Think she moved on, feel awful

[Clix Pix]

Hey, OP, suppose you marry the "perfect 10" blonde prancing goddess and the two of you happily cavort around your home and in the bedroom and lo and behold, by mutual agreement there is all of a sudden a kid on the way..... WOOT!!! A BABY!!!

What would you and the "perfect 10" blonde goddess do if that kid doesn't turn out to be just as gorgeous as Mommy and/or as handsome as Daddy and right out of the womb, right off the bat has some very obvious physical issues and/or immediately at birth or not too long afterward exhibits an equally obvious intellectual impairment issue or looks seemingly perfectly normal but as he or she goes through the usual growth process eventually isn't achieving and demonstrating the normal milestones and acts quite differently than most children of his or her age?

 

[Hieveryone]

No, not at all.

As per usual, you are in error, completely clueless about women, and have very warped views on women, and the roles women should play in society and life.

No, not "every woman" wants to have children. And, nowadays, for the first time ever, women have the choice not to, and can still remain independent economically, while also engaging in relationships, should they choose to do so.

And, it is extraordinarily patronising (but not surprising given the sexist tone and believe system - "perfect 10s", prancing, hot, but exceptionally young blonds, none of whom want to discuss philosophy but who do want to be prancing adornments- but, of course - bear children, as has been made abundantly clear in some of your earlier posts), not to mention offensive, to suggest that women who choose not to have children have lived "incomplete lives".

Some women have other priorities, and the blessings and advances of the twentieth (and twenty first) centuries mean, that for the first time in recorded history, if you are a woman (in the First World, at least) you can get to fulfill some of your life ambitions and choices, and these may include not chasing to bear children.

Nevertheless, it is fascinating that some men seem to find it incredibly threatening to think that there are women who are disinclined to shoulder the caring burdens of society and who may to wish - or choose not to - bear children.

Many do, but a surprising number do not, and, nowadays, not least with access to education, and therefore, economic autonomy, and the choices afforded by safe, reliable, and affordable birth control, they can actually choose not to have children - and yet, still have relationships.

Umm last time I checked there's 7 billion people on earth and you yourself think there's a population crisis.

Apparently these women aren't solely doing "journalism" or whatever you think they are.

They're also having children; every single woman has kids minus an extremely small few which is statistically insignificant.

And frankly, it's their loss. They missed out on a big part of life.
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I don't particularly want kids, if she desperately wants them then I'll have them. I never did want kids before, but i'd have them with her. But thus far she doesn't want them, which is fine with me. As mentioned by people above, i feel it is more the woman's decision, as she is the one who's body has to carry them.

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Nah. You are assuming every woman wants kids.

Some don't.

Some don't want the hassle, would rather spend time doing things THEY want to do in life rather than raise children.

Kids are a 20-30+ year commitment to basically putting your own life on hold and cost hundreds of thousands of dollars or more.

Just because a woman doesn't want kids, doesn't mean she isn't committed to a relationship.
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We know how much you know about women from this thread.
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100% on the money.

Myself and my girlfriend do not want to spend time on children (well, at least for me - they are not a priority. her happiness is high on the list and she doesn't want them. i could go either way, but have no desire to procreate myself).

We are happy doing the things we want to do with our lives. Children are a hassle to travel with, kill your sex life, kill your social life, kill your wallet and the planet is overpopulated anyway.

If a couple doesn't want to have children they are part of an extremely small minority and in the end it's only their loss.

Why someone wouldn't want to experience one of life's greatest joys is beyond the 99.99999% of couples who have children.
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Hey, OP, suppose you marry the "perfect 10" blonde prancing goddess and the two of you happily cavort around your home and in the bedroom and lo and behold, by mutual agreement there is all of a sudden a kid on the way..... WOOT!!! A BABY!!!

What would you and the "perfect 10" blonde goddess do if that kid doesn't turn out to be just as gorgeous as Mommy and/or as handsome as Daddy and right out of the womb, right off the bat has some very obvious physical issues and/or immediately at birth or not too long afterward exhibits an equally obvious intellectual impairment issue or looks seemingly perfectly normal but as he or she goes through the usual growth process eventually isn't achieving and demonstrating the normal milestones and acts quite differently than most children of his or her age?

