Think she moved on, feel awful

[Hieveryone]

Hi everyone things are going good. I mean same nonsense but we are both used to it now lol.

We've been together for almost 3 months and I know her "cycles" and it doesn't even bother me anymore.

I also give her a hard time sometimes but she knows when I'm doing it and just asks me straight if I'm just playing games or something similar to that and then I just laugh and it's fine.

I feel confident in our relationship *knock on wood* and that's what matters. The nonsense doesn't matter to me.

Therefore, I've decided not to drive 2 hours to see the other girl tonight. I feel bad for her, but hey that's the game sometimes.

Obviously, if things change, then I'll move on. I want a normal dating life. I don't want to be dating multiple people at the same time. It's too much work and effort especially having to drive 2 hours one way to see this girl.

I would rather spend my time working, relaxing, going to the Apple store and playing with their toys, buying new clothes, whatever.

Regarding meds, I'm not taking any because I don't really feel the need. My doctor in the past gave me an "as needed only" anti-anxiety pill which I no longer have a prescription for. She switched me to something to take daily which supposedly helps with anxiety but it didn't suit me (lots of sweating at night and when I wake up I'll be wet, stomach upset mainly very nauseous, leg shaking while at my desk and at night in bed) so then she switched me something that can be used to calm me down as needed only, but when I googled it, it said it is for blood pressure which makes no sense because I've never had high blood pressure and I'm young so I don't feel comfortable using it.

So that leaves me with...nothing lol but it's fine. I'm fine.

I could call my doctor again, but I don't know. I just feel like I don't want to bother her too much. I just feel like there's nothing really out there. She doesn't want me on the as needed anti anxiety pill for good reason I'm sure, the daily one didn't work out and also I don't need something daily, and while maybe the blood pressure would be OK idk, I just don't feel comfortable trying it. Especially over a girl. My heart rate at night is pretty low usually 58-62 so who wants to take blood pressure meds that may lower my heart rate further...but then the doctor said its OK so I don't know. It's optional bc she said it's "as needed only" so I just won't need it haha how about that?

 

[Hieveryone]

Hi everyone. I dumped her again but I don't think she believes me.

As one of you said, because I took her back last time, threatening to leave does not carry as much weight this time.

But let me explain:

I did not take her back last time because I backtracked on my word.

I took her back because she agreed to act better, and she did. She spent the night, and things have been great.

This time, the argument is not over her behavior which has been fine, but over something else.

And I threatened to leave if it does not change. While she doesn't believe me, I really will leave her unless she changes.

If she does change, I'll stay. If not, I seriously am finding someone else.

It'll be up to her.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Hi everyone. I dumped her again but I don't think she believes me.

As one of you said, because I took her back last time, threatening to leave does not carry as much weight this time.

But let me explain:

I did not take her back last time because I backtracked on my word.

I took her back because she agreed to act better, and she did. She spent the night, and things have been great.

This time, the argument is not over her behavior which has been fine, but over something else.

And I threatened to leave if it does not change. While she doesn't believe me, I really will leave her unless she changes.

If she does change, I'll stay. If not, I seriously am finding someone else.

It'll be up to her.

Dear me, I thought that this thread had died a death, one from natural causes.

While you arrogate to yourself the right to demand that people change (behaviour and other things) do you accept people demanding that you "change" either behaviour or something else within the context of a relationship? Or, do such demands only go one way?

In any case, given that the drama quotient is one of the things that attracts you, you'll be back.

 

[Pangalactic]

Jesus almighty, we lvl 80 Necromancers here. How is this still going on? Here is the rule of thumb: you CAN'T - CAN'T - make people change if they don't want to. Period. If the person doesn't want to change, you can spend 9000 years with them and not move a single step forward.

Hi everyone. I dumped her again but I don't think she believes me.
I did not take her back last time because I backtracked on my word.

I took her back because she agreed to act better, and she did. She spent the night, and things have been great.

Basically she is manipulating you with cycles, going back and forth, promising something again and again and again. More pain will be coming your way, it's not gonna change.

And I threatened to leave if it does not change. While she doesn't believe me, I really will leave her unless she changes.

If she does change, I'll stay. If not, I seriously am finding someone else.

It'll be up to her.

Wow. Just wow. You've given her the complete reign over this relationship, and now she is responsible for whether it goes on or not? I hate to say it, but it looks like you will be stuck in this endless pain-pleasure-pain cycle for a lot longer.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

.......



