mythbusters segment or I read it somewhere, but the nastiest place is really the toilet handle.

 

[fairnymph]

I thought the bottom of women's purses were the worst...one of many reasons I rarely use a purse.

 

[Queso]

It has nothing to do with germs; I am not germ phobic at all. I just think it's gross/stinky.

My point is that I don't have to work or live with you (thank god!) and everyone I've encountered in my life has been willing to cater to my irrational behaviour!

I obviously can't dictate, and you're taking things MUCH too personally if you are even using that term. I would request, very kindly (unless you were in my home - but that's another matter). I find it amazing how often people are willing to do things for you if you treat them well and ask nicely.

Alot of people men seem to really think this is an issue of power/control, and while it can be, it certainly isn't always, and I imagine such men must feel very insecure to turn such a minor issue into a major conflict.

LOL. You think I see this as questioning my manhood?

As you have pointed out there are ways of this issue being presented. However, in my experience with unisex facilities there is an assumption from the ladies that the female preference should be automatically adopted, and as other posters have pointed out the reaction to this assumption not being met is often greeted with outright hostility. If you ask nicely then it is to be applauded, but others are not so thoughtful. Men are not lesser because they leave the seat up, yet to hear some of the women I've worked with you'd think we'd murdered a child in there or something.

So turning this around, why is it that so many women have such a chip on their shoulder about this? As I keep saying, there are washbasins in there, so touching the seat is quickly negated by use of soap and water. Could it be that the women are the ones with the insecurity issues?

 

[synth3tik]

I think women are worse at forgetting the seat, maybe as theirs really does not move. I am the type of guy who likes my seat and the lid down. The sight of a bowl, even a clean bowl is not pleasing. I like it down. My old roommate's lady friend would always leave the lid up. I would then ask her to place the lid down when she was done, gave her excuses like "I don't want the cat drinking it" and all. she then ask "well if you leave the seat up all the time, why can't I leave it down?" ummmmm WHAT!! lid down, please



Seat + Lid + down = nice....

 

[devilot]

I thought the bottom of women's purses were the worst...one of many reasons I rarely use a purse.

Um, a purse is not inherently "dirty" or germy. Purse bottoms get filthy from resting them on bathroom floors. I'm glad my mom taught me never ever to do so.

So turning this around, why is it that so many women have such a chip on their shoulder about this? ... Could it be that the women are the ones with the insecurity issues?

Honestly? I wouldn't be surprised. Power dynamics overall. I think that in many ways and in many situations, men still maintain a great deal of power in many societies, and though this is so seemingly trivial, it seems like one place in which it is almost widely "accepted" that men should cater to women's preferences.

*hopes this won't go to the PRSI*



And agreed, I put seat and lid down before flushing and leave 'em down 'til I need to use the toilet.

 

[synth3tik]

Did you see mythbusters when they attempted to test that? They ended up with just as much nastiness on toothbrushes left in a different room as in the toilet. With that in mind, do you really think it affects you at all by leaving the lid up? If we tried to avoid anything unclean we'd all have awful immune systems.

FYI those guys are not scientists, and that experiment was flawed, there was no containment.

IE they brought the control brushes into the bathroom.

 

[Mord]

Um, a purse is not inherently "dirty" or germy. Purse bottoms get filthy from resting them on bathroom floors. I'm glad my mom taught me never ever to do so.

I flipping hate it when there's not a hook to hang your stuff on on the back of the door, I hate having to sit there holding my coat and bag while I pee.

 

[Foxglove9]

I flipping hate it when there's not a hook to hang your stuff on on the back of the door, I hate having to sit there holding my coat and bag while I pee.

So true! Even worse: there's no hook and the floor is wet but you don't know what it is wet from. Argh! I hate using public bathrooms!

 

[fairnymph]

LOL. You think I see this as questioning my manhood?

As you have pointed out there are ways of this issue being presented. However, in my experience with unisex facilities there is an assumption from the ladies that the female preference should be automatically adopted, and as other posters have pointed out the reaction to this assumption not being met is often greeted with outright hostility. If you ask nicely then it is to be applauded, but others are not so thoughtful. Men are not lesser because they leave the seat up, yet to hear some of the women I've worked with you'd think we'd murdered a child in there or something.

So turning this around, why is it that so many women have such a chip on their shoulder about this? As I keep saying, there are washbasins in there, so touching the seat is quickly negated by use of soap and water. Could it be that the women are the ones with the insecurity issues?