Are you insinuating that disabled children are "lesser" human beings unworthy of love and respect?
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The reality is that the woman does have all the power, so it is extremely important for a man to "bottom line" on a certain key things if he does not want to look like a fool later.

There was a story on Australian TV when a woman had a kid from a guy on a side while being in a serious relationship(or even marriage). The poor shmuck did not even find out about it until years later. The fun part is that she did not even admit that she did something very horrible. After all it is the "sole decision of a woman and woman only". According to the statistics(UK I believe) there are 30% of population in a similar situations.

Don't get me wrong, I am not hating on women, simply because they kinda have to be the gatekeepers of whose genes are carry on into the future. It is actually might be a very mature attitude for a man to accept the situation and admit that his genes are not good enough to move forward(especially if he was not bright enough to prevent this situation in the first place).

But it takes two to tango my friend.

If there's no men, there's no genes being passed on.

That's why it's an equal decision. Not up to one or the other.

 

[D.T.]

They're also having children; every single woman has kids minus an extremely small few which is statistically insignificant.

As usual, you're not correct (also, extra points for having no idea about something being statistically significant ...)

 

[Hieveryone]

.... a woman was responsible for writing the code that landed man on the moon. I'd say thats infinitely more impressive than popping out yet another human being like so many billions of others have done before.


As mentioned above several times, you have a very narrow perspective on a lot of things. Ever think that the girls you are dating are dating you because they are looking for a source of money for their babies? i.e., your perception is skewed. If you socialise in different circles other than just trying to pick up women at clubs, etc. then you will get a different perspective.

As mentioned several times above - women aren't just crazy baby factories. They are people with varied needs and desires, and you need to understand that. Maybe your girl wants kids - good for you. But to assume that all or even most do is just not in touch with reality.

Childbirth is painful, it plays havoc with the body, along with all the other drawbacks i mentioned above.

Childbirth is not some miraculous achievement. It's something that even the stupidest animals in the history of the universe manage quite easily.

To claim that childbirth is "one of the most amazing things a woman can do in her life" is abhorrent, and reduces women to baby factories no different to the simplest of mammals.

Umm being successful is NOT a replacement for having a family like when was the last time someone said "I have no family but I write good code" and then she expects people to say what? Like "OH well in THAT case who needs kids?!?! You've got good code 👌"

 

[Clix Pix]

Are you insinuating that disabled children are "lesser" human beings unworthy of love and respect?

No, I am asking you how you and "Hot Blonde 10" gorgeous Mommy would deal with such a situation if it happened..... A pretty direct question, actually...... Or WOULD you be able to deal with it?

 

[Hieveryone]

This thread ( via the OP) would make for a best selling book on dysfunctional relationships that are centered around treating women as status symbol pets, and the adolescent men looking for self-acceptance through psychological manipulation.

OP,

At this point in your intellectual and emotional life, you are not capable of having a healthy and fulfilling relationship with any woman who values herself beyond empty, placating words and material goods and money.

At this point, you will continue to attract women who are just as dysfunctional. And the very things you have been complaining about will continue, because the problems stem from and are perpetuated by you.

The last thing in the world you need to be thinking about right now, is fathering a child.

To the other responders, it would be best to start ignoring this thread, as the OP views attention, even negative, as twisted affirmation of his behavior.

The OP is about bragging and self-indulgence. No matter what is said and how many times he may agree, he will continue on as he has been. By responding and agreeing at times, he is able to keep the focus on him, which is where the self- indulgence comes in.

The OP wants what he wants no matter how he gets it.

How many of you have, or have had a friend who seems to live in constant emotional crisis? Said friend constantly unloads his or her emotional baggage on you like you were a landfill, agreeing with your sage advice, and the next day, week, and month, said friend is still engaged in the same behavior that supposedly makes them upset. And all said friend is looking to do, is unload the garbage on you or someone else, so that they can relieve themselves of the burden, thus absolving them (in their mind) of having to rightfully address the problems of their own creation.