Wow. Just wow. You've given her the complete reign over this relationship, and now she is responsible for whether it goes on or not? I hate to say it, but it looks like you will be stuck in this endless pain-pleasure-pain cycle for a lot longer.

We're hearing (or reading) only one side of this sorry saga; given the OP's other threads, I'd imagine that there are two individuals - and not only one - playing starring roles in this endless drama.

 

[Gutwrench]

We're hearing (or reading) only one side of this sorry saga; given the OP's other threads, I'd imagine that there are two players - and not only one - playing starring roles in this endless drama.

Or maybe it’s just development for fanfiction.com.

 

[lambertjohn]

On our first date we went to Nobu and spent 4 hours there. Afterwards we French kissed a few times and she went home.

Our second date was at one of Wolfgang Puck's restaurants but she wasn't in a great mood and the date was only 1.5 hours. I thought it went pretty bad. To my surprise we ended up making out at the end of it and she said text me, so I guess it went well in her mind.

I texted her shortly after making out but no reply, so I texted her again this morning and still no reply.

(Yes I had a mint before making out)

You stuck your tongue in her mouth on a first date? What are you, 15? Show a little respect, man. Women don't want to be slobbered on, especially on a first date. I probably wouldn't even have kissed her on that first date. Be classy. Thank her for a good time and let her go home, slobber-free. She's not some bowl of cereal that you can just dig into. She probably suspects that all you want to do it get into her pants, and that's why she's flown the coup. I don't blame her. You want the love of a woman, take your time and treat her like she's the best thing to ever happen to you. And she'll return the favor...someday. But if all you want to do is stick your tongue down her throat, you need to find you a hooker.

 

[Gutwrench]

But if all you want to do is stick your tongue down her throat, you need to find you a hooker.

Hookers don’t kiss.
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Err...so I’ve been told. ?
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Read...I’ve read that. ?

 

[retta283]

Really? This is still going on? I thought this was over last month.

She's not gonna change. Don't even try. Just end it already, she's made herself clear.

 

[mollyc]

Really? This is still going on? I thought this was over last month.

She's not gonna change. Don't even try. Just end it already, she's made herself clear.

but he likes the draaammmmaaaaaa ?

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Really? This is still going on? I thought this was over last month.

She's not gonna change. Don't even try. Just end it already, she's made herself clear.

Neither is he about to change, or develop, or grow, and that is also the issue.

Remember, as with duets, or dialogues, - or, indeed, dances - in this sort of relationship, sometimes, just sometimes, there are two people.

but he likes the draaammmmaaaaaa ?

Exactly.

At diva - and there are male divas and prima-donnas and drama kings, just as there are female divas and prima-donnas and drama queens - intensity; drama for two.

 

[retta283]

but he likes the draaammmmaaaaaa ?

I think you'd need to have a lot of free time to deal with that kind of drama. I was on the move all the time, if a relationship was problematic I could not deal with it.

 

[mollyc]

I think you'd need to have a lot of free time to deal with that kind of drama. I was on the move all the time, if a relationship was problematic I could not deal with it.

That would be the logical solution, but hieveryone has never been logical.

I avoided commenting on this thread for an entire week I think! And now I'm sucked back in. #bother

 

[Scepticalscribe]

That would be the logical solution, but hieveryone has never been logical.

I avoided commenting on this thread for an entire week I think! And now I'm sucked back in. #bother

Likewise.

Actually, I had hoped that it would have fallen off the radar by now.

But, every time it runs the risk of doing just that, the OP returns with yet another post and proceeds to deposit it here on this thread, for the agony aunts (and uncles) of the internet to decipher and decode, and dispense advice (ditch her, say many of the males, stop placing such an emphasis on superficial things such as perfect elevens, and grow up, advise many of the women who have posted) neither of which the OP will ever take, while he continues to revel in the attention his supposed issues have generated.

However, I suspect that the OP - hieveryone - needs the attention this thread bestows on him, his life, his activities (real or imagined) as much as he needs the draaaaama of his life and relationships (real or imagined).

Seriously: How many on this forum write in to describe every detail of a rocky relationship?

And, having done that, how many proceed to blithely disregard every single syllable of advice that has been proffered yet insist on returning to the subject matter and dissecting it still further?

 

[Hieveryone]

Y’all are right.

This is a CYCLE. It keeps CYCLING.

What in the world.

I’m losing my mind dealing with this relationship.

I have to get out.

 

[Hieveryone]

The question is how do I get out?