I absolutely agree that there should be no assumptions. I grew up in a female-dominated house, so for me the default is seat down, but that certainly does not make seat down the default universally.

And I agree that attacking a man (especially if the topic has never been discussed!) for leaving the seat up is ridiculous (and impolite) behaviour.

Suffice to say, ANYONE who gets overly worked up about this has some issues, and needs to learn some basic people skills (and perhaps mature a little).

As for the washbasins being right nearby, well, in the case of their being stalls which are separate from the sink, this would require 2x handwashing, which is annoying. But that would be the case for either sex, if the seat is not in the preferred position upon entry.

 

[fairnymph]

Um, a purse is not inherently "dirty" or germy. Purse bottoms get filthy from resting them on bathroom floors. I'm glad my mom taught me never ever to do so.

LOL, I was not intending to imply that purses are inherently germ-infested.

However, I'm pretty sure it's not just from resting on bathroom floors that purses get dirty -- most women don't put their purses on the floor, from what I've seen. I think it's just the fact that they are taken everywhere and rarely if ever washed.

 

[iBlue]

I have no strong opinions on how it "should" or "shouldn't" be in public but in our home we both have to think about the position of the seat before using the loo - because the lid gets closed before any flushing goes on. ick. Lid down, thanksverymuch.

 

[Queso]

Suffice to say, ANYONE who gets overly worked up about this has some issues, and needs to learn some basic people skills (and perhaps mature a little).

Anyone who makes an issue of what position the toilet seat starts in needs to mature a little. It shows they believe the world should always be set out ready for their needs. Very self-centred behaviour typical of a toddler. The mature thing to do is accept that we're all different and adjust the seat to how each of us needs it.

As for the washbasins being right nearby, well, in the case of their being stalls which are separate from the sink, this would require 2x handwashing, which is annoying. But that would be the case for either sex, if the seat is not in the preferred position upon entry.

Unless toilet cubicles are all redesigned to incorporate showers we have to accept that we are going to get that little bit dirtier by using the facilities. Even the air in there contains particles that most of us would rather not think about, but we don't go in holding our breath until we've finished. As I've said, the expectation that you can use a public convenience without coming into contact with dirt, germs etc. isn't realistic. That's why I view this insistence to accommodate other people's incomprehensible requirements just downright bizarre.

However, you do bring up an interesting point. I grew up in a male dominated household, with two brothers, myself and my father on one side of this issue and my mother on the other. Maybe the precedence of our own histories is the deciding factor on where we stand (or sit, if you prefer ) in the debate.

 

[aloofman]

It's just a power trip, plain and simple. There is no logical reason why a guy should prep a toilet seat for a woman and not the other way around. She's conforming your behavior for her own convenience and to establish the ways that she's in control of the household.

If guys are willing to do that to avoid an argument, then that's fine. But let's not kid ourselves about the reason.

 

[Queso]

It's just a power trip, plain and simple. There is no logical reason why a guy should prep a toilet seat for a woman and not the other way around. She's conforming your behaviour for her own convenience and to establish the ways that she's in control of the household.

I don't think it's that. I think girls are conditioned into believing that touching the toilet seat is something dirty and disgusting and they carry that conditioning into adulthood, whereas men, due to their different biology, are conditioned that touching the toilet seat is just something everybody has to do.

 

[skunk]

I don't think it's that. I think girls are conditioned into believing that touching the toilet seat is something dirty and disgusting and they carry that conditioning into adulthood, whereas men, due to their different biology, are conditioned that touching the toilet seat is just something everybody has to do.

Where on earth do you get that from?

 

[Queso]

Where on earth do you get that from?

Just a theory. Might be complete rubbish, but you never know...

 

[rijiMacDij]

So true! Even worse: there's no hook and the floor is wet but you don't know what it is wet from. Argh! I hate using public bathrooms!

Being a Stander, I find it even worse when all the above are combined with your pants trying to fall down into the wetness while you try to keep the door shut with a spare elbow.

SHEESHE

Oh, and all this while trying not to pee on the seat while it is in the *up* position.LOL.

Have noted your readyness to politely request seat pre-positioning and must say I would oblige you without a second thought, however most of the times I have been appproached re this issue it has been in a spirit of antagonistic dominance and I simply do not give those people what they *demand*.

 

[Legolamb]

Toilets, like soap dispensers, hand dryers, and way too many other things have sensors to determine when to flush, dispense. Frequently doesn't work, but that's besides the point.
You know there is going to be a "pattern recognition" gadget to figure out how to automatically lift the lid. I'd love to work on this. Of course, this will require much sampling......