These are the kinds of things that have been manifest in this thread from the OP, along with his other threads. Be strong and disengage.

Well apparently not because everything's going just fine *knock on wood*

I want the same things as everyone else: A house, a car, a job, a wife

I just want them a little bit better than average. A big house, a nice car, a great career, and hot blond wife lol

That's why I chose a career where there's opportunity to make a lot of money. That's why I choose to be friends with girls in their early 20s. And so on and so on.

Most people want a big life but don't know how to go about it or just don't care enough to try, which is fine- nothing wrong with that.
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And if you are inferring that women aren't smart enough to do "journalism" and have children too is frankly very condescending not to mention untrue @Scepticalscribe

 

[Hieveryone]

The only other situation I could think of where a woman might not want a baby, aside from a health issue, is if she wasn't into men.

Like I guess you could adopt, but if a woman likes other women then the natural course of events would obviously be balked.

But otherwise if a woman is attracted to men in general, then it's only natural a family comes at some point and this applies to 99.999999999% of humanity lol

Like what normal society does is find someone they like, and eventually have a baby and raise a family

We could talk about you're feminist here and there who's anti-everything but that's literally only a few compared to rest of what everyone else does

 

[throAU]

Umm being successful is NOT a replacement for having a family like when was the last time someone said "I have no family but I write good code" and then she expects people to say what? Like "OH well in THAT case who needs kids?!?! You've got good code 👌"

For you? No. For others? Definitely.

And it isn't necessarily success vs. kids.

It's doing what YOU (she) wants to do with your (her) life.

Some people (those who are secure in their own beliefs/desires) don't care what others think.

You think kids are essential. You are desperate to get married. You don't even care if it is long term, you just want to get it done. Maybe you're seeking parental or peer approval/validation perhaps? Neither myself nor my partner are. We are happy to enjoy our lives together.

Without the hassle of children. The fact that you can't seem to accept that not all people think the same shows just how narrow minded you are.

After kids, your "hot blonde wife" is going to have stretch marks, body fat, bags under her eyes, etc. What are you going to do then? You'll be waking up every 2-4 hours to tend to the child(ren), etc.

You won't be able to fly without screaming babies, you won't be able to have sex because she/both of you will be too tired, etc. Doesn't sound fun to me?

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Well apparently not because everything's going just fine *knock on wood*

You've split how many times, and the current status has been "all good" for how many DAYS now?

 

[Hieveryone]

For you? No. For others? Definitely.

And it isn't necessarily success vs. kids.

It's doing what YOU (she) wants to do with your (her) life.

Some people (those who are secure in their own beliefs/desires) don't care what others think.

You think kids are essential. You are desperate to get married. Maybe you're seeking parental or peer approval/validation perhaps? Neither myself nor my partner are. We are happy to enjoy our lives together.

Without the hassle of children. The fact that you can't seem to accept that not all people think the same shows just how narrow minded you are.


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You've split how many times, and the current status has been "all good" for how many DAYS now?

No it's just that not wanting a family is an aberration from the norm that doesn't make sense to 99.9999% of society who do

 

[throAU]

No it's just that not wanting a family is an aberration from the norm that doesn't make sense to 99.9999% of society who do

You are pulling numbers from nowhere. You cite that "every woman you have met wants kids" or whatever.

I can do that too.

Most of my friends are early 30s to late 40s. The vast majority do not have kids and do not want kids. A number of them (including one of the women) have had the procedures to ensure it can't happen.

 

[Clix Pix]

After kids, your "hot blonde wife" is going to have stretch marks, body fat, bags under her eyes, etc. What are you going to do then? You'll be waking up every 2-4 hours to tend to the child(ren), etc.

You won't be able to fly without screaming babies, you won't be able to have sex because she/both of you will be too tired, etc. Doesn't sound fun to me?

Oh, no, OP won't be doing that; he'll expect his wife to be the one waking up every couple of hours and dealing with whatever the child needs, as he has to get up in the morning and go to his very high-paying, important Wall Street job..... That's HER job, looking after the child(ren)!!