It’s so hard to do. I need help doing it.
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I think you'd need to have a lot of free time to deal with that kind of drama. I was on the move all the time, if a relationship was problematic I could not deal with it.

my work is suffering bc of this. So are my friendships bc they’re tired of hearing me talk about it and giving me emotional support. My family as well.
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Jesus almighty, we lvl 80 Necromancers here. How is this still going on? Here is the rule of thumb: you CAN'T - CAN'T - make people change if they don't want to. Period. If the person doesn't want to change, you can spend 9000 years with them and not move a single step forward.



Basically she is manipulating you with cycles, going back and forth, promising something again and again and again. More pain will be coming your way, it's not gonna change.




Wow. Just wow. You've given her the complete reign over this relationship, and now she is responsible for whether it goes on or not? I hate to say it, but it looks like you will be stuck in this endless pain-pleasure-pain cycle for a lot longer.

how do I get out?! I Want to change. I want things to get better in my life. I don’t want to live like this.

I’ll do anything just to find peace and happiness again
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You stuck your tongue in her mouth on a first date? What are you, 15? Show a little respect, man. Women don't want to be slobbered on, especially on a first date. I probably wouldn't even have kissed her on that first date. Be classy. Thank her for a good time and let her go home, slobber-free. She's not some bowl of cereal that you can just dig into. She probably suspects that all you want to do it get into her pants, and that's why she's flown the coup. I don't blame her. You want the love of a woman, take your time and treat her like she's the best thing to ever happen to you. And she'll return the favor...someday. But if all you want to do is stick your tongue down her throat, you need to find you a hooker.

Umm SHE dived in for this kiss. Not me.

 

[Hieveryone]

Really? This is still going on? I thought this was over last month.

She's not gonna change. Don't even try. Just end it already, she's made herself clear.

how do I end it?

 

[obeygiant]

love is a drug

 

[retta283]

Just break up with her. There's not much more you can do than that. Break up, and don't have any dealings with her anymore. It might be hard to swallow at first, but you'll be much, much better in the long run. You need to just carry on.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Y’all are right.

This is a CYCLE. It keeps CYCLING.

What in the world.

I’m losing my mind dealing with this relationship.

I have to get out.

That is because you want it "to keep cycling".

Your choices.

Your character.

This is what you are attracted to, and possibly what you choose to attract.

how do I end it?

Really?

You work - or so you say, in Wall Street - and you ask "how do I end it?" when you know perfectly well that in another few days you will be writing something on the endlessly repetitive lines of: "all good; we had a great night; things are clear between us; she has promised to change; I don't want an average, boring life, with an average, boring person; I like drama; we get on so well together;...."

And so on.

 

[Hieveryone]

Just break up with her. There's not much more you can do than that. Break up, and don't have any dealings with her anymore. It might be hard to swallow at first, but you'll be much, much better in the long run. You need to just carry on.

Ok. I guess the good old fashion way then.

it’s gonna be hard at first.Very hard. But I have to trust that in the future I won’t regret it. I know I won’t.
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love is a drug

Wow you’re right. And the only way to get off that drug is tojust stop itI guess

 

[D.T.]

You work - or so you say, in Wall Street - and you ask "how do I end it?"

It's funny, I've known a number of people who went into the financial sector (one tried to get me involved knowing my capability with numbers and "stones of steel") , enough years ago that it aligns with the OP's current age (er, "reported age"), and they didn't have the time for any of this kind of nonsense, they were heads down, 12+ hour days, little time for any drama - and they were all very assertive, so the current delima would've been easily handled.

I have no idea how the OP navigates his supposed industry given what he's displayed in this thread ...

 

[Hieveryone]

It's funny, I've known a number of people who went into the financial sector, enough years ago that it aligns with the OP's current age (er, "reported age"), and they didn't have the time for any of this kind of nonsense, they were heads down, 12+ hour days, little time for any drama - and they were all very assertive, so the current delima would've been easily handled.

I have no idea how the OP navigates his supposed industry given what he's displayed in this thread ...

you must be talking about analysts or at best associates

 

[Scepticalscribe]

It's funny, I've known a number of people who went into the financial sector (one tried to get me involved knowing my capability with numbers and "stones of steel") , enough years ago that it aligns with the OP's current age (er, "reported age"), and they didn't have the time for any of this kind of nonsense, they were heads down, 12+ hour days, little time for any drama - and they were all very assertive, so the current delima would've been easily handled.

I have no idea how the OP navigates his supposed industry given what he's displayed in this thread ...

My thoughts exactly.

 

[avz]

Just be yourself and...