 

[MarkCollette]

The thing as well is that people who are kind of paranoid about germs make it worse for those of us who aren't. ... I've noticed there is always piss on the seat and it's clearly because someone's hovered over it, pissed all over the seat, and then not wanted to touch it to clean it up. Equally, using your foot for stuff where hands and arses would usually go means that whatever you've stood in for the last week is going to be all over the toilet seat, which is a far bigger health risk than a bit of pee.

Totally. It's a tragedy of the commons, where people, acting in their own self-interest, make things worse for others.

It's like there are maybe three classes of toilet users:

- The nasty ones who don't know/care that they're despoiling the place.

- The clean people who do an average job.

- The psycho neat freaks who will stand on the seat and plush with their feet, and make everything worse for others, while remaining pristine themselves.

Which leads me to admit what I do in the bathroom, hopefully to inspire others likewise, or at least embarass myself. Let's call this the hyper neat freaks

I always leave a toilet cleaner than it was before I came. If it's just my toilet, and no one else has used it, then I will still wipe it down before I sit on it. And whether I've sat or stood, I'll wipe it down again after use, before closing the lid and flushing. If someone else has used the toilet, then I'll take toilet paper, and put soap and hot water on it, and scrub everything down, and then wipe it down to dry it, before using it.

And on an environmental side-note, which is slightly relevant, since it's slightly antithetical to the clean-freakery, if I just pee, and it's not stinky, and there's no one around, then I'll try not to flush it, so as to conserve water. But I don't like doing that if anyone is at my home, because I don't want them to think that I forgot, or am otherwise dirty.

 

[fairnymph]

It's just a power trip, plain and simple. There is no logical reason why a guy should prep a toilet seat for a woman and not the other way around. She's conforming your behavior for her own convenience and to establish the ways that she's in control of the household.

If guys are willing to do that to avoid an argument, then that's fine. But let's not kid ourselves about the reason.

While many things are about power, and this issue CAN be, it's not plainly and simply about power all the time.

Also, there are certainly incidents of men demanding the seat be up (I have not encountered this personally, but know people who have), and so the sex-bias of your whole comment rather upsets me.

Men and women can BOTH be controlling. I think mature people should be able to decide on household rules that are mutually acceptable.

 

[DoogieWoogie]

Anyone who complains about the seat being up really doesnt have much going on in their life. I have absolutely no time for them and I specifically make sure I leave it up just to annoy them.

Complainer: "Somebody left the toilet seat up".
Me "well, put it down then". - Problem solved.

In fact, a great way to test somebodies friendship is to do the toilet seat test! Give it a try.

 

[aloofman]

While many things are about power, and this issue CAN be, it's not plainly and simply about power all the time.

Also, there are certainly incidents of men demanding the seat be up (I have not encountered this personally, but know people who have), and so the sex-bias of your whole comment rather upsets me.

Men and women can BOTH be controlling. I think mature people should be able to decide on household rules that are mutually acceptable.

I didn't think of it as sex bias. I've only ever heard women make demands about toilet seat position. If it's the guy nagging about it, then the same thing applies. And I didn't mean to discount all the times that men are the controlling ones. Clearly they often are. While not all women (or even most, really) make a big deal of it, I wrote 'she' because I've never heard a man do it.

 

[j26]

If toilet seats are dirty and women don't want to touch them, why should men be expected to touch them to lift them, and touch them again to put them down? We can always just leave them down, and then nobody has to touch them.

A bit of a double standard going on here, I think.

 

[NATO]

Something I have been told by a friend who was told it by a lady-friend of his from the U.S. is that women 'back' into the toilet and as a result can fall into the toilet or hurt themselves if the seat isn't down.

My immediate response was 'Why the hell would you back into a toilet without ever looking at it to see if the seat was up or down?' My friend said that he asked her exactly the same thing and was met with puzzlement! As if that was normal practice! Personally, when I walk into a bathroom, I make sure I can see the thing first before deciding to use it, I don't just randomly shuffle backwards into it and hope the seat is down!!!

(Of course this is could be totally wrong, but I have heard elsewhere that women have fallen into toilets or hurt themselves from the lack of toilet seat, which makes me think this is slightly more common that it initally seems )

Edit: I just found a site which seems to partially explain this whole 'backing into the toilet' thing, although from reading it, it's quite possibly the most ridiculous thing in terms of flawed logic in quite some time, and certainly comes through as being 'all about me, me, me' from the women.