 

[throAU]

Oh, no, OP won't be doing that; he'll expect his wife to be the one waking up every couple of hours and dealing with whatever the child needs, as he has to get up in the morning and go to his very high-paying, important Wall Street job..... That's HER job, looking after the child(ren)!!

Definitely never having sex with her ever again after that, then

 

[Hieveryone]

You are pulling numbers from nowhere. You cite that "every woman you have met wants kids" or whatever.

I can do that too.

Most of my friends are early 30s to late 40s. The vast majority do not have kids and do not want kids. A number of them (including one of the women) have had the procedures to ensure it can't happen.

Uh...people in their 40s ALREADY have kids obvi
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Oh, no, OP won't be doing that; he'll expect his wife to be the one waking up every couple of hours and dealing with whatever the child needs, as he has to get up in the morning and go to his very high-paying, important Wall Street job..... That's HER job, looking after the child(ren)!!

Well if you think I’m marrying a woman who doesn’t want kids because she has to do “journalism” or bc she writes “good code” then she just has to live by herself and frankly nobody cares bc it’s her loss

Every single human wants a family minus like literally 1 person here or there which is an aberration. It’s not normal to not want one. The normal thing is marriage and family.

 

[Clix Pix]

Every single human wants a family minus like literally 1 person here or there which is an aberration. It’s not normal to not want one. The normal thing is marriage and family.

Many people don't have families of origin (biological) or even perhaps adoptive, for whatever reason, and yet as adults they may or may not choose to create one for themselves, even if there is no biological relationship..... Friends can also be "family," in nearly every sense of the word, too. Reality is that there are also those who just have never met the person with whom they would choose to spend the rest of their lives, or, indeed there are also those who prefer to be more solitary as well, and that is their decision.

So, since your idea of "the normal thing" is "marriage and family," you're really casually dismissing a percentage of the population who handles their lives somewhat differently.

For you does that "normal thing" of "marriage and family" go beyond the stereotypical man and woman, or does it allow for people of the same sex or people who don't specifically identify with one gender or another to also have marriage and families of their own, too?

 

[Hieveryone]

Many people don't have families of origin (biological) or even perhaps adoptive, for whatever reason, and yet as adults they may or may not choose to create one for themselves, even if there is no biological relationship..... Friends can also be "family," in nearly every sense of the word, too. Reality is that there are also those who just have never met the person with whom they would choose to spend the rest of their lives, or, indeed there are also those who prefer to be more solitary as well, and that is their decision.

So, since your idea of "the normal thing" is "marriage and family," you're really casually dismissing a percentage of the population who handles their lives somewhat differently.

For you does that "normal thing" of "marriage and family" go beyond the stereotypical man and woman, or does it allow for people of the same sex or people who don't specifically identify with one gender or another to also have marriage and families of their own, too?

0.0000000000001% of the population isn’t enough to re-define what normal is. The percent of people who don’t live normal lives is so small it’s more of an aberration.

As far as women who are attracted to other women, that’s a tough situation. Like if you’re a girl who likes men, you’ll meet one sooner or later who you like and start a family. It’s only natural to do so.

If you’re a woman who only likes women that’s fine...but how in the world are y’all gonna have kids? I guess adoption is good but idk it just seems like a tough situation.

 

[avz]

Many people don't have families of origin (biological) or even perhaps adoptive, for whatever reason, and yet as adults they may or may not choose to create one for themselves, even if there is no biological relationship..... Friends can also be "family," in nearly every sense of the word, too. Reality is that there are also those who just have never met the person with whom they would choose to spend the rest of their lives, or, indeed there are also those who prefer to be more solitary as well, and that is their decision.

So, since your idea of "the normal thing" is "marriage and family," you're really casually dismissing a percentage of the population who handles their lives somewhat differently.

For you does that "normal thing" of "marriage and family" go beyond the stereotypical man and woman, or does it allow for people of the same sex or people who don't specifically identify with one gender or another to also have marriage and families of their own, too?

The OP is coming from a perspective that there are "losers" and "winners". Which is obviously very harsh but somewhat true in a real world.
I believe you are coming more from the "we don't keep score, we are just enjoying ourselves" perspective. The "loser" can always rationalise why he/she is this way.

 

[Hieveryone]

The OP is coming from a perspective that there are "losers" and "winners". Which is obviously very harsh but somewhat true in a real world.
I believe you are coming more from the "we don't keep score, we are just enjoying ourselves" perspective. The "loser" can always rationalise why he/she is this way.

I don’t think of those very small minute few as “losers” of society but they are definitely not going to re-define what’s normal for the rest of us.

 

[avz]

I don’t think of those very small minute few as “losers” of society but they are definitely not going to re-define what’s normal for the rest of us.

I meant it in a broader sense of the word which can be applied to anything. Like there are successful countries with very strong leaders and there are "regional petrol stations" or "regional bordellos".

 

[Hieveryone]

I meant it in a broader sense of the word which can be applied to anything. Like there are successful countries with very strong leaders and there are "regional petrol stations" or "regional bordellos".

Makes sense. From a broad sense there's always going to be someone out there who misses out on the joy of children and family. It's unfortunate for them but that's how the world is. It's not perfect.

For example, some countries are great, others aren't so much, and so on.

 

[avz]

Makes sense. From a broad sense there's always going to be someone out there who misses out on the joy of children and family. It's unfortunate for them but that's how the world is. It's not perfect.

For example, some countries are great, others aren't so much, and so on.

I would not necessarily say that the world is not perfect. I would just say that the world is extremely competitive, you can't just sit back, "be yourself" and expect the good things happen to you automatically because you think you are "worth it".

 

[throAU]

Makes sense. From a broad sense there's always going to be someone out there who misses out on the joy of children and family. It's unfortunate for them but that's how the world is. It's not perfect.

For example, some countries are great, others aren't so much, and so on.

Marry this girl, pop out a kid and come back in 18 months and tell us how happy you are.

If it doesn't work out, no harm, no foul, right?


Meanwhile, the child-less among us will continue to enjoy hassle free travel, sex whenever and wherever we want, largely uninterrupted sleep, more disposable income, sports cars, motorcycles, non-child friendly movies, etc.

 

[Hieveryone]

Marry this girl, pop out a kid and come back in 18 months and tell us how happy you are.

If it doesn't work out, no harm, no foul, right?


Meanwhile, the child-less among us will continue to enjoy hassle free travel, sex whenever and wherever we want, largely uninterrupted sleep, more disposable income, sports cars, motorcycles, non-child friendly movies, etc.

Haha!!

“Hey honey you know that family we talked about? Well yeah uh I’ve got to ride a motorcycle” 😂

(I’m assuming your post was sarcastic)

 

[avz]

Marry this girl, pop out a kid and come back in 18 months and tell us how happy you are.

If it doesn't work out, no harm, no foul, right?


Meanwhile, the child-less among us will continue to enjoy hassle free travel, sex whenever and wherever we want, largely uninterrupted sleep, more disposable income, sports cars, motorcycles, non-child friendly movies, etc.

LOL. I am getting confused here, I thought that the OP is somehow supposed to be "shallow"?

 

[throAU]

Haha!!

“Hey honey you know that family we talked about? Well yeah uh I’ve got to ride a motorcycle” 😂

(I’m assuming your post was sarcastic)

Not sarcastic at all.

All of those things are things you will need to give up time with if you need to transport or look after children.

And if you aren't looking after your children, but out-sourcing it to somebody else, then are you even getting the experience?
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LOL. I am getting confused here, I thought that the OP is somehow supposed to be "shallow"?

What, your partner can't also enjoy those things as well?

Mine does. These are some of the things we enjoy doing together. Why would we introduce kids into that environment, and sacrifice doing things we enjoy - when neither of us even like children?

 

[Hieveryone]

LOL. I am getting confused here, I thought that the OP is somehow supposed to be "shallow"?

I didn’t think @throAU was being serious.

He seems more shallow than me.

At least I want a monogamous relationship with one girl and family just like normal people.

I just want to do it with someone hot lol.

And the good news is that girls stay hot for a LONG time these days.

As we’ve discussed, just look at the First Lady. She’s stunning!!!